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Marriage takes work, and today with women being so called independent, a lot of them give up too easy. Women initiate 70% of all divorces.
Probably because they have that option today, where as in the past they had to have a man just to survive. Not that there aren't unreasonable women out there too.
But no, I don't think it's unrealistic for a couple to stay together forever. It does take work, though. Compromise isn't always easy because by nature it means you don't always get what you want.
However, I think it's a very good thing people can extricate themselves from irreperable marriages. I see no nobility in staying in an unhappy, unfulfilling relationship.
Marriage takes work, and today with women being so called independent, a lot of them give up too easy. Women initiate 70% of all divorces.
yeah, because we are not willing to put up with douches anymore. Guys have to put in some effort to keep us. Shame on us for having expectations.
I tried EVERYTHING possible to keep my husband. He did not do his part of the relationship, didn't even try. All I got was lots of broken promises and some half a$$ed pretending tries. So should I have stayed unhappy for the rest of my life? Hell no!
My elderly neighbors across the street are both 90 years old. They celebrated their 69th wedding anniversary a few months ago.
Several months ago, I sat in their living room and together, they told me the story of how they met. They finished one anothers sentences. The husband told me that she didn't know it yet, but he was the man she was going to marry.
She was courting another man and he said he stole her away from him and they have been together ever since.
The husband is dying. I see the love and fear in her eyes when we talk. I know they had to work to keep their marriage healthy, and it seems they did it.
I know that soon enough he will be but a memory, and I do not think she will be able to make it on this earth for very long without him.
Of course it CAN be done if both parties put in some effort.
My parents are married since 45 years and all my relatives and friends are married. Happily married.
My parents do everything together. Go to the gym together, grocery shopping, doctor, traveling, etc. etc. They even still hold hands and they are in their 60's.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caltovegas
To think people will be married for life? Back in the day people stayed married basically where we're they going to go? Today women have more freedom and options. Then throw in after the kids are grown then what?
As a millennial, I think there will very few lifelong marriages from my generation, I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. It is a good thing that women can mostly survive after a divorce these days so they have that option if SHTF. Also millennials are less religious so no worry about "God hates divorce."
My parents have been married for over 50 years, and my mom has always said that the "secret" is that a good marriage is a choice that you make every day. Some people on this forum make it sound like relationships are always contentious and that the other person is out to get them and ruin their life, but in reality they're a team. They don't take each other for granted and they accept each other for who they are.
Totally agree with the bolded part. SHTF early on in my marriage 2 months into it actually. MY husband has done a major deal breaker for me. I have done something that is totally out of my character and morals and strong conviction. WE almost divorced. I moved out well more like him kicking me out.
After all of that, we are 2 days away from our first year anniversary. I have not been my usual self with my husband like ALL the things he had done that would make me walk out in a minute, I would, if I was not married to him. I do love him too so that's a major factor.
I've swallowed my pride just so we can stay together. Never in my life I thought I can do this to anyone. But he kinda prove he is worth it anyway, sorta. As long as he loves me then we would be married for the rest of our lives that is my ONLY reason for staying with him. Plus factor too with my husband, he really is a loyal guy. A real one woman man, that in itself makes him a gem.
But marriage, it takes work. Hard work. Screw those people that says otherwise. They're delusional.
I think couples who get together at a later stage in life probably have the experience and wisdom to make it work. So if a couple gets together at the 40 or 50 age range, I don't think it's unrealistic to think they'll make it to the finish line. Do I think it's unrealistic for a couple marry out of high school and stay together for decades upon decades? Yes.
Lifelong marriage is still possible. There are plenty of success stories. Unfortunately, the failure-stories are more exciting, and give more reason for discussion. How many people post here with statements such as, “My husband and I are thoroughly happy together, and have been for years, and will continue for years” (except for specialized threads, such as this one)? Good news doesn’t sell, but tragedy is exciting.
That said, we live in a complicated society. We live too long, expect too much, endure too little and surrender too easily. We expect for life to be a jolly jaunt, a happy escapade – and not just fun, but also rewarding. If it’s not fun, if we believe that better options are available, we seek the optimum. Why not? Liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and all that. Welcome to the brave new world!
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