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They get a banned a lot and can't take a hint. If I got banned I would never come back to this board. I wouldn't even ask for a second chance.
True, I don't mean to be harsh but you do have to kind of wonder if these repeatedly banned poster have a life outside of CD. Posting a lot here is one thing but if you keep getting banned you could at least go to another message board.
Are you kidding me? When guys start getting into their thirties, their dating prospects should go up, not down. Personally I can't wait until I'm that age. The financial stability, life experience and emotional maturity to date in a large age range.
That was certainly my experience, though for me it really hit its stride in my early-to-mid 30's even more than my late 20's, which is where the OP still is (albeit barely). I'm not sure financial stability had much to do with it for me, but life experience, emotional maturity and the ability to date across a wide age range certainly did.
To be fair, for me that age also coincided with the explosion in popularity of dating website use and my moving to a large city where it is considered very normal for people to be single in their 30's. I was probably helped by a large and well-matched dating pool more than my age.
In the case of the OP, though, he's clearly not lacking a dating pool if he has had 50 dates. (He noted that they were spread over three years, but that's still an average of one date every three weeks or so. That's not amazing, but you could do a lot worse.) There is clearly something else going on.
In the case of the OP, though, he's clearly not lacking a dating pool if he has had 50 dates. (He noted that they were spread over three years, but that's still an average of one date every three weeks or so. That's not amazing, but you could do a lot worse.) There is clearly something else going on.
I wonder if the "something else" might be the fact that he said he considers the dating pool he found "garbage"? What does that mean? So he went ahead and dated 50 women from what he believes is a "garbage" dating pool, and he wonders why he's not happy? What's that about? Either there's more to it he's not telling us, or he has an attitude problem. Who dates garbage?
I wonder if the "something else" might be the fact that he said he considers the dating pool he found "garbage"?
Well, there is such a thing as a bad dating pool, so it's possible he's attracting the wrong people or is in a location where the dating culture isn't a good fit for him.
It's probably more likely that he thinks a bit too highly of himself and is being too picky, though. If that arrogance is coming across on his dates, it's probably not helping him much, either. (How many women want to go on a second date with a guy who thinks she and everyone like her are "garbage"?)
I would assume they do it in the same way that people of any other age do it. I certainly have seen no change in the methodology between when I was 15 - 25 and now 35. Nor do I see any change in procedure in those peers and people around me who are going from single to not single in their 30s.
Perhaps your error lies in actively trying to get someone. For many this does not work. Potential partners can often get the feeling of being a means to an end rather than an end in and of themselves. People can tell quickly when you are coming into an interaction with them with an agenda. And it is not attractive.
My usual advice that I have given successfully to so many people now is the best way to get a partner - is to stop trying. This worked for me in my 20s when I was single and a lazy layabout student. And it has worked for nearly all the people I have advised with it to date.
Focus instead on improving yourself and your own lot in life. Focus on the social aspects of any hobbies you do have. If you like guitar - dont sit at home learning but find a jam group. If you like learning a language - find a discussion group where other learners meet to do it. If you like computer games find social games you can play. If you like cooking then do dinner parties and get friends to invite friends.
Meeting a partner is not - in this world view of things - a destination on one of your paths in life therefore. Rather it is something that happens as an event along one of your paths in life.
My own testimony - I was single and a layabout and crap with women. I was big into live music however. So I started going on to the forums of bands and singers I like when they were about to play a gig. I would organise "pre gig meet ups" for before a show. Name a time and place - and how to recognise me - and fans of the music would therefore congregate around me. I was the social focus.
Through this I have made lasting friends who are still with me today and I am in a relationship now with not one but two girls I met with during that time - and we now live together in a happy relationship with 1 child and 1 due in a couple of months.
This is such a great post and so true.
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