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My husband is no longer friends with the female mentioned in this post.
What is mentioned in this post happened when 1) we were dating, 2) after we became engaged, and 3) after we got married.
First some background information:
My husband and his ex female friend lived at the same complex. She met him through a male friend of his. The male friend was interested in dating her. At some point during their relationship there were problems that she wanted my husband *who was my boyfriend at the time* to help her with as well as other personal problems. She is schizophrenic, autistic, hypoglycemic, and she has developmental problems... emotionally and intellectually. He did tell her that he only wanted to be friends with her. The relationship between her and his male friend was rocky.
When we were dating:
I did meet her after we started dating.
She would spend most of her free time alone with him either at his place or at her place
She would have him over alone at her place for lunch or dinner
She would have him over at her place to listen to music
She would watch movies alone with him either at his place or at her place
She would leave her personal belongings at his place
She would text him and call him... A LOT... To the point that it irritated both of us
She would text him and/or call him when she knew I was spending time with him at his place
It got to the point that he would have to distance himself from her. He would tell her that he needed space. But... that did not improve anything. Her behavior continued. She also wanted to be my friend.
After we got engaged:
My boyfriend told her that he wanted to marry me. We became engaged last November. I did let him know that her behavior had to stop. He took more steps to curb her behavior.
But.... She continued the same behavior while we were dating. It got to the point that I had to send her an e-mail telling her to stop her behavior. She insisted that the two of them were only friends.
My fiance told me that she gave him a dirty look when he told her that we became engaged.
At this point he chose to end their friendship.
After we got married:
My husband told me that she gave him a dirty look when she saw the wedding ring on his finger. She still wanted to be friends with me. My husband and I decided against that.
Even though they are no longer friends, what would possess someone to act like that?
My husband is no longer friends with the female mentioned in this post.
What is mentioned in this post happened when 1) we were dating, 2) after we became engaged, and 3) after we got married.
First some background information:
My husband and his ex female friend lived at the same complex. She met him through a male friend of his. The male friend was interested in dating her. At some point during their relationship there were problems that she wanted my husband *who was my boyfriend at the time* to help her with as well as other personal problems. She is schizophrenic, autistic, hypoglycemic, and she has developmental problems... emotionally and intellectually. He did tell her that he only wanted to be friends with her. The relationship between her and his male friend was rocky.
When we were dating:
I did meet her after we started dating.
She would spend most of her free time alone with him either at his place or at her place
She would have him over alone at her place for lunch or dinner
She would have him over at her place to listen to music
She would watch movies alone with him either at his place or at her place
She would leave her personal belongings at his place
She would text him and call him... A LOT... To the point that it irritated both of us
She would text him and/or call him when she knew I was spending time with him at his place
It got to the point that he would have to distance himself from her. He would tell her that he needed space. But... that did not improve anything. Her behavior continued. She also wanted to be my friend.
After we got engaged:
My boyfriend told her that he wanted to marry me. We became engaged last November. I did let him know that her behavior had to stop. He took more steps to curb her behavior.
But.... She continued the same behavior while we were dating. It got to the point that I had to send her an e-mail telling her to stop her behavior. She insisted that the two of them were only friends.
My fiance told me that she gave him a dirty look when he told her that we became engaged.
At this point he chose to end their friendship.
After we got married:
My husband told me that she gave him a dirty look when she saw the wedding ring on his finger. She still wanted to be friends with me. My husband and I decided against that.
Even though they are no longer friends, what would possess someone to act like that?
I think you should stop worrying about this girl. He chose you to be his wife, don't worry about her anymore.
While we were dating, my boyfriend told me that the female friend told him that she was waiting for him to raise the white flag so the two of them could date eachother. He did not know how to respond. He did not know what to make of her request. So he said nothing.
While we were dating, my boyfriend told me that the female friend told him that she was waiting for him to raise the white flag so the two of them could date eachother. He did not know how to respond. He did not know what to make of her request. So he said nothing.
But... her behavior continued.
As long as your husband is not encouraging her behavior, I say stop worrying about her.
While we were dating, my boyfriend told me that the female friend told him that she was waiting for him to raise the white flag so the two of them could date eachother. He did not know how to respond. He did not know what to make of her request. So he said nothing.
But... her behavior continued.
Uh, OK. It didn't cross his mind to simply say no? He did know what she was requesting, right? No response does not automatically indicate interests, but it does indicate a possibility.
He did tell her that he only wanted to be friends with her. The relationship between her and his male friend was rocky.
A person only says they "want to only be friends" if there was some indication of something otherwise. I mean how often do you respond to a request for help with Ok, only as friends? Yup, only if you are questioning their motives based on past experience with the individual.
I suppose he witnessed her going to another male aquaintance for help, only to see her hit on him. If that was the case, he knew he was entering onto dangerous ground prior to accepting her plea.
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05
When we were dating:
I did meet her after we started dating.
She would spend most of her free time alone with him either at his place or at her place She would have him over alone at her place for lunch or dinner She would have him over at her place to listen to music She would watch movies alone with him either at his place or at her place
All of this could have taken place under the terms of friendship, but, keep in mind your now husband was a willing participant in all of this. If he knew she was mental, he sure was fueling her fire.
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05
She would leave her personal belongings at his place
She would text him and call him... A LOT... To the point that it irritated both of us
She would text him and/or call him when she knew I was spending time with him at his place
If I was in your position, I would question if why he was really annoyed with all her calls and texts, especially since they were coming in while you two were hanging out. It's an easy out....and possible denial.
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05
My husband told me that she gave him a dirty look when she saw the wedding ring on his finger. She still wanted to be friends with me. My husband and I decided against that.
Even though they are no longer friends, what would possess someone to act like that?
While her actions could stem from her being totally mental, it sounds to me, based on what you wrote, that your husband was as much to blame for this as she was. I mean, he was having lunch with her and watching movies alone with her, right?
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Something I forgot to include in my original post
