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That is the exception these days rather than the rule it once was. Look at all the single folks in their 40’s and beyond still single and unable to find anyone. Independent life has created a wealth of lonely souls that has worsened the situation devoid of romance. This is certainly not better by any stretch of the imagination but it is “new” and definitely not “improved” condition.
It can happen JobZombie. All my friends are married and no some have crapy jobs.
I'm not married because I'm a misfit.I'm not Gem who is truly outrageous. Heh.
Congratulations. I am certain that you treasure this for the good fortune you have found and you will never know how many people out there envy your situation and wish for a 100th of it. Friends of mine are into their 30 somethings anniversaries and I would have to live an exceptionally long time to ever match that or get close at this point. I wish I was able to find that special someone years ago and as time goes on it doesn't seem like it's ever going to be in the cards for me this go around. As the years go by it gets harder and harder but I still keep trying though and maintaining an optimistic outlook that it will happen.
Last edited by JobZombie; 12-09-2014 at 09:43 PM..
But there are generally benefits a married couple enjoys that unmarried couples do not.
Aside from the obvious tax benefits - what benefits are they exactly?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
When a marriage is strong and thriving it provides a more stable foundation on which to raise them, which benefits everyone in society.
Nope. When a RELATIONSHIP is strong and stable and thriving - that is the foundation that is best for raising children in. Marriage itself is irrelevant to this and there is nothing about a stable married relationship that makes it more beneficial than a stable unmarried one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Making that kind of commitment takes a whole skill set that some folks simply do not possess, at least not until they are more life experienced
Again nope. People can - and do - make the IDENTICAL commitments without ever getting married. There is nothing special in marriage here and it requires no more commitment than any other relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
If you don't think it takes real commitment and a special "skill set" to have a successful marriage or long term relationship you are sorely out of touch with reality, sorry.
If you think that the skill set for having a marriage is any different from the skill set of making any romantic relationship work long term - even without getting married - then the loss of reality is yours.
I still do even after coming out of a bad marriage. I like the security of it, but hate how difficult it is to get out when one needs to get out.
I agree. I think the process to get married should be more difficult, but to get divorced should be much easier. The system right now is back assward, imo.
In my opinion I believe that marriage is for life “till death do us part” and before two people enter into marriage they should make D sure that this is the person they want to spend out the remainder of their living days on this earth with. This isn’t buying a puppy that will last for at most 18 years or so, marriage is life, marriage is real. If the two cannot or do not want to make this commitment to stay together forever upfront than perhaps marriage is not for them and I agree that in some cases marriage is way too easy to get into and from much of the commentary here it looks as if they got married without thinking it all the way through and did not want to bother putting in the work required to make it succeed.
As such divorce should be all but impossible. Perhaps if two people realized this beforehand they would seriously reconsider and save everyone a lot of unneeded grief and drama down the road as their would be no marriage to divorce from. This might also influence and encourage those that are actually genuinely serious about relationships, marriage and what lifelong commitment is all about.
Aside from the obvious tax benefits - what benefits are they exactly?
Nope. When a RELATIONSHIP is strong and stable and thriving - that is the foundation that is best for raising children in. Marriage itself is irrelevant to this and there is nothing about a stable married relationship that makes it more beneficial than a stable unmarried one.
Again nope. People can - and do - make the IDENTICAL commitments without ever getting married. There is nothing special in marriage here and it requires no more commitment than any other relationship.
If you think that the skill set for having a marriage is any different from the skill set of making any romantic relationship work long term - even without getting married - then the loss of reality is yours.
You can be educated without a diploma, and you can drive a vehicle without a license, but you won't be taken as seriously or have any credibility. Same with unmarried couples.
I suppose it's possible to be in a stable unmarried relationship but it's rare. I've never actually seen one last beyond 8 years or so. I was very good friends with a "stable" couple who were together for over 30 years. They appeared "stable" unless you knew about his affairs and then her eventual, unfortunate suicide.
Unmarried couples usually either marry or break up.
Last edited by Butterflyfish; 12-10-2014 at 04:22 PM..
Well I don't follow trends or whatever. And there's always gonna be the marriage bashers. Call me old fashioned then. I go with my gut. I've had a lot of failed relationships and I'm the daughter of a divorcee but that hasn't played a role in my world view. While I was pro-marriage, I didn't spend my waking days looking for it. I definitely would rather be single than deal with a douchebag. And if it meant that I had to deal with a string of frogs before a prince, then it's all worth it in the end, I guess?
When I met my husband in my mid 20s, I was already a homeowner, been on my own for at least a decade, had a nice job, and valued self-reliance. I didn't *need* a white knight. However, the connection that we had was undeniable and I just fell right into the relationship. took the plunge. distance be damned. screw calculated risks. best decision I ever made. We've been married for 11.5 years, have two wonderful kids, and are still going strong. We don't worry about divorce. Maybe it's because by the time we married (27 for me, 26 for him) we were pretty well established relationship-wise. We knew what we wanted. We didn't marry due to pregnancy or "getting old". We married because quite simply, it was the next step to take. Natural progression of a quality relationship.
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All my friends are married and no some have crapy jobs.
