Being rejected as too heavy....by someone who is also heavy? (hubby, friend)
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But why are the "preferences" that can't be "forced" always physical? Always, always, always. Yet, for some strange reason, every non-physical "preference" seems to be negotiable?
So true.
People always compromise on integrity and character but never on looks. This may explain our high divorce rates...
I certainly hope to find a partner who also enjoys yoga, long walks, bike rides, etc.
Here's an interesting quagmire for you.
If you lost the weight, and another guy dated you, and then you found out that he wouldn't have dated you if you were XX lb heavier, would you still date him?
Because I think almost everybody would, even though you are complaining about it now.
Like men who are 5'9", if they find out their women wouldn't date guys under 5'7", they're like, "Hey, OK, I made the cutoff. Cool."
It's a tricky one. Because women can usually lose weight and the men who may be attracted to them will fluctuate with it.
I appreciate all of you who are understanding and came to my defense.
To clarify, no, I don't think anyone *owes* me a date, regardless of my size or his, or looks, or anything else. Nor am I moping or losing any sleep over this, lol. I was a little frustrated because he and I are basically at the exact same point in working on getting into good shape so I considered us "equal" in that regard.
From what I saw (this was a potential blind date situation being set up by a mutual friend), we had a great deal in common and he is very, very smart, which is important to me. We both told said friend we would be interested in meeting each other, but his interest went away after seeing some unflattering pics of me on FB. And I'm sure a bunch of you will now say/think that I must be pretty ugly! Regardless, I know I am not photogenic and I have never presented myself as good looking. And since I became single again after my divorce, I have never rejected a man because of looks.
Again, I guess I was foolish to think that by this age (I am 39, he is 45) and the other factors I mentioned, people would be willing to take a chance getting to know each other and see if there is mutual interest.
After all this - I'm kind of wondering why your friend told you that his interest went away after seeing your pictures. I would never tell my friend that.
OP, would you give a very nice, single 450lb man a chance?
Soy, I'm going to answer your question in three parts, because I really did think about it:
1) If it was Jorge Garcia (Hurley from "LOST") then absolutely, because I think he's adorable!
2) If it was the same situation - we had a lot in common - then yes, I would give him a chance because even if there was no spark, there's nothing wrong with making new friends with shared interests.
3) 450 lbs is a bit of an exaggeration of my issue. I don't outweigh this guy by 200 lbs. In fact, I don't outweigh him at all! If I were 500 lbs and I rejected a guy at 450 lbs as too fat, then I would be a hypocrite.
I certainly hope to find a partner who also enjoys yoga, long walks, bike rides, etc.
I well I hope he meets you in person while you are being your best bad self. You know, the one who won't date him.
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I don't get why, if you have a common friend, you couldn't have met casually? a party or a group outing around a common interest or something?
But then, that's probably part of what I don't understand about the american dating concept
Maybe it's not too late for that? Couldn't your common friend set something up ? With lots of people of course, not a "trap".
And who knows? You might find out YOU don't want him Or get along, or even meet someone else at this event
No, it's actually a valid question. It is common to meet this way here in the U.S. My father in law and his wife (my step-mother in law?) met through a common friend and have been married for a little over 8 years now.
2) If it was the same situation - we had a lot in common - then yes, I would give him a chance because even if there was no spark, there's nothing wrong with making new friends with shared interests.
Wow.
That's an admirable attitude. I really don't think many share your attitude, nor do I think that attitude will help you at all when it comes to dating, but I admire it.
Soy, I'm going to answer your question in three parts, because I really did think about it:
1) If it was Jorge Garcia (Hurley from "LOST") then absolutely, because I think he's adorable!
2) If it was the same situation - we had a lot in common - then yes, I would give him a chance because even if there was no spark, there's nothing wrong with making new friends with shared interests.
3) 450 lbs is a bit of an exaggeration of my issue. I don't outweigh this guy by 200 lbs. In fact, I don't outweigh him at all! If I were 500 lbs and I rejected a guy at 450 lbs as too fat, then I would be a hypocrite.
So basically, no you wouldn't date an obese man.
What happened to the premise of "giving people a chance"? Oh wait, he has to be a tv star, or in a similar situation as you?
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Or get along, or even meet someone else at this event 
