U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-04-2013, 05:16 PM
 
7,453 posts, read 8,709,839 times
Reputation: 4676

Advertisements

spent close to a month chatting to a girl on a dating website before finally meeting her for a date last weekend , we had coffee , then extended our date to a bar until finally having a walk along the pier , she held my hand and when I said I hoped it wouldn't be our last date , she said she didn't think it would

thing is , she ruled out a date this weekend due to family stuff , she only communicates via text between dates and so I asked her via text if she wanted to see me again , she said she would like to meet again but wasn't sure what she wants going forward

heres the thing , I told her via text " I like her " and that I would like to get to know her better , I think I probabley came across like a total wuss and even I didn't , it was probably far too soon to say such a thing , I guess I thought it might help in securing another date

she also ruled out a date next weekend as she has a 5 mile run and cannot go out Friday night , shes into sport in a big way , im thinking I should just end it now , I made the mistake of spooking this girl by declaring that I like her so she probably thinks im too keen and that's nearly always the wrong way to get a woman to like you
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-04-2013, 05:19 PM
 
457 posts, read 520,989 times
Reputation: 318
Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
spent close to a month chatting to a girl on a dating website before finally meeting her for a date last weekend , we had coffee , then extended our date to a bar until finally having a walk along the pier , she held my hand and when I said I hoped it wouldn't be our last date , she said she didn't think it would

thing is , she ruled out a date this weekend due to family stuff , she only communicates via text between dates and so I asked her via text if she wanted to see me again , she said she would like to meet again but wasn't sure what she wants going forward

heres the thing , I told her via text " I like her " and that I would like to get to know her better , I think I probabley came across like a total wuss and even I didn't , it was probably far too soon to say such a thing , I guess I thought it might help in securing another date

she also ruled out a date next weekend as she has a 5 mile run and cannot go out Friday night , shes into sport in a big way , im thinking I should just end it now , I made the mistake of spooking this girl my declaring that I like her so she probably thinks im too keen and that's nearly always the wrong way to get a woman to like you
If she thought it was too soon to say you liked her, she's probably not the right fit for you or most other people anyway. A month after talking to someone and going on a date or two, you should at least be able to express an interest to get to know her better. If you said you thought you were in love with her, then that is different, but like is a milder adjective that should not freak a woman out.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2013, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,109 posts, read 28,051,734 times
Reputation: 16297
Quote:
Originally Posted by ngroh View Post
If she thought it was too soon to say you liked her, she's probably not the right fit for you or most other people anyway. A month after talking to someone and going on a date or two, you should at least be able to express an interest to get to know her better. If you said you thought you were in love with her, then that is different, but like is a milder adjective that should not freak a woman out.
This.

If she's into you, telling her you like her will make her happy, not push her away.

The guy I'm seeing told me he liked me at the end of our first date. A few weeks later he mentioned to a friend we were out to lunch with that I 'had him' by the middle of that date. I was extremely flattered and not scared off at all. If I didn't like him, I probably would have felt weird about it.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2013, 05:27 PM
 
Location: Alaska
5,356 posts, read 17,151,222 times
Reputation: 4048
I think it's too soon to break it off. You're allowed to like someone after one meeting. If you had said love, then you likely scared her off. At this point, everything is new and it could take some time for her to work you into her schedule. You have to work around her prior commitments. Give her time to make time for you.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2013, 05:33 PM
 
7,453 posts, read 8,709,839 times
Reputation: 4676
Quote:
Originally Posted by ngroh View Post
If she thought it was too soon to say you liked her, she's probably not the right fit for you or most other people anyway. A month after talking to someone and going on a date or two, you should at least be able to express an interest to get to know her better. If you said you thought you were in love with her, then that is different, but like is a milder adjective that should not freak a woman out.
im not in love with her at all , I just like her , she has a very interesting and different job , shes not a stunner but has a beautifull face which is all I care about when it comes to women

she mentioned how she only got back into dating during our date and stopped short of mentioning what I presume was previous perhaps troubled relationship , this might explain her line " I don't know what I want going forward "


her dad is ill in hospital and she lives an hour from where we met last week and 90 mins from where I live but im thinking a girl who was into me , wouldn't put back another date for two full weeks if she was all that interested
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2013, 05:34 PM
 
