what is it about chivalry? (people, best, perspective, school)
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Let's take one of the examples that was brought up earlier in this thread: dropping the woman off at the front door and parking the car. Why should the woman not drop ME off at the front door of the restaurant? Why is it ok for me to risk a twisted ankle in an icy parking lot, but not her? Why is my twisted ankle not as big of a deal as hers, all things being equal? The response so far has been, "its just the considerate thing to do for her." So is it inconsiderate, then, that a woman has never done this for me? What is the rational explanation?
Like stopping and helping an unknown woman on the side of the highway who has a flat tire. I don't do it.
Not surprising. And Braunwyn mentioned helping a woman with a child who was stuck in a blizzard. PAY ATTENTION.
Me? I was out there in last February's blizzard digging out a couple of guys who got stuck on the corner, and then digging a path for my SO to pull into the driveway as he had to work. I was in snow up to my thighs, and dang near broke my neck stepping off the porch because I couldn't tell where the cement ended, the snow was so high, but it was actually a lot of fun and a great workout, the guys appreciated the help, and my SO appreciated being able to get into his driveway.
A pity you will never know the joy of helping someone that way.
Let's take one of the examples that was brought up earlier in this thread: dropping the woman off at the front door and parking the car. Why should the woman not drop ME off at the front door of the restaurant? Why is it ok for me to risk a twisted ankle in an icy parking lot, but not her? Why is my twisted ankle not as big of a deal as hers, all things being equal? The response so far has been, "its just the considerate thing to do for her." So is it inconsiderate, then, that a woman has never done this for me? What is the rational explanation?
If you're wearing spiky heals then that may be the best choice. It depends on how much of a delicate flower you are. Not being a delicate flower myself generally, I have never been dropped off unless I was carrying stuff in or except when I was pregnant. When I was pregnant my husband was practically carrying me from the door to my car every morning down our icy path. I did not carry his non-pregnant self.
Repped. You kick a**. Gender relations wouldn't be such a mess if more women acted like you.
We do. We just don't talk about it.
Look, I know there are princesses in this world. I'm the first one to ride a royal arse when they come on here because I can't stand that helpless Rapunzel-in-the-tower crap. I really can't. I get annoyed when I see situations like this, where women just stand around instead of getting in there and helping:
I might have been crying (OMG! Emotion!), and I may have struggled physically to pull or push a dolphin back out into the water, but I'd have done it. That's just the kind of "Oh, sh*t that person/critter needs help, throw caution to the wind" kind of idiot I am.
BUT I am also capable of receiving the little niceties, like a coat held out or a door opened. Why? Because someone is being nice to me. I also know the joy of giving. I'm not about to deny that from someone who wants to experience it. A man is not going to do what a man does not want to do, so if he's holding a door open for me, I'll thank him with a big smile and walk on through, because apparently he wants to do it. And if it's a double door, I'll open the next one for him.
I'm not surprised you don't do it. I do and take no issue with being chivalrous.
If you're wearing spiky heals then that may be the best choice. It depends on how much of a delicate flower you are. Not being a delicate flower myself generally, I have never been dropped off unless I was carrying stuff in or except when I was pregnant. When I was pregnant my husband was practically carrying me from the door to my car every morning down our icy path. I did not carry his non-pregnant self.
BZZZT, wrong! I said ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL, nobody's pregnant, nobody's wearing heels. Why are your ankles more valuable than mine in the age of equality? Why can't I resent my date for not dropping me off at the door? This is why you've failed this argument from the first post. Women expect to be treated as men in the boardroom, but revert to their default position of "weakness" in social situations. Sorry, I believe in true equality, its a shame that.most of the females on this board do not.
BZZZT, wrong! I said ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL, nobody's pregnant, nobody's wearing heels. Why are your ankles more valuable than mine in the age of equality? Why can't I resent my date for not dropping me off at the door? This is why you've failed this argument from the first post. Women expect to be treated as men in the boardroom, but revert to their default position of "weakness" in social situations. Sorry, I believe in true equality, its a shame that.most of the females on this board do not.
Why are you assuming every woman is like that?
This is what I don't get. How do you know that strong women in powerful positions somehow resort to positions of weakness? I don't. None of my friends do.
You can resent not being dropped off at the door. But if your date gets mugged between where she parks the car and the venue because it's a schlep, guess you're taking a cab home.
And not for nothing, but in my experience, it's not even a matter of doing the woman a favor if she is wearing heels, or of her dress or hair if the weather is windy, rainy, and nasty, although there is certainly that. Half the time it's so one of us can put our names in for a table or claim a reservation. If the guy is driving, that would be me by default.
BZZZT, wrong! I said ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL, nobody's pregnant, nobody's wearing heels. Why are your ankles more valuable than mine in the age of equality? Why can't I resent my date for not dropping me off at the door?
Do you let your date drive, or do you do the driving? Whoever drives would choose whether to do the drop-off or not. Usually the guys insist on driving, so how can they be in the position of being dropped off??
Personally, I've never heard of this drop-her-off-at-the-door thing. Is that mainly for bad weather? I'd rather walk to the door with the guy than have to stand around alone inside the door, waiting for him to catch up with me after parking the car.
many of the posts on this thread seem to express if you post something negative about any woman u have posted something negative about all women. i am careful with my wording but that seems to be the reaction even by the best.
i think chivary should be practiced with ladies who act like ladies taking advantage of men or inconsiderate behavior is not ladylike. it too often happens with those we hardly know.
many of the posts on this thread seem to express if you post something negative about any woman u have posted something negative about all women. i am careful with my wording but that seems to be the reaction even by the best.
i think chivary should be practiced with ladies who act like ladies taking advantage of men or inconsiderate behavior is not ladylike. it too often happens with those we hardly know.
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I've noticed that too. If you say something critical about women then you must "hate women" or "don't have a women" or "you had bad upbringing" blah, blah, blah. The only difference is I'm not going to bite my tongue or be "careful with my wording".
many of the posts on this thread seem to express if you post something negative about any woman u have posted something negative about all women. i am careful with my wording but that seems to be the reaction even by the best. i think chivary should be practiced with ladies who act like ladies taking advantage of men or inconsiderate behavior is not ladylike. it too often happens with those we hardly know.
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I agree. What I don't agree with is that you shouldn't practice chivalry because women can vote now so screw them!
I would hope that most people enjoy being courteous and giving to others - but I know that this is not true for everyone.
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I've noticed that too. If you say something critical about women then you must "hate women" or "don't have a women" or "you had bad upbringing" blah, blah, blah. The only difference is I'm not going to bite my tongue or be "careful with my wording".