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I think having no "serious" friends (do you have any non-serious friends who could become serious?) is more of a problem than finding a date. At least if you have people to hang out with there's a possibility of meeting someone through a friend or friend of a friend. We don't know exactly what happens on these dates, but it sounds like there's a lack of compatibility if you can't carry on a conversation. I'm not exactly Mr. talkative and I've usually been able to carry on some kind of conversation with dates in the past.
I'd focus on meeting friends before going on another 50 dates.
The funny part is that at 29 he still doesn't get that to even get the 9's/10's social game is HUGE , as well as social status..he talks about how average looking dudes could get these women and that more than not is the biggest reason (the social circles they associate with).
Just start dating, don't pigeon hole yourself for a certain type of girl. Just date whoever and see what happens. You may have to compromise a bit, but that's what keeps things going.
Ok, again. I'm not socially dysfunctional. A tad on the shy side, perhaps. Conversations happened, and they continue to happen. Yes, no friends is weird, but most women I meet know nothing about me. So it's hard to say that is the issue here. I agree the issue is social. The mans brain is focused on the woman's appearance, the woman's brain is focused on all sorts of other things. In my 29 years of attempting to understand the female brain, I still can't understand them. Sometimes they're attracted to me, sometimes everything is 'creepy' to them lol. For the record, I've gone on dates with women I wasn't physically attracted to. I can't do it. Sorry. I guess Ill just feel sorry for myself then, and see where that goes lol.
What I consider an 8 could very well be bald, have a scar on her face, be dorky etc. I'm not completely into magazine covers. Just facial symmetry and normal bone structure.
I'm just getting to this crossroad in my life where I'm 29 and I'm forced back into doing cold approaches. I didn't want to be here at all.
What social status do these 8+ women have exactly? The last 8+ I hung out with approached me after I said hi
in a retail store. She sells clothes/makeup, but her social status to too high? I don't understand what your point is.
What social status do these 8+ women have exactly? The last 8+ I hung out with approached me after I said hi
in a retail store. She sells clothes/makeup, but her social status to too high? I don't understand what your point is.
Then stop dating altogether. You're either trying too hard or you're focusing on the wrong women -- or you're being to harsh about the ones that don't pan out.
It's been my experience that hard to get guys usually have women chasing them on all sides. Maybe you should focus on doing something interesting and living a moderately active social life. You don't need to approach anyone. Just meet them half way.
And you're still relatively young. Have some patience. You only need one right one. Just enjoy being by yourself till it happens.
Even many really beautiful women do not want to be valued just for their appearance.
So what personal qualities would you like in a partner? What do you think you need emotionally & intellectually from someone?
After considering that, then think about what kind of person you need to be to attract that kind of person & fulfill their emotional/mental/physical needs.
As a side, some women do value looks (I do). But that doesn't mean it's the only or even main thing we value. And of course, attraction is subjective, so what's an 8 to you or someone else will vary. In noting what kind of woman you like, then you might note the kind of aesthetics she goes for also. You can cultivate a look which advertises you are "her type", regardless of whatever genetics has granted you.
I would assume they do it in the same way that people of any other age do it. I certainly have seen no change in the methodology between when I was 15 - 25 and now 35. Nor do I see any change in procedure in those peers and people around me who are going from single to not single in their 30s.
Perhaps your error lies in actively trying to get someone. For many this does not work. Potential partners can often get the feeling of being a means to an end rather than an end in and of themselves. People can tell quickly when you are coming into an interaction with them with an agenda. And it is not attractive.
My usual advice that I have given successfully to so many people now is the best way to get a partner - is to stop trying. This worked for me in my 20s when I was single and a lazy layabout student. And it has worked for nearly all the people I have advised with it to date.
Focus instead on improving yourself and your own lot in life. Focus on the social aspects of any hobbies you do have. If you like guitar - dont sit at home learning but find a jam group. If you like learning a language - find a discussion group where other learners meet to do it. If you like computer games find social games you can play. If you like cooking then do dinner parties and get friends to invite friends.
Meeting a partner is not - in this world view of things - a destination on one of your paths in life therefore. Rather it is something that happens as an event along one of your paths in life.
My own testimony - I was single and a layabout and crap with women. I was big into live music however. So I started going on to the forums of bands and singers I like when they were about to play a gig. I would organise "pre gig meet ups" for before a show. Name a time and place - and how to recognise me - and fans of the music would therefore congregate around me. I was the social focus.
Through this I have made lasting friends who are still with me today and I am in a relationship now with not one but two girls I met with during that time - and we now live together in a happy relationship with 1 child and 1 due in a couple of months.
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How does one get a girlfriend at 29?
