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I did this once and the guy was extremely turned off and upset with me. He would have preferred that I let him be a man, and court me properly including paying for me. So I learned from that and I let them all be men and court me properly
They pay my way and I provide them with good company and sweetly show my gratitude.
Pretty much the way it is for traditional men. If your poor or in college, go dutch, or have a working GF pick up the tab. Cheap guys are a different story. Same as cheap women.
Guys, how would you react if a woman you're dating always wants to go dutch and never wants you to pay for her?
I'm just curious as I would definitely act like this if I were dating someone. (Minus the "I'm independent speech"). Is it a turn off?
I always pay, no matter what. Even if the woman insists, I won't listen. Usually when the woman is being insistent, I'll get up to use the restroom and slip my credit card to the server. I'm an old fashioned guy and that's the way it's done.
Will I am a guy and you would be wrong. What does who pays have to do with romance?
I have split the bill and also paid the entire bill on dates. I just think splitting the bill ALL THE TIME wouldn't feel very romantic to me, so I wouldn't do it.
I prefer to alternate once I am regularly dating someone. On my date with the crush on Friday night, I let him get dinner without arguing because I know he likes to pick up the check and we hadn't seen each other in a long time. When we moved on to the bar for drinks though, I insisted on paying. The dude had just gone through major financial issues, had driven across town to see me when he was exhausted from working two jobs that week, and he had just bought our dinner.
When I go out with him, I always offer to pay my share, and he inevitably refuses. I occasionally politely insist that I pick up the whole dinner tab though. It's not really a sexist "paying for the little lady" thing with him though - his father was kind of a deadbeat, and I think he takes stuff like that very seriously.
Not sure how this will pan out if we keep seeing each other.
I have split the bill and also paid the entire bill on dates. I just think splitting the bill ALL THE TIME wouldn't feel very romantic to me, so I wouldn't do it.
I don't get this "romance" argument. If you enjoy someone's company, isn't that enough?
I don't get this "romance" argument. If you enjoy someone's company, isn't that enough?
If it's with my bf of 4th months, I don't mind that. We already know each other and enjoy our company. If it's with a new guy I'm meeting for the first time and took all my time getting dressed up then he better at least put some effort.
No, extremists killed the order of things... people that can't understand the term balanced. They go for either extremes from overly doing it with an elaborate and expensive date or going totally dutch. No one is asking for either of them but how about a normal, simple date (for example: the movies or cafe)?
Or maybe no one cares about the order of things. The extremist are loud but they are not the norm. Even then if they want completely elaborate and expensive dates or want super dutch they can do what they please. You have every right not to date them as they have to do their extreme and super whatever but honestly those numbers are small.
Personally I don't put much stock in "normal"
For example I hate movie dates you can't talk, you don't know what kind of movie the other person will like, the set up is way to impersonal in the attempt to get to know someone and I hate coffee so I would not know of any cafe place unless she suggested it.
Again the fundamentalist friend who acts in a way (i.e. gets offended and doesn't speak with you after paying on nth hangout) that 99%+ guys wouldn't act.
Oh yeah, I know. That's why I said (prefaced my example) it's different for everyone. I was just pointing out one extreme really--mainly because it's interesting. I have yet to run into the other extreme though (never met a guy that insisted on Dutch or insisted I pay) so it's hard to talk about that.
I always pay, no matter what. Even if the woman insists, I won't listen. Usually when the woman is being insistent, I'll get up to use the restroom and slip my credit card to the server. I'm an old fashioned guy and that's the way it's done.
I don't think many people get this. It doesn't even have to be discussed. It's about tradition and a man being able to take care of things. A woman can do this too if she wants.
When I was young and we would get together, My Grand Father would always pick up the tab. When I was a Teen my Dad or my Uncles would pick it up. They all made close to the same money, so they would do the "slip the Card to the waiter early in the night trick. Winner got to pay the bill.
So of course, as i became an adult and became successful it's my turn. And I love doing the "slip the card to the waiter trick" and beating out my Brother or cousins. Same thing when dating, I take care of it. Now if she made more than me, it may be different.
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. Winner got to pay the bill. 
