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Please, "benefits" may not have been exactly the right word, but a relationship is a two-way street. Both people need to feel like their needs are being met. Many of these awkward men seem to be fixated on how they're not getting anything from women, rather than spending an equal amount thinking about what they have to offer a partner themselves.
Why is it assumed that awkward guys are the only guys with this mentality? It seems that there are good number of people with this mentality.
Being shy is one of the worst things to be when it comes to approaching women because you do not approach women, and you hope that a woman notices you and approaches you instead. Bad idea, most women will not approach you, especially when most of those women get approached enough anyway.
People can try to say that being arrogant is terrible, but it's almost the opposite of shy, and more women are definitely attracted to arrogance, by a large amount.
My advice would start at losing the shy part of yourself and start putting yourself into more social environments and around more women. The odds of you finding a woman who will approach you is incredibly small compared to you not being shy and approaching a bunch of women, since that's what women want.
Please, "benefits" may not have been exactly the right word, but a relationship is a two-way street. Both people need to feel like their needs are being met. Many of these awkward men seem to be fixated on how they're not getting anything from women, rather than spending an equal amount thinking about what they have to offer a partner themselves.
Funny, but that's EXACTLY what your post sounded like. "Why would I date a shy guy? What could he do for me???"
News flash: men are not here to serve you. Shocking, I know.
Being shy is one of the worst things to be when it comes to approaching women because you do not approach women, and you hope that a woman notices you and approaches you instead. Bad idea, most women will not approach you, especially when most of those women get approached enough anyway.
People can try to say that being arrogant is terrible, but it's almost the opposite of shy, and more women are definitely attracted to arrogance, by a large amount.
My advice would start at losing the shy part of yourself and start putting yourself into more social environments and around more women. The odds of you finding a woman who will approach you is incredibly small compared to you not being shy and approaching a bunch of women, since that's what women want.
Yes, as long as other men are willing to approach, women won't have to. And everyone gets nervous to meet someone new, that's not dependent on how quiet or outgoing you are.
I'm not really clear if the OP is just quiet versus has social anxiety and can't actually talk to others. Shyness isn't looked down upon, but it is going to inhibit you from making connections with others.
IMO, it's only little children who get a free pass on being shy, as they're just learning to interact with people and the world around them. By adulthood, you should be able to speak and interact with others. Some do it better than others, some are quieter, some more outgoing. But if you can't even manage the basics of conversation and communication, you should be looking into how you can overcome this issue, because you can't form relationships with others without this ability.
As awkward as it may feel at times, it can pay off to just talk to women. I've learned that and I am starting to make more random conversation that I wouldn't have a few years ago.
I think sports, working out and my career has helped me tremendously with my shyness. I'm a pretty reserved guy but at work I'm always talking and I don't let anyone walk over me. On the court or the ski resort I'm very aggressive and always ride/play my hardest. I'm pretty confident in my abilities.
The gym was really intimidating for the first month or so but I forced myself to go, now I love it! It's an escape for me.
Applying myself in those things kind of shot me out of my mindset about me being boring or not worthy of their attention. I used to have a lot of self esteem issues and I was always worried about what people thought. I just do me now. In my younger years I turned to booze and drugs, shockingly, it didn't help. Haha
Yes, as long as other men are willing to approach, women won't have to. And everyone gets nervous to meet someone new, that's not dependent on how quiet or outgoing you are.
I'm not really clear if the OP is just quiet versus has social anxiety and can't actually talk to others. Shyness isn't looked down upon, but it is going to inhibit you from making connections with others.
IMO, it's only little children who get a free pass on being shy, as they're just learning to interact with people and the world around them. By adulthood, you should be able to speak and interact with others. Some do it better than others, some are quieter, some more outgoing. But if you can't even manage the basics of conversation and communication, you should be looking into how you can overcome this issue, because you can't form relationships with others without this ability.
I'm an introvert. I think life is simpler when other people aren't around. I usually don't care how other people view me, I'm not here to be anybody's friend or make "connections."
True indeed its unfortunate that it is being looked down upon like that not just by woman but everyone in general.I don't understand why people have to be so judgemental about those who are shy.In my view there is absolutely nothing wrong being shy,reserved,introvert etc,after all they are people too and they have the right to be who they are, I also think that nowdays society looks at them in such a way to tell them as if they have to change otherwise they can't do anything in life.Its sad but true.The point here is that I beleive most of the people in today's world are outgoing/extroverts(I am not sure of the percentage) hence it is easier for others to judge shy people based on this.
Yes you should never try to change anyone, only they can change themselves and no one else but still people at least indirectly try to change such people.Only they can change themselves.So yes they will most probably not change,even in the long run.They will be themselves you can either choose to completely accept them or not but change I don't think so.
One should change not due to the fear of consequences that will come in future or due to outside pressures/societial pressures but because they want to become a better person.If you try to change anyone by force,yes they will only hate you for that, though they may never express it to you.
There's one thing here the I beleive these shy/introvert/reserved types of guys are unique in their own ways.In fact they are one of the most wonderful guys once you get to know them.They have such good qualities that will totally amaze you and take you off your feet but it's sad to know that no one would want to know them or even try for that matter.
Yes I can't imagine the scenario where everyone were outgoing in this world.
Well I am sure all types of guys are attractive, what you've mentioned above is just one type of guy,I am sure a girl would like or even love this type of guy as well,and exactly as they are.BUT......
Yes its true that there is a good chance of these shy/reserved guys being single forever due to their own nature and mindset,not 100 % but the chances are very high.
As a man youre better off being arrogant then shy lowkey or not wantign to be the center of attention..
I hate arrogance. Why would I want to be that way? Last thing I want to be is a douchebag to people.
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