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I'm 6ish hours away from her. I can't really go to her, either. The situation, as it is, is indefinite. After this, it's likely I'll be even further away.
Just got off the phone...it was a very strained conversation. I mean, I didn't mind...I enjoy her voice, it's why I called. It's just that, I guess, we were more of a 'doing things with each other' type couple...and without that, it's just hard. I guess the distance is more of a burden than I anticipated.
Also, given that I'm young, and she even younger, I don't know how serious it actually is.
When do you call it quits, I guess? I mean, if the trepidation due to being in a relationship with her is more than whatever benefit I get from it, if it's a negative force in my life rather than a positive, does it mean I'm being foolhardy by staying in this?
Perhaps the problem is that I call too often. I like to talk to her daily, at least. Just to catch up. Thing is, there's nothing to really catch up on. Maybe every other day? But, then the pattern is established...I call less and less, and she's less and less a part of my life...before I know it, we just fell off. Such a cliche....how hard should I work to make it work? How hard should she work? Or, is that how life goes sometimes? You just grow apart...and you move on?
Distance relationships are difficult to maintain in the best of circumstances. It requires a deep commitment by both people to make it work despite the distance and inability to do things together. The distance makes it difficult to grow the relationship, and provides ample opportunity to search out a new relationship.
Now, whether or not is worth it depends on the seriousness, commitment, and plans to rectify the situation. You said your likely going to end up farther away. Honestly, if you think this is a potential LTR situation, the two of you would need to be in an agreement to try and eventually be together. It gives both of you a price to keep your eyes on, and motivation to keep going.
If the seperation seems to be a permanent situation, then there is not much incentive to see a future.
I did torture myself years ago trying to keep and grow a relationship with a woman who moved out of town to pursue a job. Neither of us had plans to move somewhere to be together or to seriously pursue the relationship. So we emailed, called, snail mailed stuff, got together when we could (infrequently)... and eventually things got bad and the relationship died. (Really it died because she started seeing someone there, due to a need and desire to have a relationship with a person she could be with... and I cannot blame her for that!).
The two of you need to be clear on your expectations with each other for the relationship, and then see if the distance thing can eventually be resolved satisfactorily.
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