Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Lots of time spent together, but not doing datelike stuff. Not going out to eat or to a movie. I only did that (dinner and a movie) once in my life, before I was 35, and that was with a guy who was from elsewhere. It was a novel experience for me.
Nila, where the heck did you grow up at? Dating rules! At least in my mind. Neat little ethic restaurants, trips to the Fair, movies, Jazz bars, dancing, walks on the beach are all really good stuff. With out that it's just really fantastic mind blowing sex and eating at home.
People meet and fall in love by hanging out with their social group, and doing group activities. Or by living in a shared household, where they interact every day. There may not be structured dates, but just time spent cooking together, listening to music, watching videos on the couch at night, going to the beach as a group, that sort of thing.
Ok, then I guess my answer to the OP is no, I did not grow up in that kind of culture.
Initially it was hanging out with groups of friends or at school, but the guy always would call and set up a date. If you really clicked, then you went on LOTS of dates until one day you realized that you'd been dating a year.
You had to have balls to mate in the dark ages of the 1980s. Go up to them in person or actually call someone on the phone and ASK them. None of this random texting bullcrap.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,067,254 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun
Nila, where the heck did you grow up at? Dating rules! At least in my mind. Neat little ethic restaurants, trips to the Fair, movies, Jazz bars, dancing, walks on the beach are all really good stuff. With out that it's just really fantastic mind blowing sex and eating at home.
Agreed. Dating is excellent. The asking, the planning, the build up, the actual date... it is one long foreplay session.
Nila, where the heck did you grow up at? Dating rules! At least in my mind. Neat little ethic restaurants, trips to the Fair, movies, Jazz bars, dancing, walks on the beach are all really good stuff. With out that it's just really fantastic mind blowing sex and eating at home.
You are allowed to do those things with friends, and girlfriends, and by yourself . You just don't have to delay sex with the gf until after you have done them.
And the whole anticipation, arousal, 'does s/he like me?', one-long-foreplay still goes on, in cultures without dating. It just happens in different ways.
I feel like it's that way for SOME African Americans. Disclaimer, I'm black. I just disregard those guys. I personally like to go out and do things when I'm seeing someone. I don't know how it's possible to date someone just sitting at home. I like to travel and explore new places, so I'd be bored.
Well, in my "group hang-out" experience, if a couple did form within the group, at some point they might spontaneously decide to go see a movie or to, like somebody said, an ethnic restaurant. A little departure from the group. So that could be called a date, though not strictly in the classic sense of calling the woman, setting it up in advance, going to her place to pick her up (nobody had cars in a shaky economy, anyway), etc. And there often was no reason to ask a woman for her number, if she already lived in the same household as you! Or if she came over to join your group of friends every day.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,067,254 times
Reputation: 40635
Sounds like groups of people in college that hook up within their groups and a 20something extension of such situations within tribes / mini communities.
You are allowed to do those things with friends, and girlfriends, and by yourself . You just don't have to delay sex with the gf until after you have done them.
.
So in these mystical cultures where you just end up having sex after hanging out for X amount of time, how do they get from "hanging out" to The Sex?
Tons of young men on this forum would love to know that.
You are allowed to do those things with friends, and girlfriends, and by yourself . You just don't have to delay sex with the gf until after you have done them.
And the whole anticipation, arousal, 'does s/he like me?', one-long-foreplay still goes on, in cultures without dating. It just happens in different ways.
I am trying to comprehend your point of view. So are you simply never asked out on dates? Did you ever date in high school or college? Even in group date situations couples will break off from the group to have alone time. How did you bond with your partner in previous relationships without alone time?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,067,254 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
So in these mystical cultures where you just end up having sex after hanging out for X amount of time, how do they get from "hanging out" to The Sex?
Tons of young men on this forum would love to know that.
Oh, it happens all the time if you hang out with people enough. You're having fun, feel comfortable with that person, so you have sex. Some wine doesn't hurt, at least the first time.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
. With out that it's just really fantastic mind blowing sex and eating at home.
