Being rejected as too heavy....by someone who is also heavy? (girls, sex)

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by MoonBeam33

There's nothing wrong with having preferences and standards, but if you keep it up too long, you will just be alone.

Nothing at all wrong with being alone. Being single and being lonely are very different things.

It usually is better to be single than be with someone you're not 100% into.

[intelfan11315]

Originally Posted by MoonBeam33

I mean, really, what gives?


And yes, everyone is allowed to have their preferences, as has been discussed *ad nauseam* on this forum.

So guys, explain to me rejecting a woman as too heavy - without ever having met her or interacted with her - when, relatively speaking, he is heavier than she is?

This is like trying to solve 4 functions with 7 unknowns... it just can't be done.

[caesarsgirl79]

What does the guy being heavy have to do with who he's attracted too? I don't see the issue. You like who you like.

One of my best friends is "heavy" and her husband is very slim. She said she dated big guys, but she didn't like "slapping fat" and preferred slim guys.

[JBT1980]

Women do the same..i know fat women, unattractive women etc who wont date short men because theyre not attracted whats the difference?

[homina12]

I haven't read much of the the thread but I agree that the body I'm in doesn't do much to determine the type of body I find attractive. Although it didn't appear to happen in the case of the OP, I would find it hypocritcal if a heavy person suggested that being overweight was a character flaw he or she wished to avoid in a relationship. Even then, what are you going to do?

My guess is that the OP took this rejection that way, at least in part. Although people often talk about rejection as a simple choice that doesn't suggest the rejected person is of lesser value somehow, many of us have at least a momentary thought along the lines of "he thinks he's better than me" when rejected. And honestly, that's what some people are thinking when they reject someone.

[Bronxguyanese]

As an average looking guy myself, what I learned over the years about physical attraction of the opposite sex is that I have to be weary about what average and unattractive women finds attractive and to a certain degree it is not me. Me personally I would rather go for an average looking women, or a big girl or even someone that is unattractive but has a great heart and spirit, however I always find women average to below average women very insecure about themselves, unhappy and shallow. One thing I do now is to tell guys who are average, big or unattractive is to be very weary about the opposite sex physical attraction. And like I said before a big girl may not want a big guy, and big women have it much easier in finding a relationship than say a big guy. But then again I live in a very female oriented increasingly feminist city cough, cough NY, so plenty of fat women are in relationships with fit men.

[2mares]

Originally Posted by MoonBeam33

I mean, really, what gives?


And yes, everyone is allowed to have their preferences, as has been discussed *ad nauseam* on this forum.

So guys, explain to me rejecting a woman as too heavy - without ever having met her or interacted with her - when, relatively speaking, he is heavier than she is?

I didn't read the entire thread so someone may have said this but it reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld where George rejects a women because she is bald.

[JJS99]

Originally Posted by JBT1980

Women do the same..i know fat women, unattractive women etc who wont date short men because theyre not attracted whats the difference?

Yep. We've discussed this before. How it doesn't help to go for unattractive women if you are an unattractive guy.

On the other side of the coin, I would say it generally would be a very successful strategy for a less attractive woman to go after less attractive guys, but there are even some rare guys who think they are much better looking than they are.

The thing is, people's perceptions of themselves is based on their success. An unattractive woman is much more likely to have had sex and dates with attractive men than an unattractive man with attractive women, so is more likely to have a higher opinion of herself.

[iknowftbll]

Originally Posted by 2mares

I didn't read the entire thread so someone may have said this but it reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld where George rejects a women because she is bald.

Haha! George! That guy was always his own worst enemy! If he were a real-life person he would be posting on CDR complaining incessantly about height, weight, baldness, glasses, etc.

[Mikala43]

So you were rejected after he saw some pics of you?

I won't day a guy who I know I won't be attracted to, and I certainly wouldn't want a guy to date me if he wasn't attracted to me. There is no "he should be attracted to me" for whatever reason, including our weights being similar. A guy with brown hair can have a "thing" for blondes.