Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You are totally correct. The children's grandmother has no business in those sessions. She has no legal rights to anything involving the kids.
If DAIB wants to discuss extended family dynamics with a professional, he can find a different therapist who will address the situation. Then you can sign a release that enables the second therapist to discuss the sessions with L.'s therapist.
If L. is having meltdowns in order to get more attention when she's with her father, it has nothing to do with you. It's not your responsibility. Frankly, what goes on in that regard, when she is with her dad, is beyond your control. It's all his responsibility. She shouldn't be disciplined at your home for what happens at DAIB's living place when he's doing nothing to address the issue. He needs to be made aware that you will not take responsibility for what happens when you aren't present.
Yeah - keep the mother out - only L's parents should be there.
I am sending major prayers up for you - it is so bizarre how much you are reminding me of me about 10 years ago. Remember what you told L - God doesn't give you more than you can handle. It's true - you just have to give it back to Him. Trust that it will be okay.
I know you know all of this - maybe you're tired of hearing it too!
We all care so much about you and we want the best for you & the children. So do many people in your life.
Secrets at dad's- something else for a counselor to delve into.
And I do think the grades issue is something to be expected, especially since A seems to internalize so much. Keep in touch with the teachers and stay on top of him to turn in his work.
I really hope the engine is a fit- do you have a plan to get it to VA if it does?
You are totally correct. The children's grandmother has no business in those sessions. She has no legal rights to anything involving the kids.
If DAIB wants to discuss extended family dynamics with a professional, he can find a different therapist who will address the situation. Then you can sign a release that enables the second therapist to discuss the sessions with L.'s therapist.
If L. is having meltdowns in order to get more attention when she's with her father, it has nothing to do with you. It's not your responsibility. Frankly, what goes on in that regard, when she is with her dad, is beyond your control. It's all his responsibility. She shouldn't be disciplined at your home for what happens at DAIB's living place when he's doing nothing to address the issue. He needs to be made aware that you will not take responsibility for what happens when you aren't present.
This is something that you'll have to address too - but honestly time has a way of working things out all on it's own. Somethings anyway - I would honestly just ignore 99% of what comes out of ib's mouth - who is he to tell you what to do about ANYTHING??????
Ok- more posts since my post landed- given the situation a few months ago with his mother involved in trying to have you declared incompetent without cause, I think her attempts to interject herself into any aspects of your divorce will be seen as interfering.
Robyn, this "secret" stuff worries me. I know this may sound bad, but do you know if L is still sleeping in the same bed with ib? It does raise a red flag in my book, as much as I hate to say it. The first time you found out that she was sleeping in his bed and now she's being told to keep "secrets." I'm sorry, but this has to be considered.
I worried about the same thing as Synopsis but didn't want to say it. Do you know what the sleeping arrangements are?
So sorry about the car problems. Seems like life comes to a grinding halt when you're without a car. Hope your brother is able to work some magic.
Is there any way you and the kids could take a bus to your sister's for Thanksgiving? I know times have changed but I used to love to travel by bus when I was a kid. Just a thought.
With all that you and the kids have been through I'd be surprised if A wasn't making 'C's and if L wasn't having meltdowns. You all are maintaining yourselves much better than I would be under the circumstances.
Hope today brings you some good news. You are overdue, sister.
Yes, Robyn, alot of us are silently hoping the best for you, you deserve to win some good fortune- I havent been posting due to own junk happening (lol- I will spare everyone the details) Everyone here is great !!
L slept on an air matress on the living room floor while there. I think that his mother slept on the couch in the same room. ib was upstairs in mils room and A was in bils sons room.
I think L was just trying to keep the upset secret from me on her own. She said that was private. I just asked her, and she said she didn't want everyone in the whole wide universe to know what happened.
It is very upsetting to her when she does this, and to me as well, trying to maintain composure. I think that her 'stay strong' mentality didn't work while she was with him, and she had the three meltdowns. I think she was upset with herself that it happened, and he probably made a huge deal over it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
100% agree
