I mean really...does sex early on really have any bearings.. (boyfriends, married)
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Without a doubt it has bearing on how the relationship proceeds, or doesn't.
Rarely do two people click so well that sex early on doesn't take the relationship south. It may last for some time, but anything long lasting has already been predetermined with a stigma (like it or not) that the other person is "easy", and not worth the time in the long run.
Maybe in your world, but not in mine. I've had ONS turn into multi-year relationships. Come to think of it, for every LTR, and even my marriage, we got to it within the first three or four dates. Once it drags out to a month, then I start wondering if the guy is a "non-operative."
Not for nothing, but I've also thrown a few guys back after getting busy once or twice early on and deciding that they turned me off. There have also been a few times when I did wait a month or so and when it finally happened, thought, "Not worth the wait."
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Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006
However, I wouldn't recommend sleeping with a guy on a first date unless you as a woman have a lot to offer a guy. But, if the guy reeeeeeaaaaallly likes you, sex on first date isnt a dealbreaker, but you better be awesome enough for him to want to stick around.
No "buts" about it, to my thinking. If he reeeeeeaaaaalllly likes you, he already thinks you're awesome.
I love being in my 40s. This kind of thing just isn't much of a problem beyond one's early 20s--or shouldn't be.
The only time I slept with someone early on, we were eventually engaged. With my other partners, the timing varied, as did the strength of the relationships.
There really is no set rule. If you want to have sex, have sex. Make sure you're protected and stop over-thinking it.
For all the guys that say that if you sleep with a guy that you don't care about right away and make a guy that you do care about wait - then you are punishing the guys that you do care about - well, tough luck guys. It's called taking care of yourself.
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Originally Posted by le roi
that's funny!
"tough luck, guys!"
in reality , only a complete loser is going to knowingly put up with that from women. Whether he puts up with that or not is in and of itself a test of his character.
for that reason, it isn't exactly "tough luck guys." If you want quality men you have to consider how men operate.
The only way a man will ever know how fast you slept with someone else is if he is nosy enough to ask you questions about it--which are none of his damn business--and you are dumb enough to answer; you live in some backwoods, inbred, small town where people have nothing better to do with their time than kiss and tell; or you were foolish enough to sleep with half of his buddies. Other than that, he'll never know.
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Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid
It's okay if a man takes care of himself too right?
...Somehow, I don't think many women would see that as acceptable, but then again, neither do some men...
Not sure what you mean by taking care of himself, but I see no problem with adults of either gender running their lovelives as they see fit. If a man doesn't want to wait as long as a woman, he is free to move on to find someone more compatible. If a woman doesn't want to wait as long as a man, so is she.
It's okay if a man takes care of himself too right?
...Somehow, I don't think many women would see that as acceptable, but then again, neither do some men...
Of course it's okay. I think everyone should take care of themselves. I don't think anyone should do anything they don't want to do. And everyone views sex differently. It's just that I see a couple of my friends that think they are so into casual sex - but they really aren't. They continually hop into bed with men that they really like and think it's going to lead to something. Then they are devastated when it doesn't.
Oh - and by waiting - I don't mean 6 months or any set time period. I just mean until you are ready. It's going to be different for different situations. In my 3 major relationships, I ended up waiting a bit - but there were extenuating circumstances in each case that made it a better idea to wait.
in reality , only a desperate loser is going to knowingly put up with that from women. Whether he puts up with that or not is in and of itself a test of his character, so good luck screening out all the high-self-esteem men. LOL.
for that reason, it isn't exactly "tough luck guys." If you want quality men you must cater to what quality men prefer. If you just want a warm body to do your bidding, then sure, your POV works fine.
In reality, quality men want a quality woman. And a quality woman knows herself and takes care of herself. I'd say that only the desperate losers care about how quickly a woman has had sex with other men in the past. A confident man isn't going to pry into every last detail about a woman's sexual past.
When dating, some guys will harp on how important a woman's character and virtue are to them, and yet they push for intimacy prematurely in the dating relationship....hypocrite much?
Agreed. Hiding it, not being fully forthright and open with your partner, is probably how most women would deal with such inconsistency of behavior.
Do you ask for a sex log from every woman you date - including dates, times, and locations that she has had sex in the past? Do you offer up yours in return?
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