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I'm a 27 year-old virgin, never dated, never been kissed, never so much as asked out a girl. I have no real friends, and no social life.
I do have the following: a college degree, a steady job in my field that pays decent, my own apartment, some savings, and...that's about it.
I was bullied a lot growing up, and was often told by my parents that I was not good enough. I remember going to the park to learn how to ride my bike (I was about five or so). Anyway, I kept falling down, as children sometimes do when they learn to ride a bike. My father, who had taken me to the park, became irate after one of my falls. He took my bike, threw it, and started yelling at me, and telling me that I was worthless and that I shouldn't have been born. Here's another example: when I was a senior in high school, I mentioned to my mom that I was planning to ask a girl out to prom. My mother looked at me and said "Why would she want to date you?", and left it at that. Long story short, I never asked that girl out. She stopped speaking to me shortly thereafter. I've never had the courage to ask out another girl.
Despite all this I have flourished in other areas. I excelled in school, have a very good employment history. I don't consider myself a loser when it comes to my professional life. But I can't form friendships because I assume I'll not only be rejected, but humiliated. I feel completely empty. My job isn't a huge source of stress in my life, but it brings me little fulfillment. When coworkers ask me to go out and grab a drink after work, I always make up a plausible excuse and turn them down. I always end up going home to my apartment, fixing dinner, and, on some nights, going to the gym. That, and running errands, makes up my social life. I never go out on the weekends, because I don't see the point. I feel like a shell of a human. The few people who know about this have given the advice of just bucking up and smiling more. Yeah, you can meet that way, sure. But what about getting to know someone?
So, I put the question to the women here: if you met a guy who lived on his own, supported himself, but had absolutely no dating history or any sexual past, would you run away, thinking the guy was a freak? That he was irreparably damaged? That's what I fear will happen. I can't imagine anyone understanding me or accepting me, at least to the point that they would want any sort of romantic relationship with me.
Your parents were horribly abusive to you...I think you should get some counseling to process that and learn how to have strong boundaries with them ( are you still in contact with them or did you cut ties?)....try to socialize and build a little support system with a couple friends who are there for you before you start dating.
It would probably be based on whether you were able to approach them. Even if they're willing to go out with you, you have to overcome your social anxieties and make a move. Probably the first thing to do is try to make male friends, which is easier to do since you're not sexually focused on them. Once you can do that, then move up to trying to meet women. Good luck!
I wouldn't go out with you as you are. What strikes me about you is that you are focusing on all your negatives while only briefly touching on your positives. What are your positives? I can see some but you don't and that's the key to it all.
Rather than asking whether someone would go out with you if you happened to maybe meet them by staying locked up in your home, ask yourself what your positives are. And what can you do to make yourself more interesting? and how to meet others. You don't go out looking to meet the one and only woman, you get out and do things for a several reasons among them to meet PEOPLE. Often you meet the "one" because it's a friend of a friend/acquaintance or you meet in a class or doing volunteer work or .....
I wouldn't go out with you as you are. What strikes me about you is that you are focusing on all your negatives while only briefly touching on your positives. What are your positives? I can see some but you don't and that's the key to it all.
And also you have to have positives that are going to be attractive to people in general and women in particular. I've never heard anyone say, "well, he's kind of quiet and boring, but his employment history is spectacular."
And also you have to have positives that are going to be attractive to people in general and women in particular. I've never heard anyone say, "well, he's kind of quiet and boring, but his employment history is spectacular."
That's why women end up with bad boys that treat them like dirt.
That's why women end up with bad boys that treat them like dirt.
Because just having a job should be an attractive enough quality in a person? Like being nice, gainful employment is a bare minimum for being a functioning adult. It's not exactly a panty dropper.
I can't form friendships because I assume I'll not only be rejected, but humiliated. I feel completely empty. My job isn't a huge source of stress in my life, but it brings me little fulfillment. When coworkers ask me to go out and grab a drink after work, I always make up a plausible excuse and turn them down. I always end up going home to my apartment, fixing dinner, and, on some nights, going to the gym. That, and running errands, makes up my social life. I never go out on the weekends, because I don't see the point. I feel like a shell of a human. The few people who know about this have given the advice of just bucking up and smiling more. Yeah, you can meet that way, sure. But what about getting to know someone?
This part would concern me more than your dating history. You have no social life and reject other people's attempts to include you in theirs. How are you going to meet someone and foster a relationship with her? Is having a girlfriend going to make you want to go out on the weekends, or do you imagine your dating life will entail sitting in your apartment?
Because just having a job should be an attractive enough quality in a person? Like being nice, gainful employment is a bare minimum for being a functioning adult. It's not exactly a panty dropper.
I didn't say it was a "panty dropper," nor do I mean that you should date this particular guy. However, you described a person who is stable with a good job but who you disregard because they're "boring." Women constantly say things like that. "'Nice' means 'boring.'" OK, but "boring" means "staying with you instead of being out at clubs hitting on women." You don't want that and that's your choice, but then don't come back and complain about some exciting dude who is cheating on you, as so many women do.
I'm a 27 year-old virgin, never dated, never been kissed, never so much as asked out a girl. I have no real friends, and no social life.
I do have the following: a college degree, a steady job in my field that pays decent, my own apartment, some savings, and...that's about it.
I was bullied a lot growing up, and was often told by my parents that I was not good enough. I remember going to the park to learn how to ride my bike (I was about five or so). Anyway, I kept falling down, as children sometimes do when they learn to ride a bike. My father, who had taken me to the park, became irate after one of my falls. He took my bike, threw it, and started yelling at me, and telling me that I was worthless and that I shouldn't have been born. Here's another example: when I was a senior in high school, I mentioned to my mom that I was planning to ask a girl out to prom. My mother looked at me and said "Why would she want to date you?", and left it at that. Long story short, I never asked that girl out. She stopped speaking to me shortly thereafter. I've never had the courage to ask out another girl.
Despite all this I have flourished in other areas. I excelled in school, have a very good employment history. I don't consider myself a loser when it comes to my professional life. But I can't form friendships because I assume I'll not only be rejected, but humiliated. I feel completely empty. My job isn't a huge source of stress in my life, but it brings me little fulfillment. When coworkers ask me to go out and grab a drink after work, I always make up a plausible excuse and turn them down. I always end up going home to my apartment, fixing dinner, and, on some nights, going to the gym. That, and running errands, makes up my social life. I never go out on the weekends, because I don't see the point. I feel like a shell of a human. The few people who know about this have given the advice of just bucking up and smiling more. Yeah, you can meet that way, sure. But what about getting to know someone?
So, I put the question to the women here: if you met a guy who lived on his own, supported himself, but had absolutely no dating history or any sexual past, would you run away, thinking the guy was a freak? That he was irreparably damaged? That's what I fear will happen. I can't imagine anyone understanding me or accepting me, at least to the point that they would want any sort of romantic relationship with me.
I wouldn't date you but I think their are plenty of women who would
considering what you went through for a very long time and from a young age , I consider you a success , troubled upbringing often makes its extremely difficult to achieve success with the opposite sex
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but I think their are plenty of women who would
