Is this only a dream? (dating, married, women, love)

[k374]

I am a 40 year old man. Traits that's describe me would be:
- decent looking and in-shape albeit a bit on the shorter side (5'7 145lbs)
- financially stable (no debt, great career, well educated, good income, substantial savings)
- many diverse hobbies, i'm definitely more on the adventurous side
- well read, well traveled and can carry a conversation on many topics

My ideal woman would be someone who has similar traits including the following:

- someone I find at least moderately attractive, is in shape, wears heels regularly (I have a thing for them even though I am short!!
- someone who is financially stable and responsible (extremely important as I am quite anal about my finances and my financial goals - meaning good credit score (mine is 830!!!), ample savings, I don't so much care about absolute income as I care about living within one's means and expectations should match income
- pretty simple and down to earth and not into materialism, spends their money more on substance and things of meaning to them than to show off
- Easy to get along with and no emotional baggage (no jealously issues, no clingyness etc.)
- Shares my love for the outdoors - hiking, water sports, travel etc.
- Has no issues showing and receiving lots of affection (holding hands, hugging etc.) because I like that a lot
- Open to having kids

I am finding it exceptionally difficult to find any woman who matches all of my criteria. Am I expecting too much or is there something wrong with what I am doing? I do find women matching some of the criteria but not all. If they are adventurous then they have some serious financial issues, if they are financially great then they have serious emotional baggage, this is just so frustrating.

I am currently in a relationship with a girl who is great but she is emotionally troubled and has family drama, has debts, is quite a bit overweight, does not wear heels LOL although she would be pretty attractive if she lost weight, is a bit insecure and clingy at times. Pros are she is incredibly affectionate, shares the love for the outdoors with me and is very adventurous, extremely good with kids, good cook.

What do I do? Should I move on and keep looking for the perfect one or is compromise the only option?

[the minx]

I think you figure out what's most important to you and go from there. If you're questioning whether you should move on, you probably should.

When you find someone you really click with, none of that will matter.

[moejackson]

do online dating. there are women in your age range +/-8yrs who who offer more with less relationship burden.

[BirdieBelle]

Would you want her to write those things about you on an online forum, and then just stay with you because she was afraid she couldn't do better??

[k374]

Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life

Would you want her to write those things about you on an online forum, and then just stay with you because she was afraid she couldn't do better??

Definitely not, however I am just trying to understand my own expectations and if those expectations are realistic. If my requirements are so high that I am trying to chase 5% of the available women in the population then the chances would be incredibly slim that I would ever find my perfect match.

Personally I think my expectations are very normal as they match what I have to offer myself, however I may have a biased view on things and feedback from others is always helpful!

[intelfan11315]

Originally Posted by k374

Definitely not, however I am just trying to understand my own expectations and if those expectations are realistic. If my requirements are so high that I am trying to chase 5% of the available women in the population then the chances would be incredibly slim that I would ever find my perfect match.

Personally I think my expectations are very normal as they match what I have to offer myself, however I may have a biased view on things and feedback from others is always helpful!

I don't know you, but if you don't think any women out there like that can possibly exist then it's possible you need to do something better to attract them. You're obviously doing something wrong.

[BirdieBelle]

You are setting yourself up for failure.

Any time you approach relationships with a shallow "checklist" mentality, you will never be satisfied because there will ALWAYS be something that didn't get checked.

Besides, when you fall in LOVE, you get qualities you didn't KNOW you wanted. And if you don't consider people because they don't check off your list, you will never know that.

And good luck finding someone with NO emotional baggage.

[animalcrazy]

Do you want a woman or some Stepford fantasy? We are all flawed and imperfect. You never mentioned anything about chemistry. Have you ever been hit between the eyes by someone you knew you just had to be with? Or have you ignored it because of some crazy check list? The funny thing about baggage and debt is it can all be fixed with a little effort and compromise. You remind me of the people that paid hundreds of dollars for my Yorkie nightmare Joey and threw him away because of the effort and patience needed to house break him. Yes it was a lot of work but so worth it every time his smiling eyes and happy tail greet me every morning with my older best dog ever. Relationships aren't much different. They may start out flawed and imperfect but with some love and patience may evolve into something spectacular. Stop being so rigid and try being a little more human. Let it go, set it free.

[bob the brave]

i rock cliimbing instructor once a bit smaller than you. He lived the outdoors and married a doctor. I didn't get to meet her but he was a very confident, likable guy.

[HighPSI]

There's probably not a huge list of girls out there looking to breed with a short 40 year old to be honest. However there's 170 million of them in this country so there's no point in staying with one that's not the one for you. It's not fair to either of you!