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C'mon. Everyone knows that, by virtue of being pudgy and homely, this is a woman who is going to immediately latch on to any compliment thrown her way, and eat it up like scraps thrown. ESPECIALLY if it comes from a "good looking guy."
At least, in the OP's world.
You are the one who is personalizing the argument.
C'mon. Everyone knows that, by virtue of being pudgy and homely, this is a woman who is going to immediately latch on to any compliment thrown her way, and eat it up like scraps thrown. ESPECIALLY if it comes from a "good looking guy."
At least, in the OP's world.
Huh. I have a sister in law who is not pudgy, she is full on fat. She has some of the hormonal results of that condition. No one would call her attractive, even to be nice. She has never latched a day in her life. I know plenty of people with their various shapes, sizes and characteristics, that are date happy. So what is it that "everyone" supposedly knows.
I understand being smart, funny and cool means nothing. I understand it to death.
But you're telling me you're not even willing to make THAT compromise?
If a REALLY hot guy was one on one with a pudgy homely girl and told her "You're just the coolest. I think you're awesome." that's something he needs to be aware of, that there is a high chance she will fall for him.
You don't see that? You don't think there's any responsibility for him to maybe hold back? You really can't see it from that side, can you?
However you slice this, you're asking other people to change their otherwise socially acceptable and even socially beneficial behavior, just to suit you. I don't think you can see that.
As people have so often said, the answer to this and similar questions is to get out of your own head and into more real experiences with people, women included. And to risk being harsh, you probably fvck up those experiences because I can't imagine you being part of the experience, but rather, I can imagine you critiquing (sp?) your every word or deed and analyzing the other person's into paralysis.
Life dealt you a hand of cards. I'm sure there are better hands dealt to other people (although I'm holding a pair of 3s) but as irritating as this cliche is, you have to play the hand you're dealt as well as you can. That, or fold. Do you really expect the other players to change the ante or the rules of the game because you don't like your cards?
Some of you people must be living under a rock. I have met numerous men who were very flirtatious and seemingly liked me, but never asked me out. A few times, I stupidly asked them out and got a no.
Women aren't the only humans on this planet that are overly friendly, or whatever you people want to call it.
By the way, I wonder why some of you feel that you are so special? We ALL, WOMEN and MEN, have the same experiences. When the males on CD post dislikes/complaints about females, it comes across as ALL females are to blame. This comes off as only bashing or complaining, not as I need help or suggestions for a particular situation. Then, we get a lot of piling on top, everyone else contributing their complaints. This isn't football where you tackle the offender.
OK. You're right.
So, I would say the same thing to those men. Don't lead on women you are not attracted to.
If you just are going to go about your business and 'do what you do', then so be it.
The problem with telling people not to lead others on is that the person can't possibly know what leads on a complete stranger. Each person in this world is uniquely different in their emotional capacity for something like that and the people interacting with them aren't mind readers.
However you slice this, you're asking other people to change their otherwise socially acceptable and even socially beneficial behavior, just to suit you. I don't think you can see that.
As people have so often said, the answer to this and similar questions is to get out of your own head and into more real experiences with people, women included. And to risk being harsh, you probably fvck up those experiences because I can't imagine you being part of the experience, but rather, I can imagine you critiquing (sp?) your every word or deed and analyzing the other person's into paralysis.
Life dealt you a hand of cards. I'm sure there are better hands dealt to other people (although I'm holding a pair of 3s) but as irritating as this cliche is, you have to play the hand you're dealt as well as you can. That, or fold. Do you really expect the other players to change the ante or the rules of the game because you don't like your cards?
That's right.
I'm asking society to make a change.
Society also says women should never date short men. But that one is large to expect people to change.
I mean, it's such a small one.
You just be conscious of not leading people you are not attracted to on by being over complimenting and heaping all kinds of sugary praise on them.
I really don't think that's anything too crazy, but hey ... who knows?
Society also says women should never date short men. But that one is large to expect people to change.
Sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder. Where does society state women should never date a short man? Your attitude sucks. This makes you unattractive to women because how you feel on the inside can affect how you act and come across to others. Be positive about yourself. All the negative talk isn't doing you any good.
You just be conscious of not leading people you are not attracted to on by being over complimenting and heaping all kinds of sugary praise on them.
Who gets to decide what's overly complimentary and heaping, though? If a woman tells a colleague that he made a great point at the staff meeting this morning, and he decides that she's totally into him because of that, who's at fault there? Or if a woman tells her neighbor that he looks sharp in his suit and good luck on his interview? Jillabean said it upthread, you can't know what a stranger is going to react to.
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