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It emphasizes why we need our own space to do our own thing. Mod cut: rude.
So you are saying you wanna get some guys together and have some beers and then get in a fight because John called Steve a sissy ...however, you don't want women there to say, "Somebody's going to get hurt" or "You guys are so immature."
Relationships where you truly are each others' best friend tend to veer more in the "spend more time together" direction vs. relationships that don't have that same dynamic.
That's my husband and me. We don't have to push or fight or "work" to get time alone. We actually want to be together as much as we can. We enjoy each others company and would rather spend our free time together, rather than apart. Most of our enjoyed activites, we do them together. We don't really have many hobbies that we prefer to do with other people. I have a scrapbook thing I do, he plays World of Warcraft. We just do those in the home, separate rooms. Everything else we want to do together, not with other people. It's not as fun if we can't go with each other. So for us, there's no problem or issue. We don't have to seek out "space" away from each other to be able to do what we want.
This is an issue in my parents marriage, but the opposite. My dad wants to be in my mom's face 24/7 and never gives her the space she wants. She likes her alone time, or time with her friends. He demands to keep her on a short leash, heck he can't even stand to let her go shopping with me. It's annoying as hell. He calls her up griping, "When are you coming home? Are you coming home yet?"
My sister and her husband want to be in each others face 24/7 and do not like or believe in alone time, so I guess that works for them.
I am a woman and I have to have alone time. So telling me to give my man alone time and lecturing me about the need for it is absurd. I can't stand being around ANYONE all the time. Luckily, my husband understands this and does not act like my father. I can't stand that crap. My husband doesn't desire a lot of alone time, but his job and our schedule allows for us to not be around each other constantly so it gives us a healthy balance. We've never felt the need to get away from each other or give each other space because of that. My husband would rather hang out at home with me, or do stuff with me (we bike, hike, go to sporting events) then go out with guy friends all the time. But, I have no problem when he has his game time in the other room or goes to the movies with his father. I like it, because it gives me my time. I have to have my alone time or I go insane.
This is exactly what my dad did to my mom her entire life. They were married just short of 57 years when my dad passed away. In all those years my mom never had girlfriends to do things with, activities outside the home to enjoy and do but to her credit she never complained about it. Since he passed away though she has become more active in church, etc. and does quite a bit. She does day trips with her friends and has a good time. She enjoys shopping alone, or with me, without being 'bugged'. Growing up with my parents, and watching my mom devote her entire life to my dad, I decided what kind of wife I wanted to be but NOT one that wasn't allowed to have a life outside the home and friends.
My ex and I both understood one another's need for alone time. Some weekends, about once a month, I'd go visit my kids and family letting him have the house to himself. Sometimes he'd go on weekend hike/camping trips, with a friend or two or alone, and I'd get the house to myself. I actually spent half the year without him, every year for ten years. He was a firefighter with the USFS and gone most of the time. We both usually worked winters but sometimes we'd both take off and enjoy three or four months just hanging out and traveling. So we had our times of being apart and times of being together 24/7. In that respect we got along really well. Only problem with all of that was adjusting to him being gone and then readjusting to him being back and having to 'consult' him about things I just did/took care of when he was gone.
And may I recommend dating an introverted woman. She will want her space and alone time too.
She'll want him to spend all his time with her since she never goes anywhere. I've dated introverts, this is my reality as I'm struggling with one now.
Some individuals just can't see the importance of solitude, having time for introspection is crucial. No time alone = no time for me to think if I were really being a harda#$ to her in the last argument or if she had valid points.
She'll want him to spend all his time with her since she never goes anywhere. I've dated introverts, this is my reality as I'm struggling with one now.
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An introvert, by definition, recharges by being alone. It's necessary for well-being. An introvert who needs to spend all her time with someone isn't an introvert.
I need my space too, but some of you make it sound like you need 5 days alone a week!
Not a criticism. Just curious.
What's so outrageous about 5 days alone?? I work full time, maintain a house and a yard, and spend several nights a week at the gym. I would prefer to have my weekdays on MY schedule. That way I can be a bit more relaxed on the weekends.
It sounds like you had a hidden agenda rant behind your OP, since you're changing the subject. Maybe you should just start another thread. But by now it should be clear to you that you've grossly misunderstood women, and that you're wrong about your assumptions.
I'm not sure why you view this as a man-only thing, a lot of women need their own space too. It depends on the individuals. Not all of us see it as a negative when our guys goes out with friends. I know all kinds of couples, and most of them have stuff they do without the other.
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What's so outrageous about 5 days alone?? I work full time, maintain a house and a yard, and spend several nights a week at the gym. I would prefer to have my weekdays on MY schedule. That way I can be a bit more relaxed on the weekends.
My SO and I see each other once, maybe twice a week. It's usually a two-day thing if we see each other only once. (I pack up my pet and bring him over for play dates with my SO's pets. Win-win!) Sometimes it would be nice to see each other more, like if there's an event we'd like to attend together and he has to work. But we've always been a twice-a-week kind of couple. He has plenty of space, I have plenty of space, and honestly? That's why it works.
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