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I agree with you there. Of course dating can be done cheaply, but there are always costs involved. People can say "go to the park" or "go camping" as much as they want, but do what at the park? Even bringing your own food on a picnic will cost money. Or you need to pay for parking. What if you don't have camping/hiking equipment? Or you have t rent a campsite? That sort of thing.
Bottom line is people can date whether they have money or not. It happens everyday. It's this crazy fluky phenomenon.
Of course with a lot of things there will be some prices involved. But it still doesn't cost much to hike, go to the beach, etc. Yeah, you might spend money on some drinks, some food, gas or whatever at times. But who goes out every day and spends an extravagant amount each time? Not too many. Most people live in areas where going out to eat-hitting a movie isn't that much. It's not like it's going to break you. Even college kids can come up with that much from time to time. Your taking everything people say and adding your own outcomes. For instance, hiking. In my world hiking doesn't mean renting anything out. It means putting on your shoes and going hiking. Where's the money in that or walking on a beach/ going to a park? You'll say if you go to the park you have to bring an expensive lunch/ wine etc. No you don't. Brining food from home is fun at times to have a picnic. But in all my life, I've seen exactly no one drinking wine during a picnic or on a beach. Odd, I know. Deduct those few prices and all dates don't have to be expensive. You just have to be creative/ imaginative.
Those are issues associated with the area you live/your lifestyle.
Adjust your dates according to what's available...
Making a picnic basket cost you as little as $20 if you are prepared to make the things in it and not just buy everything and throw it in, parks are free to everyone
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
well then you are basically suggesting, "If you have little money, don't get into relationships." I don't think so.
They can dump their stuff on ebay together, (making money and having fun) that is fun creative dates.
no?
I do. When I am unemployed, or poorly employed, and sadly it has happened a few times in my life (hopefully never again, but you never know), then yes, dating was something I didn't do. I needed my time, energy, and the little money I had (for classes, networking events, etc) to try to improve my situation. Dating / women / relationships become the lowest priority.
When you're doing that badly financially, spending $20 or so on romantic pursuits, isn't responsible in my book. Dating money is entertainment money. Excess money in other words. You have to have a cushion to have an excess.
I agree with you there. Of course dating can be done cheaply, but there are always costs involved. People can say "go to the park" or "go camping" as much as they want, but do what at the park? Even bringing your own food on a picnic will cost money. Or you need to pay for parking. What if you don't have camping/hiking equipment? Or you have t rent a campsite? That sort of thing.
So makes me wonder what people with "little or no money" do themselves for entertainment? I mean do they not go to the park, fix their own food, etc. anyway or do they just sit in their houses?
I think if poor people could not get into relationships few of us would be here today. No one in my family had money yet my grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles managed to date, fall in love and raise families.
well then you are basically suggesting, "If you have little money, don't get into relationships." I don't think so.
They can dump their stuff on ebay together, (making money and having fun) that is fun creative dates.
no?
Very funny. I agree with you though. People will date with money or without. Nobodies going to dictate that. For those who feel like they can't date unless they have tons of money, that is pretty sad for you. Your lack of imagination is taking you out of the game.
Well, in theory, this person would then look even deeper, discover the roots of their misanthropy, manipulations, and narcissism, and address those -- becoming then a well-adjusted and datable person.
The difficulty is that they may not feel like doing that. If you hate humans and look down on them, why would you want to become somebody they like?
Delving ever deeper, the situation becomes ever more convoluted and unpalatable.
Though everyone is different in the details, an overarching theme, I think, is the individual's thirst for power… power over others, power over nature. What happens when this power is not attained, and one's efforts are stymied? Surrender to reality? Flailing? Or petulant ire? Consider the play, Richard III. How does Richard react to being unfavored of form, passed over in the succession, cheated (in his view) from just station in life? He becomes malevolent and vindictive. Yet Richard manages to attract Anne Neville, despite having grievously wronged her family. Anne wasn't so much bamboozled as wooed. And it worked. Richard did love her, in his capricious and variable way. Or consider "Heart of Darkness". What happened to Kurtz? Why did he lose his marbles? Something jarred his relationship to the world, and instead of reacting passively, or just killing himself, he transfigured his thirst for power into tyrannical lording over a simple and gullible people. If Marlowe and his company managed to extricate Kurtz before his succumbing to fever, and return him to England, how would Kurtz go about dating? Would he complain about his African investments failing, his stash of ivory being taken away and therefore his mating-value having been enervated? Or would he admit his insanity and seek treatment? And even if he were "treated" – would a viable remedy be found?
It is the shunted thirst for power that sends a man into self-exile in the forest, impotently seething at a world that refuses to properly appreciate his talents.
A relationship in the modern sense requires sublimation of the self in the joint identity of the couple. This is a novelty. I don't think that it was necessary or even widely expected until well into the 20th century. Adaptation to this new reality is tremendously difficult. It is neither the "nice guy" nor the "bad boy", nor the gentle but indigent, or the comfortably affluent, who manages this transformation well. Rather, it is the person who trains himself to be comfortable dispensing with the notion that the world neatly splits into two disjoint parts: the self, and absolutely everything else.
For all of us, whether we're poor or obese or have malevolent character traits, the desire is to attract and to retain a mate on our own terms, not on society's terms. And therein lies the frustration.
So makes me wonder what people with "little or no money" do themselves for entertainment? I mean do they not go to the park, fix their own food, etc. anyway or do they just sit in their houses?
I think if poor people could not get into relationships few of us would be here today. No one in my family had money yet my grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles managed to date, fall in love and raise families.
I do. When I am unemployed, or poorly employed, and sadly it has happened a few times in my life (hopefully never again, but you never know), then yes, dating was something I didn't do. I needed my time, energy, and the little money I had (for classes, networking events, etc) to try to improve my situation. Dating / women / relationships become the lowest priority.
When you're doing that badly financially, spending $20 or so on romantic pursuits, isn't responsible in my book. Dating money is entertainment money. Excess money in other words. You have to have a cushion to have an excess.
You are so right about that. When you are doing bad financially all the hings below come before dating
Very funny. I agree with you though. People will date with money or without. Nobodies going to dictate that. For those who feel like they can't date unless they have tons of money, that is pretty sad for you. Your lack of imagination is taking you out of the game.
I do. When I am unemployed, or poorly employed, and sadly it has happened a few times in my life (hopefully never again, but you never know), then yes, dating was something I didn't do. I needed my time, energy, and the little money I had (for classes, networking events, etc) to try to improve my situation. Dating / women / relationships become the lowest priority.
When you're doing that badly financially, spending $20 or so on romantic pursuits, isn't responsible in my book. Dating money is entertainment money. Excess money in other words. You have to have a cushion to have an excess.
What about just laying on the couch watching tv? In your world is that too expensive? Because most relationships come down to doing those things on more of a regular basis. Renting movies and taking in take out. But if you have no money at all, then you can make food from home and get cozy on the couch. Statistics have proven that people are going to get with each other regardless of what either persons income is.
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