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I paid for my first date with my boyfriend who I have been with over 2 years now. Our next date I offered and he insisted, so I let him. We have been going "every other" ever since, or whoever feels like paying. I don't think either party was offended.
When I was dating in college, I always offered to pay, and if he insisted, I would let him. I think it's rude to go against someone who insists. I always tell them I appreciated the date and thanked them.
I don't see it as "tradition", but maybe it's the fact that I'm a 24 year old female.
I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with not wanting to feel like I owe someone. I have seen men on here complaining about women who "ghost" on them after a few dates that they paid for, feeling like the women "owe" them some sort of explanation. I think the woman out of decency should tell you she is no longer interested, but I also don't like feeling like I owe anyone a thing, especially someone new.
I'm more lax with the boyfriend now, obviously. He makes around 30k/year more than I do now, so if he wants to spring on something nice for us, I absolutely let him. I paid for more when he was an unemployed grad student. We just took care of each other.
I also don't want a man to think that paying for our dates is my standard for being "taken care of". There are better ways to find out. To me, dinner is a mutual meeting of the minds. Nobody should be at advantage.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,824,046 times
Reputation: 41403
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elained10
Mmmmmm........who said I was mad?
And FYI, I'm extremely independent however everyone likes to be treated sometimes. No one likes a cheap guy/women!!
So I am cheap because I'm not gonna turn down a woman who reaches for her wallet to pay for her share? Oh, that makes perfect sense in your little world.
So I am cheap because I'm not gonna turn down a woman who reaches for her wallet to pay for her share? Oh, that makes perfect sense in your little world.
I think you better read what I wrote and get off your high horse buddy! I did not say you were cheap!
Touche'. The first rule is 'The traditional roll only works if you can afford it'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elained10
I think it's sweet
When we go out for a family meal my dad or brother in law always pay the bill. Us females never pay because they won't let us. It's really nice and it makes you feel taken care of however on a date I'd like to take turns as romantic as it is for him to pay I'd hate him to feel used or u appreciated plus its nice for the guy to get little treats too
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,824,046 times
Reputation: 41403
Quote:
Originally Posted by NolitaAvenue
Personally, I'd be annoyed if the guy went to slip the card to the waiter behind my back. If you really do not want me to pay, just tell me, I won't insist like a crazy woman.
Just because I spent hours getting ready, does not mean the guy has to pay for anything.
He's not paying for my looks or my conversation skills.
Seeing him is enough.
Truthfully, if a guy were to pay every single time, I'd feel as though he's paying for my company.
What if the guy becomes broke? You stop seeing him? No.
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