6,978 posts, read 4,882,262 times
Reputation: 5155
Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
spent close to a month chatting to a girl on a dating website before finally meeting her for a date last weekend , we had coffee , then extended our date to a bar until finally having a walk along the pier , she held my hand and when I said I hoped it wouldn't be our last date , she said she didn't think it would

thing is , she ruled out a date this weekend due to family stuff , she only communicates via text between dates and so I asked her via text if she wanted to see me again , she said she would like to meet again but wasn't sure what she wants going forward

heres the thing , I told her via text " I like her " and that I would like to get to know her better , I think I probabley came across like a total wuss and even I didn't , it was probably far too soon to say such a thing , I guess I thought it might help in securing another date

she also ruled out a date next weekend as she has a 5 mile run and cannot go out Friday night , shes into sport in a big way , im thinking I should just end it now , I made the mistake of spooking this girl by declaring that I like her so she probably thinks im too keen and that's nearly always the wrong way to get a woman to like you
The key is to play it cool. Your first mistake was saying that you hoped it wouldnt be your last date. At that point, you needed to act confident and just know for sure you would see her again instead of kind of acting like you werent sure if she liked you or not.

Instead of saying "i like you" you needed to just say "i had fun, lets get together again soon"
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2013, 05:37 PM
 
7,453 posts, read 8,709,839 times
Reputation: 4676
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
This.

If she's into you, telling her you like her will make her happy, not push her away.

The guy I'm seeing told me he liked me at the end of our first date. A few weeks later he mentioned to a friend we were out to lunch with that I 'had him' by the middle of that date. I was extremely flattered and not scared off at all. If I didn't like him, I probably would have felt weird about it.

one of those player type websites I read said you should never get mushy with women , play it cool - alpha , im fine with being alpha when it comes to work and most aspects of my life but I cant do that with women without looking like a jack ass , I don't play the door mat but i definatley compliment them and pull out their chair etc , I told this girl last weekend while we were in the bar that " it was an an agreeable way to spend a Saturday , nice bar and the company of a beautifull lady , she told me I was embarrassing her , probabley came across like a chump
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2013, 05:40 PM
 
208 posts, read 318,687 times
Reputation: 96
Five minutes.....

I'm all over them.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2013, 05:41 PM
 
6,978 posts, read 4,882,262 times
Reputation: 5155
Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
one of those player type websites I read said you should never get mushy with women , play it cool - alpha , im fine with being alpha when it comes to work and most aspects of my life but I cant do that with women without looking like a jack ass , I don't play the door mat but i definatley compliment them and pull out their chair etc , I told this girl last weekend while we were in the bar that " it was an an agreeable way to spend a Saturday , nice bar and the company of a beautifull lady , she told me I was embarrassing her , probabley came across like a chump
The key is to ACT (whether its an act or not) that you are a man who has options and you're a man who's busy. Women like to know that a man can get other women and that that man is CHOOSING them as opposed to a man who's acting as if "this better work out because i dont know when my next date might be"
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2013, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,109 posts, read 28,051,734 times
Reputation: 16297
Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
one of those player type websites I read said you should never get mushy with women , play it cool - alpha , im fine with being alpha when it comes to work and most aspects of my life but I cant do that with women without looking like a jack ass , I don't play the door mat but i definatley compliment them and pull out their chair etc , I told this girl last weekend while we were in the bar that " it was an an agreeable way to spend a Saturday , nice bar and the company of a beautifull lady , she told me I was embarrassing her , probabley came across like a chump
Then that woman obviously wasn't for you.

I HATE the macho/player/alpha type guy...and I like a guy who can actually come right out and tell me how he feels.

Like I said, the guy I'm seeing came right out and told me he liked me during our first date...considering it was an online date, it was also the first time we'd ever met. I LIKED that he was comfortable with himself and his emotions that he just came right out and said how he felt. I assume that if a guy is ambiguous or tries to play it cool that he's not interested in me. Oh, and he texted me within an hour of our date ending to make sure I got home alright and texted me the next afternoon just to say hello and see how my day went. I didn't think it was too forward at all.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top