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If he freaks out just because you have a child, he is just a flake and you probably don't need that in your life. Better to find out sooner than later I guess.
At first I was concerned with he aspect of being rejected for the first time because of being a mom. But now I'm not as worried about him rejecting me once he finds out, I'm more worried about how awkward the scenario is no matter what the outcome is. Unless he gets that promotion I'm going to see him everyday and if he rejects me for being a mom yes it's going to be awkward to see each other, on the other hand even if he was still interested in dating me because of how awkward the situation is I'm now starting to feel weird and second guessing the idea of even dating him. I don't see how two incredibly shy people will have a relationship if neither of them has the courage to talk face to face. And I can just see getting drinks with him being this really uncomfortable situation where we are silent and both acting nervous and it's just seems like it isn't a good idea anymore. I know it's wrong but I was hoping that since he was the man that he would start the face to face interaction and I would play along but it seems like I might have to and I'm too nervous too now so the whole thing is an epic fail lol
Yes...in my opinion...any guy that ask a lady out on a date...and then turns to a flake just because she has a child...is nothing more than just that. A flake.
Then that also holds true for women who won't date single fathers, right?
At first I was concerned with he aspect of being rejected for the first time because of being a mom. But now I'm not as worried about him rejecting me once he finds out, I'm more worried about how awkward the scenario is no matter what the outcome is.
What's awkward? You asked him out and he says no ...and then you can never pass each other in the halls again? It may be embarrassing for like a week, but after that it'll be no big deal.
I already accepted the invite when he asked me on Friday... so is it too late to amend and say that I need to find a sitter first(even though its a lie since my son does have a sitter)?
I was not suggesting you "amend" the invitation I was asking YOU:
Why did you not tell him "before" you accepted the invtation that you had to ensure you had someone to care for your son.
See the difference?
Anyway, I still think you should keep romance and your personal life out of the office and quit making this particular situation so dramatic and complicated.
If you two cannot even say hello in the office environment passing each other in the hall how in the world do you think you are going to have an actual conversation while having drinks?
Uh, no. You NEVER bring up the fact that he's shy. That's causing pressure on him to "act normal." You literally just act like whatever he's doing is TOTALLY NORMAL. If he walks past you, then you don't bring it up. What you do is you approach him and then start a conversation. NOT about him being shy or ignoring you. The more you draw attention to him not talking, the worse it will get. NEVER point out that he's not talking.
ok I didn't know this. I have never dated a shy guy but what u say makes sense because I was like him with another guy I had dated last year--I would be ballsy in text messages but in person I would not be able to talk to him and he kept confronting me about it and it made me feel even more nervous!
I guess the only reason I confronted him about it, was because he called me on it first asking why I won't talk to him and will I start talking to him now that he's made contact with me. And I was just like "ummm why would I have just randomly chatted up with a guy I did not know n why was he expecting me to talk to him the last couple of months when we did not know each other. He confronted me so I guess that's why I confronted him.
I also did not think about it in the way you presented it, I was trying to tease him and flirt but maybe it put more pressure on him?
At this point do u guys even think its possible for two shy people to have a normal dating situation. We both are too scared to talk to each other in person.
I was not suggesting you "amend" the invitation I was asking YOU:
Why did you not tell him "before" you accepted the invtation that you had to ensure you had someone to care for your son.
See the difference?
Anyway, I still think you should keep romance and your personal life out of the office and quit making this particular situation so dramatic and complicated.
If you two cannot even say hello in the office environment passing each other in the hall how in the world do you think you are going to have an actual conversation while having drinks?
I didnt mention it because my son had a sitter for Friday evening already booked(I usually hit the gym after work and the sitter watches him while i work out but i was going to skip it to go to happy hour with the guy so it never crossed my mind to mention securing a sitter since I already had one.
And your last sentence is exactly why I realize its not a good idea anymore lol. I don't know what to do on Monday. I want to pretend like the whole interaction never happened but at the same time I am attracted to him and I do have a slight crush. Gah.
I was like him with another guy I had dated last year--I would be ballsy in text messages but in person I would not be able to talk to him and he kept confronting me about it and it made me feel even more nervous!
Right, so you know how it makes him feel. Act accordingly.
Oh, if you're both shy, then it's going to be difficult. But if you want it to work, then you have to be the one who pushes for it. I mean, if you don't then all that will happen is he'll just message you every so often and nothing will happen. So either you force yourself to be less shy in order to break the ice or it's over.
What's awkward? You asked him out and he says no ...and then you can never pass each other in the halls again? It may be embarrassing for like a week, but after that it'll be no big deal.
He already asked me out, so why would I ask him out again?
but your right I guess it would only be awkward for a week if he rejected me because I was a mom. I guess I also don't want to be rejected(even if it was for a completely different reason). I mean who wants to be rejected? It would hurt.
This is why I try to avoid dating its just too much for me. I think I'm too sensitive and analytical. Should I just pretend like we never had a conversation when i come to work on Monday and just not go to happy hour ? it would be easy to avoid it. As long as I don't log in on instant messages he won't send me a message and I know he won't come over to me since he's too nervous.
Do you think that's wrong to do? I would honestly rather avoid the situation altogether then to a) be rejected or b) have an uncomfortable date because we're both to shy to say or do anything.
but your right I guess it would only be awkward for a week if he rejected me because I was a mom. I guess I also don't want to be rejected(even if it was for a completely different reason). I mean who wants to be rejected? It would hurt.
If you take no chances, you get no dates. Also, you have an advantage. It's not like he's going to tell anyone he turned you down.
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