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My boyfriend and I have been together about 6 years. Last year out of nowhere he announced he wanted to take a break. He said that we should not sleep with anyone else during the break or be physical. I was really confused as to why he wanted to do this because things seemed to be good between us.
Last month he answers a text to someone else and sent it to me by mistake. It said "I enjoy having sex with you but I feel slimey afterwards." Of course I call him right away and ask who he was texting. He said someone forwarded that to him and he was forwading it to someone else (BS!). After 20 minutes of arguing he came clean. He said he met this girl a year ago when we were on our break and she had been contacting him a lot lately and he was letting her down gently. Of course I am distraught over this! First of all, he wasn't supposed to be physical with anyone during the break. 2nd, I have no idea if this girl is actually someone he dated a year ago during our break or someone he just met. I asked for her name but he refuses to tell me who she is. I have no idea what to do! All I do know now is I DO NOT trust him but after 6 years it's hard to just walk away. Can someone help me out?
Well...
Cheated on you (a break = I want to sleep with someone else but keep you on reserve ) - STRIKE ONE.
Maintained contact with the other woman (and judging by the text, he has slept with regularly) - STRIKE TWO.
Lied to you about the whole thing - STRIKE THREE.
And since this isn't baseball, refuses to be completely honest with you - STRIKE FOUR.
My boyfriend and I have been together about 6 years. Last year out of nowhere he announced he wanted to take a break. He said that we should not sleep with anyone else during the break or be physical. I was really confused as to why he wanted to do this because things seemed to be good between us.
Last month he answers a text to someone else and sent it to me by mistake. It said "I enjoy having sex with you but I feel slimey afterwards." Of course I call him right away and ask who he was texting. He said someone forwarded that to him and he was forwading it to someone else (BS!). After 20 minutes of arguing he came clean. He said he met this girl a year ago when we were on our break and she had been contacting him a lot lately and he was letting her down gently. Of course I am distraught over this! First of all, he wasn't supposed to be physical with anyone during the break. 2nd, I have no idea if this girl is actually someone he dated a year ago during our break or someone he just met. I asked for her name but he refuses to tell me who she is. I have no idea what to do! All I do know now is I DO NOT trust him but after 6 years it's hard to just walk away. Can someone help me out?
Take a break? What does that even mean?
"We're going our separate ways for a while? I don't think I want to be with you anymore, but I'm not sure? I'm sick of you? I need to re-evaluate, so I don't want to see you, but you shouldn't sleep with anybody else?"
Who does that?
You're either a couple or you're not. You could break up, but then all bets are off as to who sleeps with who.
Cheated on you (a break = I want to sleep with someone else but keep you on reserve ) - STRIKE ONE.
Maintained contact with the other woman (and judging by the text, he has slept with regularly) - STRIKE TWO.
Lied to you about the whole thing - STRIKE THREE.
And since this isn't baseball, refuses to be completely honest with you - STRIKE FOUR.
[the end]
This sums it up. Plus, he was dishonest about setting up the whole "break" scenario in the first place, saying neither of you was to get physical with anyone, while planning all the while to have an affair (if he wasn't in one already, before he invented the "break" concept).
This guy's a jerk. You're lucky you found out before you might have ended up married to him. He obviously takes you for a gullible fool. Walk.
I agree with others that you should dump him. He agreed to not sleep with anyone while on a break and he lied about that until now.
It was silly to go on a break with such a rule anyways. The entire point of a break is to be unattached for a little while to figure out what you really want.
If you have to ask then the next guy is going to play u like monopoly too. Six years, and he hasn't asked the question? Unless he's not religious you're getting taken for a ride.
Thanks everyone for your advice! I've read all the comments and I agree It's just sad to think that after six years this is the outcome?! It's even harder to think the person you put so much faith and trust in isn't the person you thought they were. Like someone said, at least this is just a break up and not a divorce :/
Sure I can help you out. Dump his dumb ass and move on. Or take him back and keep dealing with his bullshyte. FFS!
This!
This is a no brainer, dear. Dump him.
You will find someone else, just remember that.
I'm sorry you're going through this, it must be painful.
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It's just sad to think that after six years this is the outcome?! It's even harder to think the person you put so much faith and trust in isn't the person you thought they were. Like someone said, at least this is just a break up and not a divorce :/
