Having an affair with friend's boyfriend (girls, loving, older, advice)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And as for the person who called her a gold digger - your comprehension skills need improvement. He is unemployed and she's been supporting him for years.
Oh, so you want us to buy that he's eccentric, unemployed, and she finds him disgusting but she wants to have a child with him and support him financially? Good luck with that one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by altVirginia
And seems like the standard stereotypes apply - I'm the bad person.
I didn't say you were the bad person. I said you're ALL bad people. Seriously. You all deserve each other.
1.) trusting him enough to still be with him
2.) trusting you as her neighbor
3.) allowing him in her house
I feel so BAD for her on so many levels.
Your feeling as though what you thought "was" something that's not what's cracked out to be..
Take this as a learning lesson and possibly karma.
A guy who's willing to cheat on his woman and be with you, probably doesn't care or respect people or their property, in general, and you unfortunately, deserve what you got.
I am a 47 year old woman who recently became good friends with my neighbor (female).
She is living with her boyfriend - they have been together for three years.
There was a mutual attraction between he (the boyfriend) and I fairly quickly. He is eccentric. She works in a high paying job and he has not really worked throughout their relationship. In conversations with her, she has been fairly up front with me that she does not ever have sex with him, has told him point blank that he disgusts her and she doesn't respect him. But, she seems to want to have a child with him. She has also told me that she has no intention of staying with him after having a child (how they're going to do that without having sex, not sure).
He came over one night while she was out at my invitation and spilled the beans about everything going on in their relationship. We ended up having sex that night. It has now intesified and he will often come over for sex, but it seems to be changing into something else. Yes, I like him very much and I've tried several times cutting it off but then weaken.
Just in the last few weeks, he often seeks out my company, sometimes we just talk, sometimes sex or both. He's hard to read and I've often gotten very frustrated when it's clear that it's simply sex, but again I'm sensing a real shift in his feelings.
1 He texts me throughout the day.
2. He is obviously thrilled with the sex he's getting.
3. He has started doing me favors, will bring me lunch. I work from home and I can tell that he often doesn't want to leave when he does come over.
4. He's said things about not wanting to hurt his girlfriend, but she told me point blank that she knows she's not giving him sex and that she'd be ok with an open relationship.
5. He's started calling me "doll", tell me I'm beautiful.
6. Out of desperation to turn this around I lied and told him that I was going on a date. He was very curious about it. After sex he has said "see if your new guy can do that"
Kind of get the picture? Anyhow, this has been kept stricly in the bedroom but last night we went out for a drink together. Which was nice, but he took me to a bar where his ex-girlfriend works (she is now married) This ex-girlfriend is also sort of a friend of his girlfriend as well. She seem totally unfazed that he still spends time around her. ALSO, and this is where I'm so confused...he let me know at some point during the evening that he'd told this ex-girlfriend about our affair. I was mad at him for doing that, but didn't say anything at the time. Didn't think it was his place to say something to a person who knew both of them quite well. Didn't ask any questions about "how did she respond", etc, but it threw me.
That was last night and while normally we text all day - I have gotten one word, two word texts from him.
Also, because our communication was so limited today I didn't want to ask him why he'd told her (the ex girlfriend) so I'm still wondering. He is also what I would say is a Narcissist. Did he want to show me off to her? He insisted on going to the bar where his ex girlfriend works.
It just doesn't fit neatly into the booty call/emotional affair/homewrecker category.
Has anyone gone through anything like this? Open to any thoughts, comments, questions.
Why must we have the mindset to be white knights for people that are in terrible relationships, and have no way out? Your neighbor's boyfriend stays with her, because his options are bleak. Point blank and simple. He knows that she will support him, and that's a small price to pay to not lift a finger and support himself.
For you, you are his scapegoat. He confides in you, because he's getting the best of both worlds. He's emotionally taking a dump on you, and getting sex from you, but surprisingly he just can't seem to cut those apron strings from his girlfriend.
As I see it, the neighbor and her boyfriend are using each other. She's using him for a child, and once she has that child, he's likely yesterdays news. He's using her for a place to stay. He's using you, because you can fix his sexual needs, and bringing you lunch is a small price to pay for that.
In the end, the only person that is "winning" is the boyfriend. He's getting his needs met from two different people. Whether it's right or wrong, doesn't matter here nor there. My advice for you OP is to end the affair with him and hope that it never comes to surface with his girlfriend. It will not end well for you, because he will likely play the victim and pin everything back on you. Going forward, try not to put yourself in these compromising positions again.
Technically, you can't say that without seeing pictures of the women.
True. I'm just stating his needs being met, nothing focusing on physical attributes. Even if they were dimes or trolls, it doesn't matter, because he's still going to go for what HE wants. Nothing else matters.
enjoy eventually being tossed aside when he finally wrangles you in to shacking up with him (probably after his GF finds out about you guys). other than that im not sure what the question here even was.
you get from life what you give, enjoy!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
