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I have been approached by younger men quite a bit in real life and it's usually because they either think I am younger or because they want sex and have a cougar fantasy. I doubt I'd date a much younger man because we are in different phases of our lives.
However, the amount of men my dad's age and older who approach me never fails to amuse me. They believe the PUA's lies that women desire much older men and that older women should take what we can get. They are usually nasty when I reject them, like how dare I. They usually stink, and overweight and disgusting too. I don't know many women dying to date older men unless they have a fetish or a daddy problem.
This is a really interesting thread, thanks for the question OP.
It sounds like a pretty shabby pool of single men out there, if we are to believe what these women are saying haha (although I know that's not the case). The age thing I totally get. You want someone you can easily relate to. I also get the not-professional-enough rejection, as you want someone who is in the same career and/or education ball park as you.
What I don't get is that it seems that, for many women, the actual fact that a guy approached her puts him in a category right off the bat. This category hovers around that thin line of confidence & cockiness, and most girls assume cockiness...which signals the "he's only into my looks, he just wants sex" rejection rationale in their head.
This is a really interesting thread, thanks for the question OP.
It sounds like a pretty shabby pool of single men out there, if we are to believe what these women are saying haha (although I know that's not the case). The age thing I totally get. You want someone you can easily relate to. I also get the not-professional-enough rejection, as you want someone who is in the same career and/or education ball park as you.
Really, those are the only reasons that come up. You need to be with someone you can have a meaningful conversation with. You're not going to have much, if anything, in common with a kid or college student, or with the guy behind the fish counter at the grocery store.
No, the point isn't that there's a shabby pool of men out there. To the contrary; the point is that these are the only guys who are approaching women. Why aren't the more qualified potential candidates approaching women? Maybe they're not into cold approaches, or chatting with women in the yogurt aisle. Where do professional types expect to meet women? Are they even trying? Going to science or economics lectures and the like doesn't do it, either.
No, the point isn't that there's a shabby pool of men out there. To the contrary; the point is that these are the only guys who are approaching women. Why aren't the more qualified potential candidates approaching women? Maybe they're not into cold approaches, or chatting with women in the yogurt aisle. Where do professional types expect to meet women? Are they even trying? Going to science or economics lectures and the like doesn't do it, either.
I was at a coffee shop with my sis one time, and this unkempt guy 15 years older and with no social awareness was bugging me. You know, the usual thing.
My sis went back to the same shop the next day, and the guy behind the counter told her that he was interested in me, but he didn't want to interrupt our lunch.
My sis's conclusion was that nice, appealing, guys don't approach in public because they know it is uncomfortable for women. The only guys who DO cold approaches are the ones with major social issues.
It's not that I and every woman here is a magnet for weirdos (I think all women think it's just them). It's that weirdos are the ones who behave like that.
In addition, the guys with problems are the ones who are always looking. This time next year, they will still be approaching random women. But the considerate guy behind the counter won't be. He will have a girlfriend.
The guy behind the counter wouldn't have to interrupt your lunch. He could have chatted with you a bit while filling your order, he could have said, "I hope you'll come back and see us again" when you left. If you go to that shop other times, he could engage you in conversation while ordering, and build up to something.
The guy behind the counter wouldn't have to interrupt your lunch. He could have chatted with you a bit while filling your order, he could have said, "I hope you'll come back and see us again" when you left. If you go to that shop other times, he could engage you in conversation while ordering, and build up to something.
I feel like all the women who talk about turning down guys too young are lying
if you're hot enough to be picking up 20 year olds when you're 40, you're not going to settle for a 35 year old when you could have a hot college stud
- That early 20s hot college stud is likely, at best, an "entry-level adult" when it comes to maturity, life experiences, possibly people skills and of course his age.
- He's also likely lacking in wisdom, even if he's intelligent.
- Many 30 and 40-something women would not be able to relate to him, due to the age gap and probable generational differences. Many probably still perceive him as a kid.
This is assuming that the woman is interested in a relationship. OTOH, if she's just wanting a FB or whatever, then it's possible she may not care about the above things. Standards tend to be higher when wanting a r-ship instead of just sex.
EDIT: Rep to UrbanAdventurer's post earlier.
Last edited by GravityMan; 07-25-2013 at 07:26 PM..
Reason: added stuff
I rarely approach women..im not good at chatting up strangers plus i dont feel they want to be bothered nor would they be physcially attracted to me..
It's not always about whether they'd be physically attracted to you. It's just about passing the time in the checkout line or at the bus stop, or wherever, being neighborly, and sharing a laugh or an interesting conversation. And with some women, that's all it takes to pique their interest. If you think women need to be physically attracted to you in order to be interested, you're thinking like a guy. Some women think like that, but many don't.
It's not always about whether they'd be physically attracted to you. It's just about passing the time in the checkout line or at the bus stop, or wherever, being neighborly, and sharing a laugh or an interesting conversation. And with some women, that's all it takes to pique their interest.
Fair enough but im pretty shy until i get to know someone..approaching strangers first isnt something im very good at..
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