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He seemed so wonderful at first. Intelligent, charming, seemed like a college professor type. My friends even called him the professor. Like a dummy I did overlook a few things. . .
Then the facade came down with a crash and I realized that he was nothing of what he pretended to be and I was sickened by what I saw--he was a complete scoundrel. I never wanted to see him again and figured it wouldn't be a problem b/c we live 1-1/2 hours apart. Guess again. When we were dating, I introduced him to my dance group and while he seemed to enjoy himself somewhat, he sat out half the dances and didn't always appear to be comfortable around my friends. So guess who's coming to all the dances now?
The first time he showed up he went around talking to everyone and every time I looked up they'd be sitting there staring at me intently as he talked. I was furious and let him have it but of course he showed up again this last time with 3 women in tow. I refuse to give up my favorite activity (and I work really hard and this is my only chance to unwind) and I realize I can't make him stop going but man I'd like to say something that would sting him to the core but I think he's got a personality disorder. I also think he's going b/c he sees it as a prime opp to pick up women--he messaged half the women in the group looking for a date after I dumped him and some of them were over 30 years younger! I am just mortified that I ever fell for this man and need suggestions. What would you do? Oh yeah, this is the man who swore undying love and was ready to get married. TG I'm not that dumb.
He seemed so wonderful at first. Intelligent, charming, seemed like a college professor type. My friends even called him the professor. Like a dummy I did overlook a few things. . .
Then the facade came down with a crash and I realized that he was nothing of what he pretended to be and I was sickened by what I saw--he was a complete scoundrel. I never wanted to see him again and figured it wouldn't be a problem b/c we live 1-1/2 hours apart. Guess again. When we were dating, I introduced him to my dance group and while he seemed to enjoy himself somewhat, he sat out half the dances and didn't always appear to be comfortable around my friends. So guess who's coming to all the dances now?
The first time he showed up he went around talking to everyone and every time I looked up they'd be sitting there staring at me intently as he talked. I was furious and let him have it but of course he showed up again this last time with 3 women in tow. I refuse to give up my favorite activity (and I work really hard and this is my only chance to unwind) and I realize I can't make him stop going but man I'd like to say something that would sting him to the core but I think he's got a personality disorder. I also think he's going b/c he sees it as a prime opp to pick up women--he messaged half the women in the group looking for a date after I dumped him and some of them were over 30 years younger! I am just mortified that I ever fell for this man and need suggestions. What would you do? Oh yeah, this is the man who swore undying love and was ready to get married. TG I'm not that dumb.
Hmmm...???
You'd think I could come up with something but I have just drawn a blank.
His true colors will shine through and other ladies will see it.
Whatever you do, keep your cool and don't let him get to you. He will stop coming eventually.
Just ignore him. He doesn't sound like the type with whom you can reason.
Let him continue to make a fool of himself at the dance group. Eventually everyone there will he him for who he is, and avoid him. Then he'll stop coming.
I had the opposite reaction to the others. You need to do some damage control. If you know some of the women he was bad-mouthing you to, ask them what he said, and tell them of your experience. It sounds like women there need to be warned about him, anyway. But if you don't know them well, then it could backfire.
I had the opposite reaction to the others. You need to do some damage control. If you know some of the women he was bad-mouthing you to, ask them what he said, and tell them of your experience. It sounds like women there need to be warned about him, anyway. But if you don't know them well, then it could backfire.
Yes that is tricky b/c I just moved down here from St Louis and I knew all those people well and these people not so well, though I kind of knew them from before, if that makes sense? We travel back and forth a lot is the best way to explain it I think. He lives closer to here than to there so he goes to the dances here, though it's still over an hour drive for him. This is a folk dance group--not trashy or pick-up oriented at all, as some dance halls can be, so he's making a total azz out of himself, and me by association. It's just so embarrassing to think I ever dated anyone that . . . uncouth. When I come to him in a dance line, I simply cannot look at him or touch him, which makes for awkward moments and some mess ups and maybe that's immature but I just can't do it. Otherwise I have fun with the group and no one has shut me out yet. One woman did tell me that he told her he just doesn't understand what went wrong. Well that's a lie b/c I told him exactly what the problem was and none of them were subtle little things like he looked at me funny. Suggested I'm grotesquely obese (I'm pudgy), sent below the belt drunken texts when I was trying to watch a movie with my daughter, and being a bum is just for starts.
And Davros, yes, I do think ASPD or something near, like he has components of that, NPD, and BPD but none of this was obvious until the end. We were to go on a European vacation together and the man showed up with no money and one credit card (Discover), and it was obvious that he expected me to pay his way--I dumped him off and went on by myself and he looked like I was abandoning a baby and claimed I tricked him into going. Yep, purely nuts. And now he's trying to date all my friends. Ugh.
If they're your friends, you should be able to talk to them about him. Then let them tell their friends, etc.
Well my StL friends are aware of what's going on and they talk to the other group. Yes it will get out but I'm concerned that he's so impervious to social control that he won't notice or care. Still, gotta try right? After all, if he can't get laid he'll give up. Supposedly used to be a Clinical Psychologist. Scary. Yes, I guess this will blow over--they all know me a lot better than they do him.
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TG I'm not that dumb.
Yep, purely nuts. And now he's trying to date all my friends. Ugh.
