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Wow....very interesting responses. I wonder why you guys are so angry n upset about it?
I found out that most husband when they're bored at their wifes, then society seems to accept and justify that it's okay to hv a short term fling. But not if the role change.
Oh, btw, if my English was crappy, then excuse me.....since it's not my 1st language.
Uh, no. Society doesn't accept a male cheating with his wife any more than it accepts you cheating on yours. Honestly, if you were a male, you'd receive a lot worse feedback.
I'm not really angry or upset, just really sad for you. You need the attention of another in order to feel "whole." That means you're going to be alone no matter what you do. What we're trying to do is make you realize that regardless of your husband's libido, you still have a marriage. And most of all, you have YOU. Instead of looking outside to find someone to make you temporarily happy, you should seek long term fulfillment by finding something you enjoy or even starting a hobby you might enjoy. Not only will you learn something new, you might find friends (platonic ones) and even learn to be self-sufficient enough to be happy with the life you have.
If you are definitely unhappy with your husband, divorce him. And hope he never sees this post you made.
You should know that you will not make yourself feel better about your husband by flirting with others, and you certainly won't improve his opinion about you by doing that. If you are unhappy, feel unloved or under-appreciated, try having a conversation with him. If the two of you can't find an answer, try couples therapy. If all else fails, you should try a trial seperation - but betrayal is betrayal. Flirting with younger more attractive men CAN and PROBABLY WILL lead to cheating and eventual divorce. Even if you decide to stay together, you may damage the relationship even further. Doing what you suggest you want to here is an indicator of who you are as a person, and it indicates that you are self-serving and disinterested in those who may love you very much as soon as they begin to have problems and may be incapable of worshipping you every moment. If that isn't who you are, then rethink your plan of action. Have you considered that your husband may have a medical or psychological condition contributing to this that might be treatable? Are you willing to try and help him find out for the sake of your relationship, or does he truly mean nothing to you? As a final note, understand that here, shopping around while you are still married is considered gutless and immoral. Strong women leave when they need to and aren't so insecure in themselves that they are afraid to be alone, or need to be reassured that they are still marketable. The descision to stay or go should be based solely on the relationship itself, and not on whether you can find somebody better - because if you shop around now, you always will. No man wants a woman who will drop him at the first opportunity. How would you feel right now if the tables were turned, and it was your husband who wanted to "shop around" for a younger more attractive wife? You'd better think about it, because that could be your future if you do find someone else now. You are aging too.
I think my orig post was misunderstood.....I'm not looking for ANY OUTSIDE SEX.
I'm looking for somewhere safe to flirt so I can feel alive again and excited with my life......and maybe the changes in me will add extra spice in my relationship with my husband.
It's so easy for people to say divorce, w/out any consideration of the children and the time spend to build the family. I hv no intention to throw it away.
That's why I said no bars/clubs, coz I'm not looking for sex.
But good nice man to flirt with, to test the water whether I'm still a "woman" or not.
1. Uh huh. Then why mention the lack of sex?
2. If you want to feel alive again, breathe. If you want to be excited again, no one else is going to do that for you. You're going to want more and more no matter what.
3. I love how you're talking about divorce without consideration of the children when you're going outside of the relationship for fulfillment... without any consideration for your husband or children. You're already throwing it away.
4. You can test if you're still a woman or not by looking in a mirror while naked. If you have the required parts, then congrats, you are a woman.
As I said...very interesting responses. Some were nice, some were downright insulting. But I'll put it in my thesis. No hard feelings. Thanks again gentlemen.
As I said...very interesting responses. Some were nice, some were downright insulting. But I'll put it in my thesis. No hard feelings. Thanks again gentlemen.
Wow, how unbelievably, desperately sleazy sounding.
If you're looking to cheat, you'll find some sleazebag, I'm sure who's ready willing & able to help you destroy your marriage.
Obviously that doesn't mean anything to you though......
maybe you should try craigslist-
I hear there's lots of cheap, easy & sleazy ppl on there.
Hun, Miss OP? Just curious, are you a "mail order bride"? That may explain some of the problems you're having. Maybe you just need another focus altogether like a job, or even a different one. A hobby maybe. When there's a hole in your life it's good to fill it with something beneficial.
After 18 yrs of marriage, I'm vr much bored with my life as a mom, wife n work. I'm in my late 30s n my husband 50s. Sex life was aldy down the drain years ago. But now lately I just realized that my sex drive suddenly speeds-up, while his way gone. The spices didn't affect him.
So, I decided to find me a man my age for flirting for a little excitement and no strings attached. But since I long forget on how to 'socialize' where can I meer guys like this, bars/clubs are out of question.....since I'm not too fond of it.
I know this sounds insane....but I'm going nuts here. Any opinion will be appreciated.
If your marriage is so bad get a divorce or go through counseling. I think this is the most low-life question I've seen on City Data.
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