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Other than being in the right place at the right time, I don't know what else to say. Just make sure you are working on becoming the best you that you could be.
I myself may have met my girlfriend at the library.
I WISH a guy would flirt with me at the library. I'd be all over that.
OP, a little word of advice from someone who's had the ups and downs of dating as well, take a break. I have somewhat eased back into online dating in the last few days. You are just going to get rejected online and in real life, that's just a fact. It's all in how you handle it. I was chatting with a woman for a few weeks that knew how to say the right kind of compliments to me, but in the end she kept putting off us meeting. I had to make a judgement call and my call was to tell her that I wanted more than just texting. I'll tell you the most frustrating thing was that she was 37 and heavily relied on just texting. In the end, she could have been married, had a boyfriend, or just been nervous about meeting someone online. After 3 or so weeks, I was wanting to transition to talking on the phone or meeting. She kept being flaky, so I got my answer and bailed. I didn't really have anything invested and during that time I was still chatting with other women. When one falls off you just put another one on. Until I meet someone and it can become exclusive, I will have to juggle conversation with more than just one woman.
I have chatted with women who seem to be really into me, but for some reason they never come through and I will slowly learn to be more accepting of that. Getting mad and frustrated is only going to push people away. I know how hard and frustrating it is to be rejected, but like they said when it works, do you even care about all the prior rejections? Rejections hurts us, becuase you don't know if the next one is going to be a keeper or another rejection. When you are looking at your past history and you have more rejections than keepers, you automatically set yourself up for rejection.
I think your problem is that you have ran out of rejection reserves. You can't stand another rejection, because you are emotionally drained and need to build your rejection reserves back up. Everyone goes through that phase. I took a good 8-10 weeks off and built mine back up. I was being steadily rejected for about 9 months, but I did meet one lady that we hung out and talked pretty reguarly for about 6 weeks.
Dating is not fun for you right now, so taking a break is your best interest. Right now you're trying too hard to prove to the next woman that you're a good catch. You're subconsciously putting too much pressure on them and they can sense it. Just like we can sense a desperate woman, they can sense a desperate man. I've been that desperate man before, so I know how I was. Bring it down a notch and just casually chat about something that interest you. If she turns it down, then she's just not interested in what you're interested in and that's ok.
Set up some boundaries. You may have too many casual women in your life and not having one or two women that you both feel could have potential with each other. I've had many casual relationships in my life and once I got serious about dating this year, many of those casual relationships just faded away. I liked having them at a point and time in my life; however, they were holding me back from serious commitment. My casual relationships were more focused on sleeping together than actual friendships, so you likely have more real female friends than I do.
When I'm dating, I like to have a feeling that of the women I'm talking to, one of them has some potential to be more than friends. I can only gather that information by gauging how our communication goes and how we are with face to face communication. If we don't have the romantic spark, depending on how we feel about each other, we will continue to be friends or we will just stop talking. You just need to find what's most comfortable for you and focus on that.
I WISH a guy would flirt with me at the library. I'd be all over that.
LMAO! The whole time I was reading this thread I kept thinking what about the library...a place the OP could strike up a conversation with a cute girl about which book to choose or maybe suggest one to her. Totally casual and non-threatening.
Oh, great. This is what single women love (NOT!): married guys who don't wear a ring, but still engage in flirtatious behavior.
I don't flirt. I may start though.
Quote:
How does your wife feel about that?
I don't care. I stopped caring when she stopped wearing her ring, when she moved out of the bedroom, and when she - in front of the kids - talks about all the things she's going to do and be when she's a "sexy older mama." Her own mother remarked during one of these stupid rants that she didn't seem to include me in her discussions of her future.
From my college days until now. Then I was looking intently, now I am not.
But I have spent lots of time at establishments alone for more than two decades. No interest from women.
And before you ask, I would welcome interest from women. I have not had any affairs or encounters but would not turn them away.
So you won't get a divorce because you don't want to lose full custody of your kids...but you will cheat on your wife and risk getting caught, losing their respect, and getting taken to the cleaners for infidelity?
OK.
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