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So I've known this girl for about 2 years, we've been friends, but not terribly close friends, and really haven't ever hung out alone together, always among a group and maybe only see each other a few times a month, and she just asked me to go on a week long trip alone with her. In the 2 years we've known each other, neither of us has really shown interest in each other outside of a very little bit of what I've only considered to friendly/joking/non-serious flirting. She is recently single, having just gotten out of a 3 year relationship about 6 weeks ago. I'm single as well. The trip is over our spring break, 4 weeks from now. She's 21 and a junior and I'm 22 and a senior.
She is also far more attractive than I am. I normally don't consider leagues, but sometimes you just have to be honest with yourself, and she's like an 8/10 and I'm like a male 5/10.
The trip is on. We've already booked our non-refundable plane tickets and gone to some lengths to each get out of working that week.
We are staying at a mutual female acquaintance's condo, and the mutual acquaintance will be there in the evening and weekend, but will be working during the day.
I probably won't make a move, as to not risk making the trip weird, but am very open to "things" happening if she makes any kind of hints or moves. I'm guessing she understands that I'd be interested, being that she is attractive and kinda knows it lol, and that I'm single and a dude.
But I'm also worried that she might think I'm gay, being that she receives plenty of aggressive male interest of what's seemingly a daily basis, turning down all of it, and in the 2 years we've known each other I've never tried making a move, when almost every other guy she knows has lol.
So I've known this girl for about 2 years, we've been friends, but not terribly close friends, and really haven't ever hung out alone together, always among a group and maybe only see each other a few times a month, and she just asked me to go on a week long trip alone with her. In the 2 years we've known each other, neither of us has really shown interest in each other outside of a very little bit of what I've only considered to friendly/joking/non-serious flirting. She is recently single, having just gotten out of a 3 year relationship about 6 weeks ago. I'm single as well. The trip is over our spring break, 4 weeks from now. She's 21 and a junior and I'm 22 and a senior.
She is also far more attractive than I am. I normally don't consider leagues, but sometimes you just have to be honest with yourself, and she's like an 8/10 and I'm like a male 5/10.
The trip is on. We've already booked our non-refundable plane tickets and gone to some lengths to each get out of working that week.
We are staying at a mutual female acquaintance's condo, and the mutual acquaintance will be there in the evening and weekend, but will be working during the day.
I probably won't make a move, as to not risk making the trip weird, but am very open to "things" happening if she makes any kind of hints or moves. I'm guessing she understands that I'd be interested, being that she is attractive and kinda knows it lol, and that I'm single and a dude.
But I'm also worried that she might think I'm gay, being that she receives plenty of aggressive male interest of what's seemingly a daily basis, turning down all of it, and in the 2 years we've known each other I've never tried making a move, when almost every other guy she knows has lol.
She organized the trip and asked me to go on it.
Is there anything for me to read into here?
She won't think you're gay but you'll be solidified as a friend forever if you don't make a move.
I wouldn't just randomly try to start kissing her or start feeling up her shirt if you watch a movie, but try to see how she reacts to things and how she sits. That's how I know when I can make a move on a girl.
When I start dating a new girl some things I look for to know if I should kiss her:
When you sit down with her, let her sit first and then sit next to her. See how sit sits.. such as does she move her body away from you? If she does that it's not a good sign.
When you're talking to her, naturally touch her hand and see how she reacts. If she doesn't mind it's good.
A little later keep your hand there a little longer and see how she reacts. If she pulls her hand away you might have a problem. What I do with this is if she asks me a question I will act like I'm trying to think but put my hand on her hand.
Next I'll do the same thing, but on her leg.
If she seems comfortable with all of that, you're in.
It's usually pretty obvious by their body language.
1st off, you obviously have interest, otherwise you wouldn't make this post.
As a general rule of thumb with women, you can never tell by their actions/signals if they are interested, but you can tell if they are not interested.
For example, if you asked her on the trip and she agreed and then later on backed out for no good reason, CLEARLY not interested.
However, if she invited you, made all the plans, and talked about nothing but the trip for months, she could still be shocked when you made a move that you might think she had any interest.
I understand about you thinking she's out of your league, but you'll have the opportunity. And you're only 22. So things like money and career and have yet to come into play in terms of separating leagues even further.
Honestly, I would have made it clear I was interested in her before agreeing to go on the trip. You could ask after the trip, but that might make things hard on you if she rejects you.
I would do after.
02-23-2014, 01:46 PM
Guest
n/a posts
You owe it to yourself to go for it.
The question is 'how'?
Just nice and easy. Ease into it and give yourself an out should you be reprieved. Talk, but more importantly, lean in! Simply lean in, closing the physical distance, but don't initiate first, explicit, contact! Make her take the last step, just make sure you lead her to it, haha.
But you won't be denied, regardless. She's a 21 year old female alone with a man.
Why are you messing with 8s? Will you not marry a 10? Wouldn't your wife want you to think she's a 10?
Since you're the one guy who hasn't tried to get in her pants the past two years, she's probably got some respect for you, and digs that about you.
This! She doesn't think you're gay. She's been observing you over the years (while she was in a relationship, so she couldn't get too friendly), and had decided you're a Good Guy (she's tired of that sleazoid, aggressive attention you mentioned), probably smart and responsible, maybe kinda fun, and she wants to get to know you better. A week-long getaway is a heck of a first move, but...whatever. Go with the flow. Enjoy. And forget about the league thing.
What's more straight forward than "Hey you, want to spend spring break alone with me?"
I think he means, she'd have shoved her boobs in his face, or something. Gotten all coy, or whatever. Hit him over the head with major signals.
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