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Good grief. This is the most depressing thread ever!
Yes, I've said it a gazillion times on here.
depressing why? Because we feel the way we do and it doesn't meet with your feelings?
Yanno, just because you think one way and we think another, doesn't make you right and us wrong, what it means is, we don't have to live up to anyone else's expectations, like yours for instance.
Waking up at the end of someone else's idea of what they think a marriage should be, is something I will never ever do again, and when you get to be our age, you will most certainly understand.
No far from depressing, just what is good for me, and how I live my life.
It's like the people at work
What time do you get up in the morning?
4 a.m.
Oh MY God, what time do you go to bed
Between 7 - 9.
And then they look at you like your some weirdo, they are indeed people who are unable to understand, that not everyone likes to do what they do, doesn't make them weird or different, simply put, it is who they are....but society doesn't understand that, and shun people who are not trendy.
I've never been one to follow trends....I want what everyone else doesn't have....
The question to remarry or even get into a relationship has crossed my mind on occasion over the years, but ultimately I keep saying "no" to that question.
A little background. I watched my parents divorce and get all bound up in their new relationships that took precedence over raising me...I was basically left to my own devices while they pursued and tried to hang on to second/third marriages. I was married in 1985 to a lady who had a 2 year old, so instantly I was a husband and father. 1992 my son was born. 1994 my wife decided the grass was greener on the other side of the fence and left me with her son and our son to raise as a full-time father. Now because of my experience with my parents, I vowed to concentrate on raising the boys rather than develop a new relationship with a woman. Zoom forward to the present day, and my youngest son has just moved out of the house on his own. I have spent the last 30 years raising kids and having that responsibility for 20 of those years, 24 hours a day on my own.
Do I see a relationship in my future? Would I even be open to that idea after being independent and "on my own" for so long? I believe the answer has to be "No". I see a bright future ahead of me, great job, great benefits, housekeeper once a week (what a luxury!!!), no responsibility other than to myself and a blissfully quiet home with abundant time on my hands for hobbies, adventures and freedom. I have a hard time comprehending how adding a relationship and all that encompasses to the mix would make a positive difference in my life.
I will never marry again. I no longer even have the desire to date. I come from the generation and location in which women were expected to not only care for the family and home but bring in the bacon. And I did so thru two marriages.
After my last divorce I didn't think much about dating. I figured at my age, where I lived there wouldn't be anyone wanting to date me and it had been so long I wouldn't even know how. I did start to date and got in another relationship. Didn't like it. I admit my marriages were not very good ones so Im probably biased but it seems that every man I meet either stepped out of the 1950's or has some sort of mental/personality disorder.
Like many of the other female posters, I am happy without a partner. I did my time as a caregiver. I love my solitude when I can get it. I don't want to share my home, consider the needs of an SO or make concessions and adjust my life, anymore.
Don't get me wrong I love men but Im a bit of a nurturer by nature and I believe that is one reason I suck at finding relationship material.
I have my friends, family, my sons and grandsons who are still very much up my behind so finding my solitude is difficult sometimes but I guess it fulfills my need to be nurturing without getting into a crappy relationship.
I will never marry again. I no longer even have the desire to date. I come from the generation and location in which women were expected to not only care for the family and home but bring in the bacon. And I did so thru two marriages.
After my last divorce I didn't think much about dating. I figured at my age, where I lived there wouldn't be anyone wanting to date me and it had been so long I wouldn't even know how. I did start to date and got in another relationship. Didn't like it. I admit my marriages were not very good ones so Im probably biased but it seems that every man I meet either stepped out of the 1950's or has some sort of mental/personality disorder.
Like many of the other female posters, I am happy without a partner. I did my time as a caregiver. I love my solitude when I can get it. I don't want to share my home, consider the needs of an SO or make concessions and adjust my life, anymore.
Don't get me wrong I love men but Im a bit of a nurturer by nature and I believe that is one reason I suck at finding relationship material.
I have my friends, family, my sons and grandsons who are still very much up my behind so finding my solitude is difficult sometimes but I guess it fulfills my need to be nurturing without getting into a crappy relationship.
yes, indeedy, I love men to and would rather sit and listen to a bunch of man stories then woman, although I do have good women friends, so shhhhhh, don't tell them I said that...
anyway, men are great story tellers....but I just am so comfortable in my skin, that I just wouldn't want to share anymore, I've grown selfish and have learned to tell people off.
Yanno, at one time in my life, I was trying to break up with someone, I met in him in a park to tell him it was over, and I kissed him good-bye b/c I feared hurting his feelings....imagine, he treated me so wrong, but yet, I feared hurting his feelings....shhheeesh.
then when I got home he called, and he still didn't get it, so I got nasty, now, it wouldn't take much for me to speak my mind....but I was such a wimp, naieve and very trusting...Gosh....and when I loved, I loved very much, was loyal and happy being married, for while, and was told that I was a good wife, and there wasn't anything I couldn't do if I put my mind to it. He told me to believe that, no matter what....and I finally did. LOL
Life is so good and such a good teacher....the bigger picture is amazing and God is Good.
I will never marry again. I no longer even have the desire to date. I come from the generation and location in which women were expected to not only care for the family and home but bring in the bacon. And I did so thru two marriages.
After my last divorce I didn't think much about dating. I figured at my age, where I lived there wouldn't be anyone wanting to date me and it had been so long I wouldn't even know how. I did start to date and got in another relationship. Didn't like it. I admit my marriages were not very good ones so Im probably biased but it seems that every man I meet either stepped out of the 1950's or has some sort of mental/personality disorder.
Like many of the other female posters, I am happy without a partner. I did my time as a caregiver. I love my solitude when I can get it. I don't want to share my home, consider the needs of an SO or make concessions and adjust my life, anymore.
Don't get me wrong I love men but Im a bit of a nurturer by nature and I believe that is one reason I suck at finding relationship material.
I have my friends, family, my sons and grandsons who are still very much up my behind so finding my solitude is difficult sometimes but I guess it fulfills my need to be nurturing without getting into a crappy relationship.
I could have written this about my own life!
I think women who have had unsatisfying relationships like myself and some of my friends have just come to the conclusion that the benefits of staying single are worth too much to jeopardize by remarrying. At my age I don't need the drama and the extra work. I enjoy my own company, have a good relationship with my kids and now have 2 grandchildren in my life. Also my 4 dogs. It's all good....no way would I take another gamble on a relationship.
Also my 4 dogs. It's all good....no way would I take another gamble on
a relationship.
That's another thing. Im a bit of an animal lover and both husbands either felt they had the right to tell me if I could take in an animal or I had to make concessions. I realize in a relationship those things need to be discussed and there needs to be a mutual decision, but being single I don't have to consider someone else's opinion. If I want to take in a rescue, I will. If I want the dog to sleep in the bed, it will. My second DH actually lied about be allergic to cats, so I got rid of mine.
My last bf complained all the time about my farm animals although he knew about them, obviously, when we started dating. He would even go behind my back and set up a sale.
2mares
My last bf complained all the time about my farm animals although he knew about them, obviously, when we started dating. He would even go behind my back and set up a sale.
well, I gotta say and I mean this, thank you to everyone who participated in this thread, I really enjoyed it, and enjoyed reading all of you, this is exactly what a thread should be like, free to express your feelings on a subject without any fear what so ever, that someone is going to take your post, personal and come in an hammer you for feeling the way you do...this was enjoyable.
Thank you !!!
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