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I figured it out in my twenties. I had a great looking friend whom women threw themselves at and ignored me. Thus he had "it" and I didn't. Still don't. No cop out just simple observational skills.
That was nothing to do with luck. You just said you friend is "great looking" meaning I sense some insecurity there. If you always went out with your friend feeling insecure then women most likely picked up on any lack of confidence. Your friend isn't lucky, he simply knows how to approach women. I took you just lack confidence but are afraid to admit it, so you blame luck. You'll never get anywhere if you continue with that mindset.
That was nothing to do with luck. You just said you friend is "great looking" meaning I sense some insecurity there. If you always went out with your friend feeling insecure then women most likely picked up on any lack of confidence. Your friend isn't lucky, he simply knows how to approach women. I took you just lack confidence but are afraid to admit it, so you blame luck. You'll never get anywhere if you continue with that mindset.
I guess you missed "they threw themselves at him" he didn't need to approach. They ignored me. The message was loud and clear.
I figured it out in my twenties. I had a great looking friend whom women threw themselves at and ignored me. Thus he had "it" and I didn't. Still don't. No cop out just simple observational skills.
Oh, so you have been speaking about luckily winning the genetic lottery, being born so good looking everything falls into place. fact is, only a tiny sliver of the population hit that jackpot. The rest of us have to work at attracting a mate. suck it up and soldier on, same as the rest of us average folk.
You have no problem with making female friends but you can't get to the next level. You're doing something wrong and you need to figure out what that is, but it has nothing to do with luck.
That's pretty much what I said in the first post you replied to.
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Are you coming across as desperate?
I don't know.
Not sure if it relates more to being desperate or too nice, but I've been told by friends that I seem somewhat aloof in social settings, sometimes. Maybe I'm not desperate or nice enough?
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Too nice perhaps?
I'm generally a nice guy, I guess I should work on being less nice?
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Do you take care of yourself appearance wise?
I have a job in an office, so I dress "business-casual" during the week. (over the last couple years, while spending my spare time working on the house restoration, I've been lax with the iron, though) On weekends, I switch from khakis to jeans.
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Do you come across as creepy?
Probably, in situations where I'm particularly uncomfortable; like at large gatherings with lots of people I don't know.
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Could it be that you lack the confidence to take some of the friendships with women you like to the next level?
Isn't this something that both parties have to agree to?
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I could go on as there are a ton of other reasons, but it's not luck.
I still say it's luck, because I could quit my job, sell my house, and move to a larger city where I'd have access to a larger group of women, increasing the odds that one of them would be interested in a romantic relationship.
I guess you missed "they threw themselves at him" he didn't need to approach. They ignored me. The message was loud and clear.
If your friend is more attractive than you that still has nothing to do with luck. You're the one obviously not getting the huge loud and clear message despite pages and pages of the same nonsense. Keep with that thought process but don't expect to meet women with that negative mindset.
Oh, so you have been speaking about luckily winning the genetic lottery, being born so good looking everything falls into place. fact is, only a tiny sliver of the population hit that jackpot. The rest of us have to work at attracting a mate. suck it up and soldier on, same as the rest of us average folk.
As I already stated the message from the women was loud and clear. I do not go where I am not wanted. Period. Spare me your chastising and patronising attitude.
If your friend is more attractive than you that still has nothing to do with luck. You're the one obviously not getting the huge loud and clear message despite pages and pages of the same nonsense. Keep with that thought process but don't expect to meet women with that negative mindset.
As I already stated the message from the women was loud and clear. I do not go where I am not wanted. Period. Spare me your chastising and patronising attitude.
That's pretty much what I said in the first post you replied to.
I don't know.
Not sure if it relates more to being desperate or too nice, but I've been told by friends that I seem somewhat aloof in social settings, sometimes. Maybe I'm not desperate or nice enough?
I'm generally a nice guy, I guess I should work on being less nice?
I have a job in an office, so I dress "business-casual" during the week. (over the last couple years, while spending my spare time working on the house restoration, I've been lax with the iron, though) On weekends, I switch from khakis to jeans.
Probably, in situations where I'm particularly uncomfortable; like at large gatherings with lots of people I don't know.
Isn't this something that both parties have to agree to?
I still say it's luck, because I could quit my job, sell my house, and move to a larger city where I'd have access to a larger group of women, increasing the odds that one of them would be interested in a romantic relationship.
My first replies to you were more along the nature of defending people with anxiety issues and defending people's right to remain single at whatever age with no judgment. It seems like you DO want to meet someone though.
There's more hope for you than the other guy. You already recognize some of the issues that could be causing what you perceive as bad luck. You need to examine your entire approach strategy, go out and buy some new clothes (and iron them well). You recognize that a lot of the challenges you face are because of your anxiety in social settings, not bad luck. I'm not telling you not to be nice but don't be too nice to the point that you come across a white knight type (you'll just get friend zoned).
The first step is to stop blaming bad luck. It's the only way you'll move forward.
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