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Well I don't think I can be 100% sure he's not cheating unless I follow and monitor everything he does. Were not together all the time and I dont see what he does on his phone. But I know that when were together that he treats me well and he's very affectionate.
Im aware that he's a bad communicator. When you try to communicate with him about anything he's becomes very defensive like its a battle. He doesnt yell or shout tho just his mood changes.
About referring to himself as single, I haven't heard him say that he is. I guess nobody asked maybe because when were together people automatically think were a couple because were comfortable and very affectionate with each other.
Are you absolutely sure he is working umpteen hours a week and is really talking to clients/coworkers when he's always on his phone?
I've had jobs where I did work that much and was glued to my phone because of it, but I also know people who just say they do when they're talking to other people. I am not a fan of this ambiguous let's pretend to be in a relationship but calling you my SO cramps my style BS. It's just leaving the door open, and if you really wanted to be with someone, why would you do that? At the very least, if he said it was going to take time to make a commitment and call you his GF, and he had to adjust, at least you'd know what was going through his head. I grow tired of circular talk and conflicting statements because in my experience it means you're being lied to. Making a concrete statement really isn't that hard.
When hes on the phone and Im with him..yes I am sure. He tells me what hes doing on his phone when were together if he needs to text a friend or respond to an email or pick up a call from work. Hes not being sneaky about it like walking away from me when he needs to do it. I even can see what hea writing ans a few times he lets me read some of them. But what Ive noticed he put his phone facing down so the screen is not visible when hes not using it.
About working so many hours, Ive been to his house a couple of times when he wasnt expecting me ( he gave me an ok to come to his place anytime) and I found him working, on the phone with someone from work or just got home from work showering. These were late hours like 8-9pm.
You don't even know if he considers himself single?
After all this time, you don't even know if he thinks of himself as your boyfriend?
I'm assuming like most women, one day you'll want to get married. You'll probably want a house together, children.
I don't think you'll get what you want from this man, I mean getting him to say you are his girlfriend is like pulling teeth.
It's been 8 months and he won't even really commit or admit you are his girlfriend.
You'll either just have to let it go, really get over it and just be content with going with the flow and accept that you may never be get what you want from him, or move on. From your posts, I don't see how you can really be happy with him long-term.
I also agree with this:
Im not sure if this will answer your question but one time he said to me that he was gonna take his "other gf" out. I said Im going out with my other bf then. Then he quickly said " Im going out with my niece". His niece is 6. I assume Im his gf and his niece is his other gf but I could be wrong.
Once I was referred as his gf and he did not correct it.
I asked him what should I tell my friends if they asked what are we and he said to tell them whatever I want.
I actually brought up this topic to him before and he denies it. He said that we could just spend time without sleeping together and he is fine with that. We did that. It was hard fior him bc he was having an erection everytime but he was able to take care of it with his hand lol. He did not stop seeing me. But it became too difficult for both of us that eventually we started sleeping together again.
Also, if hes only after that one thing I dont think a guy would lower his ego just to get a FWB back. . He was constantly convincing me to see him again after we broke up saying things like "Please see me again". I think guys would appreciate it more if a FWB walked away bc they dont have to make excuses about how to get rid of her. But Im not a guy so Im not sure what guys think about this.
Im not sure if this will answer your question but one time he said to me that he was gonna take his "other gf" out. I said Im going out with my other bf then. Then he quickly said " Im going out with my niece". His niece is 6. I assume Im his gf and his niece is his other gf but I could be wrong.
Once I was referred as his gf and he did not correct it.
I asked him what should I tell my friends if they asked what are we and he said to tell them whatever I want.
OK, well, then what's the problem?
You are sure he's not seeing anyone else, he has no problem with you saying he's your girlfriend. He says he loves you.
I am not seeing what the problem is?
Are you wanting some sort of grand gesture then? A "where is this going" talk? I don't get it!
OK, well, then what's the problem?
You are sure he's not seeing anyone else, he has no problem with you saying he's your girlfriend. He says he loves you.
I am not seeing what the problem is?
Are you wanting some sort of grand gesture then? A "where is this going" talk? I don't get it!
I dont understand why he cant give me a straight answer. Why not say " yes were in a relationship and you are my gf and im your bf" something like that. Is that asking too much? Why give me answers like you need to be more patient let it develop, call us whatever you want, I dont like labels. Or tell me Im not looking to be in a relationship or you are not the one I want to be with and we should move our separate ways. But when I say that maybe hes not ready to be in a relationship, he says its not true.
Last edited by Missnoname; 08-29-2013 at 06:07 PM..
Reason: Edit
I dont understand why he cant give me a straight answer. Why not say " yes were in a relationship and you are my gf and im your bf" something like that. Is that asking too much? Why give me answers like you need to be more patient let it develop, call us whatever you want, I dont like labels. Or tell me Im not looking to be in a relationship or you are not the one I want to be with and we should move our separate ways. But when I say that maybe hes not ready to be in a relationship, he says its not true.
If you go to the link that I sent you in my post, go to post number 39 from DR2012. I'm sorry, but I have to agree with this person. He doesn't want you to date anyone else while he's using you until something better comes along. You're not his girlfriend.
Missnoname, I wish you a lot of luck with your decision.
So when you guys got back together what did he say to convince you to try again with him?
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Im really sad. The guy Im dating and I had a talk and he said he doesn't want to put a label on "us".
It is time to move on.
When I guy says, "I don't want to put a label on us," what he means is, "I want to keep you around for sex until someone better comes along."
Sorry you were hurt.
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