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Absolutely.
Say the woman is pro choice the man is not, and she becomes pregnant. Unfortunately fathers have NO rights in this situation. Both should be on the same page.
I was reading another thread where some posters said it was a dealbreaker if their partner had different views than them on being pro-choice or pro-life. I was stunned because that should be like #400 on the list of things of partners you should be looking at. I would never dump an otherwise quality girl because her views on abortion is different. I don't care about the issue enough where her views on it matter.
Is your partners views on abortion important to you? Is it a dealbreaker if they have different views?
Note: Please DO NOT make this a thread about the merits or legality of abortion. Except if you are a moron. That's not what this thread is about. I don't want this thread to turn into a political pro choice or pro life thread. Just focus on how you would view a potential partner who had different views on abortion.
I think it's more about their personal, rather than ideological position. I.e. lots of people are pro-choice but would never do it themselves (numerous pro-choice women), or want their partner to demand it or do it against their will (numerous pro-choice men). Personal if political is a cite from mein kampf for those who don't know (but it rather refers to "life space"/lebensraum, opinion of superiority of germanic nations and "expansion towards east"/drang nach osten).
Many people consider lots of things as wrong but they won't demand laws that regulate it. It's called "politically liberal", at least in a number of European countries. And it doesn't stop them from being "personally conservative" with their own lives and habits. Hilary Clinton might be a great example among U.S. politicians.
I think you should know that the reason a woman might have objection is that the guy may want her to abort and she is against abortion, or to carry on the pregnancy and in a stage of life when she doesn't want it. The drama that could occur is enough for her not to proceed with relationship. Similar situation can happen in reverse scenario where a guy would want to proceed with the child but his girlfriend doesn't want, or where he would not want the child but the woman. In any of those situations you get a serious drama on its way. Lots of people will break up in case when they can't agree on whether to move together to another town, and (not) having a child is even bigger deal, definitely.
When you have people who think in advance and agree on crucial things in their personal lives, the whole drama generally won't happen. If you think that those "misunderstandings" don't happen often, look around yourself to see how many dramas happen on a regular basis when the two can't agree on anything. Lots of people ignore get to experience the drama first-hand: when pregnancy occurs.
Thinking and acting in advance is a wise thing for any individual and it is summed up in this post as an example:
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
Well, there are lots and lots of unplanned pregnancies that happen and it would be nice to know that my partner and I are on the same page. I don't think I could be with someone who is staunchly pro life because I'm not ready for children right now and if there was a mistake, there is a strong change I would choose to abort.
Last edited by nald; 09-01-2013 at 05:27 PM..
Reason: edited for adding example
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I'm neither 100% pro-life or pro choice so I don't think I could date a woman who was 100% either way. I think the circumstances need to be considered in any case.
I would never get involved with a forced birther. I funded an abortion in 1983 and I am not in any way ashamed of that, in fact, I'm proud I had the courage of my convictions, that I would not be a parent. My partner at the time did not want children. That changed 16 years later and we divorced. I didn't want kids, I don't want kids, I don't much like kids, and that's that.
I am strongly pro-choice, because I do not think anyone should be forced to carry a pregnancy to term. However, I can imagine few, if any, situations where I would choose to have an abortion. My husband is also pro-choice, but early on, it was important for him to know that I would not have an abortion if an unplanned pregnancy occurred. I agree that it is important for couples to discuss this issue early in the relationship and to be in agreement on it.
I would respect any woman's personal views on abortion for herself. In other words, whether or not she is personally okay with having one is totally her own business and none of mine.
If she believes that she or the government has the right to tell other women whether or not they can have one, however, then we're simply not going to be compatible as a couple. Reproductive freedom is a huge issue....Way the hell higher than #400, regardless of what the OP thinks it "should" be.
It's a deal breaker for me. For so many reasons. Mainly it has to do with the fact that I don't want kids. Although I am all about choice for everyone, I realize it does take the choice out of the man's hands. But, I also believe it's the woman's body/health that could be affected, so it should be her choice in the end.
With that said. When a man I'm with and I start talking about the what if's if I get pregnant, my answer used to be, "If I get pregnant, don't worry, you'll never know." Gotta admit, this pissed off a lot of men.
Thankfully, I decided to stop playing roulette with pregnancy, so I got permanently "fixed". Being pro-choice/pro-life is still a deal breaker with me because I want to be with a man who shares the same values as me (and by that, I mean 100% the same on this topic). This topic is very important to me because it shows me how you view "children" in general. I'd say it's within the top 20 deal breakers for myself.
It does not matter to me unless he's an extremest who attends rallies, etc.
I make my stance known, and if he takes issue with it, he knows where the door is.
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