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A friend of mine racked up a chunk of change on a credit card. Her husband said he wasn't going to pay it. She went to a ligit and researched debt consolidation place - there are some that are non-profit. The first they asked her was, 'do you have any credit cards on you now?' She did and the lady sat right there and ran them through a heavy duty shredder with no warning. She was put on a specific amount payment plan. Different places have different criteria for the length of the loan and it worked and she was even issued a new credit card
The debt is minor, the staying home watching TV is a problem. Why can't she do some temp work, or a part time job, just something to keep money coming in?
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I’m living with my gf and she is just about to finish her master’sd egree in education, but there are a few problems. By the time she’s done, she’ll be about 35Kin debt (student loans + car payments), but has no job and minimal teaching prospects in the region we live in. Sure, she gets interviews for various lower-end districts for a variety of positions – leave replacement, permanent sub, ad hoc subbing, TA’s, and fullon teaching (rarely), but nothing more comes from it. Her last “full” time position was about 6 months of leave replacement at a district but they didn’t have the means tohire her back as a permanent sub for this coming school year. Herlast avenue for work was this tutoring job she used to do, but they don’t giveher any hours and when they did, they were 1-4 hour shifts at minimum wage, so maybe enough to pay a bill but that’s it. Although I think she shot herself in the foot when she told them shecouldn’t work weekends or nights – her reasoning was that it was because those would be the only times I’m home. I’m usually in the city for 12-13 hours a day – now more since I started mymasters.
So when all is said and done, she has this huge lump of debt and no real means right now to pay it off. She actually collects disability every few months because she has an autoimmune condition, but that’s chump change in the grand scheme of things. What I tried to tell is that she needs income and steadily. I know it’stough out there to find something, but surely it’s possible to find SOMETHING to lessen the damaging debt? It sure beats sitting at home all day watching Full House and Charmed. It’s a bad feeling coming home after a longday and she’s acting all lethargic.
I’m sure a few people would say to dump her and get it over with, but I can’t do that nor do I want to. It would be wrong to do it for that reason anyway – supposed I’m unemployed for a long time? I think shewould want to be there for me. This is really the only issue with the relationship and she’s a great person overall. But the fact is, without that income on her half, it makes me want to postpone getting married, kids, ahouse, etc. I think she’s personally waiting to win that “teaching lotto” that is, landing a full time position in ahigh rated district with track to tenure; but regardless, she needs steady income and needs it now no matter what it takes to get it. How can I knock some sense into her to just take whatever job she can?
Maybe it's the California in me, but $35k in student loans doesn't really sound that bad to me.
But it's worse if she seems unwilling to work anything other than her "dream" job. And even if she becomes a teacher or something as I seem to recall her wanting to be, it's not like she'll ever make a really good income likely..
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On Long Island, she certainly will make a lot of money if she gets a regular teaching job. It's an unusual situation, but it's true.
coulda, shoulda, woulda....who cares about maybes.."right now" is all anyone needs to understand someones motivation and ambition in life.
its just my philosophy on life speaking, but there is no way in hell i could stay interested in someone waiting around on a hopes and dreams like a magic fairy showing up to sprinkle its dust and take all the troubles away.
this sounds like a future sprinkled with disability and unemployment checks waiting to happen. the ingredients for it all all there.
i am all for chasing a dream, and doing whatever it take to achieve it...but this girl has NO back up plan (that we or the OP know of) if things fall through. she will literally be dependent on OTHERS to see her way through life if her teaching career does not pan out the way she needs it too and her current ambition level stays put
Last edited by rego00123; 08-30-2013 at 11:03 AM..
Hell no! lol....my sister could easily hook her up with a position in massachussets but she has told me countless times she never wants to leave long island (because family is there)
She's obviously not that smart either. My father always taught me to go where the money is...
regardless, she needs steady income and needs it now no matter what it takes to get it. How can I knock some sense into her to just take whatever job she can?
This is what he said, quoted from first post.
She's about to finish.
He didn't say she has years of grad school left.
He didn't say she's disabled and can't work.
Look, guys - read it again.
He also said she sits and watches TV. Read it again.
She's not in school 80 hours a week.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123
coulda, shoulda, woulda....who cares about maybes.."right now" is all anyone needs to understand someones motivation and ambition in life.
its just my philosophy on life speaking, but there is no way in hell i could stay interested in someone waiting around on a hopes and dreams like a magic fairy showing up to sprinkle its dust and take all the troubles away.
this sounds like a future sprinkled with disability and unemployment checks waiting to happen. the ingredients for it all all there.
i am all for chasing a dream, and doing whatever it take to achieve it...but this girl has NO back up plan (that we or the OP know of) if things fall through. she will literally be dependent on OTHERS to see her way through life if her teaching career does not pan out the way she needs it too and her current ambition level stays put
Agreed. No ambition, she should realize she needs to get her foot in the door somewhere and work her way up. Instead she is sitting on her butt making excuses. These days you have to get out there and make it happen, you can't sit around waiting for the opportunity to come to your door. Sounds like she refuses to accept that. She doesn't want to work for anything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragazza2011
She's obviously not that smart either. My father always taught me to go where the money is...
Exactly. More excuses, or just spoiled. Or, maybe she's hoping for a free ride if her dream job won't land in her lap.
I knew a guy years ago who was in the exact same boat as you, although his GF didn't have anywhere near $35K in debt. After getting her degree she was always looking for the "perfect" job while being happy sitting on the couch most of the day. He tried incrementally giving her incentives to work - he refused to take her to restaurants after a while, then he refused to give her gas money and made her start walking places, and so on. She just wanted to be married and be a housewife. That was her dream. He told her he wasn't interested in that kind of relationship, at least not for several years when they were more established.
Guess what?
She went off the pill without telling him and became pregnant on purpose.
I won't even bother telling you what happened after that.
Don't be that guy.
Unfortunately, his life scenario is now unfolding in similar fashion to your friend's. He's become that guy, unfortunately.
necro thread bump,
but $35K is not bad. I met one in my travels who disclosed she was more like $135K in debt.
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