Real life Dating codewords/phrases and their actual meanings

[NilaJones]

Originally Posted by dragon_fly_12

"What are you looking for?" = I want to hook up, do you?

Oh, really?! I thought they really wanted to know!

[Raena77]

Really that's interesting. -Omg will she just shut up and give me her # so later we can bang.

[cyberphonics]

Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut

"Sure we can be friends" = only on Facebook

"Yeah, maybe we'll do that next weekend" = Lame, I hope you forget all about it by next week.

Hehehe

[MountainGuy74]

"We need to talk" = "I'm going to give you some unpleasant news"

"I'm a real outdoors and nature oriented person" = "I don't bathe or shave much"

"I'm a christian" = "Don't even think about anything remotely freaky in bed with me"

"I like clubbing" = "I like to drink a lot and go to clubs so guys can buy me drinks"

"I'm going to school full time" ="I have no real income so you are going to have to pay for everything"

"I am a free spirit"= " I have tattoos and piercings over most of my body and my hair color changes weekly"

"I'm a laid back kind of person"= "I'm unemployed"

"I use public transportation/bike"= "I have no car or license and have no desire to ever get one"

"You're kinda cute" = "Although I don't find you that attractive I may sleep with you if I have enough to drink"

"I have really strong family values" = "I get easily offended by everything"

"I have a few cats" = " I have problems keeping relationships going so I'm already prepared to be the cat lady"

" I love the Twilight series!" = "I'm a friggin idiot"

"I'm looking for a successful and educated person"= "Looking for someone with money"

"I'm looking for a height and weight proportionate person" = " No fat people please"

"I'm looking for a very open minded person" = "I'm looking for someone willing to do something super kinky"

"Are you on MySpace?" = "I'm an alien from another planet and trying to pass off as human using outdated info"

" I have commitment issues" = "I cheat on everyone"

"I'm republican"= "I'm pretty much a racist but will never come out and admit it"

"I'm a strict vegan" = "I'm a royal pain in the butt to ever take out to dinner because of my picky diet"

"Would you like a massage?" = "Can I massage you for about 5 minutes before I attempt to boink you?"

"You smell good" = "I'm creepy and will sniff your underwear while you sleep"

" I drive a Prius" = "I am most likely a homosexual"

"I only use and purchase Apple products" = "I'm pretentious"

[Prince_Frog]

I am a laid back person, but I'm employed.

"You're a really nice guy." I have no/lost interest in you.

"We're just friends!" Ain't nothin' gonna happen here, except me talking about girl stuff and guys to you, and you listening.

[Raena77]

Originally Posted by MountainGuy74

"We need to talk" = "I'm going to give you some unpleasant news"

"I'm a real outdoors and nature oriented person" = "I don't bathe or shave much"

"I'm a christian" = "Don't even think about anything remotely freaky in bed with me"

"I like clubbing" = "I like to drink a lot and go to clubs so guys can buy me drinks"

"I'm going to school full time" ="I have no real income so you are going to have to pay for everything"

"I am a free spirit"= " I have tattoos and piercings over most of my body and my hair color changes weekly"

"I'm a laid back kind of person"= "I'm unemployed"

"I use public transportation/bike"= "I have no car or license and have no desire to ever get one"

"You're kinda cute" = "Although I don't find you that attractive I may sleep with you if I have enough to drink"

"I have really strong family values" = "I get easily offended by everything"

"I have a few cats" = " I have problems keeping relationships going so I'm already prepared to be the cat lady"

" I love the Twilight series!" = "I'm a friggin idiot"

"I'm looking for a successful and educated person"= "Looking for someone with money"

"I'm looking for a height and weight proportionate person" = " No fat people please"

"I'm looking for a very open minded person" = "I'm looking for someone willing to do something super kinky"

"Are you on MySpace?" = "I'm an alien from another planet and trying to pass off as human using outdated info"

" I have commitment issues" = "I cheat on everyone"

"I'm republican"= "I'm pretty much a racist but will never come out and admit it"

"I'm a strict vegan" = "I'm a royal pain in the butt to ever take out to dinner because of my picky diet"

"Would you like a massage?" = "Can I massage you for about 5 minutes before I attempt to boink you?"

"You smell good" = "I'm creepy and will sniff your underwear while you sleep"

" I drive a Prius" = "I am most likely a homosexual"

"I only use and purchase Apple products" = "I'm pretentious"

I'm cracking up @The Myspace one.

[intelfan11315]

Why does everyone always make the "unemployed" reference to people who say they're laid back?

[NilaJones]

Originally Posted by burgler09

Why does everyone always make the "unemployed" reference to people who say they're laid back?

To me, it means pot dealer. That's a job! And s/he can probably collect unemployment at the same time .

[Prince_Frog]

Originally Posted by NilaJones

To me, it means pot dealer. That's a job! And s/he can probably collect unemployment at the same time .

So i'm going to keep punching holes in that by saying that I'm laid back, employed, and haven't done any illegal drugs in my entire life, including smoking cigs.

Worst I do is have a beer about once a week, or a mixed drink. Literally 1 of either.

[intelfan11315]

Originally Posted by NilaJones

To me, it means pot dealer. That's a job! And s/he can probably collect unemployment at the same time .

I'm confused. Is this supposed to be a joke thread or serious?

Is that seriously what you think of a laid back person?