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Infidelity has nothing to do with whether or not you are grateful to have found someone to date you. I think you have a very simplistic view of mature relationships.
I don't have much experience with them either. All I have done is kiss a girl once.
Hi everyone, I'm new here. I figured I would ask this and see what you all thought. It seems as if shyness is looked down upon by not just women but society as a whole. But I don't get the big deal. If a man is shy, what's wrong with that? Let him be him. If you try to make him change, he will hate you for it and resent you. If everyone were outgoing, this world would be boring. I have met many men who were shy and never got a girlfriend or wife. It's sad and I don't think these guys can change. What do you think?
True indeed its unfortunate that it is being looked down upon like that not just by woman but everyone in general.I don't understand why people have to be so judgemental about those who are shy.In my view there is absolutely nothing wrong being shy,reserved,introvert etc,after all they are people too and they have the right to be who they are, I also think that nowdays society looks at them in such a way to tell them as if they have to change otherwise they can't do anything in life.Its sad but true.The point here is that I beleive most of the people in today's world are outgoing/extroverts(I am not sure of the percentage) hence it is easier for others to judge shy people based on this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
If you try to make him change, he will hate you for it and resent you. If everyone were outgoing, this world would be boring
Yes you should never try to change anyone, only they can change themselves and no one else but still people at least indirectly try to change such people.Only they can change themselves.So yes they will most probably not change,even in the long run.They will be themselves you can either choose to completely accept them or not but change I don't think so.
One should change not due to the fear of consequences that will come in future or due to outside pressures/societial pressures but because they want to become a better person.If you try to change anyone by force,yes they will only hate you for that, though they may never express it to you.
There's one thing here the I beleive these shy/introvert/reserved types of guys are unique in their own ways.In fact they are one of the most wonderful guys once you get to know them.They have such good qualities that will totally amaze you and take you off your feet but it's sad to know that no one would want to know them or even try for that matter.
Yes I can't imagine the scenario where everyone were outgoing in this world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
I have met many men who were shy and never got a girlfriend or wife. It's sad and I don't think these guys can change. What do you think?
Well I am sure all types of guys are attractive, what you've mentioned above is just one type of guy,I am sure a girl would like or even love this type of guy as well,and exactly as they are.BUT......
Yes its true that there is a good chance of these shy/reserved guys being single forever due to their own nature and mindset,not 100 % but the chances are very high.
Shyness sucks. I am very shy around women, and am punished to life of lonliess, sure i've tried asking out women, speed dating, online dating, but the dates are more like a job interview that fun. I can't have any fun with women, I don't mean sex, I can't even have sex. I still won't give up on women even though they drop me in a second for a fast talking rich guy, or a bragging type guy. I'm the opposite, I'm a 31 year old virgin who can't get a date.
I have to generate my own contentness without women. If rejection doesn't bother you then why would you give up on women?
Are we talking about shy as in being a person with an introverted personality? Or shy as in socially awkward, nervous, fails to make eye contact, etc. type of person?
I'm a bit of an introvert, but I've never had a problem going after what I want.
Hi everyone, I'm new here. I figured I would ask this and see what you all thought. It seems as if shyness is looked down upon by not just women but society as a whole. But I don't get the big deal. If a man is shy, what's wrong with that? Let him be him. If you try to make him change, he will hate you for it and resent you. If everyone were outgoing, this world would be boring. I have met many men who were shy and never got a girlfriend or wife. It's sad and I don't think these guys can change. What do you think?
Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, the best we can do is play to our strengths.
I had a longer post, but it turned out to be an emotional rant about someone trying to change another person. I wholeheartedly agree with the statement that if you try to change a person, he will resent you for it, especially if he is working towards his own change.
I see it this way. There are all types of people in the world, shy and outgoing. Some of the worse (not worst) type of people are those who pretend to be what they're not.
I myself am often mistaken for being shy. Often times when people try to insist that I'm shy, that's when I school them.
I say something like "I'm not shy, I'm just not a narcissistic attention addict who is so full of himself that he has to lie to kick it."
OR
"It's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're an idiot than to run your mouth and remove all doubt."
When people try to label me, they often find themselves with a "NIKE" branded tongue.
Also, I'm no longer worried about this. Some of the most sought after celebrities are or were referred to as shy at some point in their life. (Johnny Depp was called shy at least once)
Sometimes, people throw that label in order to feel better about themselves.
"Oh, he's not disinterested, he's just shy."
Phew, Another rant, hopefully more relevant than my previous one. I think you touched a nerve.
I don't think you should necessarily give up on women if you are shy.
As a man youre better off being arrogant then shy lowkey or not wantign to be the center of attention..
Ugh! Arrogance is the worst! You don't have to want to be the center of attention in order to be of interest to women. Lots of lowkey guys are now happily in LTR's or married. The main thing is simply to talk to women. It doesn't really matter all that much what you say for openers, just say something to get the ball rolling. As long as it's socially acceptable, it can work.
Because usually they will be happy if even one woman starts to date them. Why mess it up? I could be wrong though.
Anyone who wanted to be with me simply because I am female and willing would have nothing but my contempt.
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