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Same here, not going into the full details, but, during my request for a separation, the judge specifically asked for any request of me financially of my ex and I said I wanted nothing but to be no longer connected in any way whatsoever, same when time for signing papers for the divorce. Just wanted finality to the marriage and any interactions with the ex, nothing more..
I did the same thing, I got the car, I felt he worked very hard for everything and I left him have it all...just wanted out of the marriage....signed the papers and even gave him all of the furniture and the savings....nothing wrong with that, rather that then be known as a gold digger who cleaned out my husband b/c I was bitter or used my son to hurt him, no way. It was over, we were ok with that...
My attorney didn't want me to sign off on his social security but I did....I didn't want to use our mistake as a way to gain....I gained enough, and learned a lot....and sorry to say, he married a woman who is truly evil...a real nut case and I do feel sorry for him.
Yes you are, the dominant sentiment of this thread is that old radical feminist saying that,
"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."
According to the attitude on this and other threads on CD, we older men are said to be beasts because, choose as many as you like:
We get old.
We develop health issues.
We lose our looks.
We do not stay in shape.
We demand sex too often, or
We screw our secretaries, or
We are no longer able to screw anyone.
We play golf too often.
We go fishing too often.
We go bowling too often.
We spend too much time away from home, or
We spend too much time at home and get in the way and get on a woman's nerves.
We do not make or have enough money.
We spend too much money on trivial things.
We make money, but do not spend enough on her, we are cheapskates.
We never help out or do anything around the house.
We never pick up after ourselves, drop our clothes all over, and leave a mess wherever we go.
We pee on the toilet seat or on the floor.
We expect a woman to always wait on us hand and foot at a moment's notice.
We do not give a woman the emotional intimacy, affection, closeness, and warmth that she needs.
We never take her anyplace she wants to go.
We seek out another woman late in life only because we want, "A nurse, a purse, and a housekeeper."
As a presently unattached older male, on the above list, about the only thing that myself, and many, many other older men are guilty of, is getting older, and perhaps, loosing our looks a bit and getting a few minor health problems. The blatant cynicism and accusations hurled by bitter women are infuriating to those of us that do not deserve them.
One of the common complaints expressed by these women is whining that they "Are tired of taking care of a man." Excuse me, but isn't that what you do in a close relationship, take care of each other? He takes care of you, and you take care of him? It would seem that these self centered women feel entitled to all the benefits and advantages of a close relationship with a man, while at the same time not assuming any of the responsibilities or obligations. You want a man in your life but not in your house? You wish to do just what you choose to do, when, where, and how you want, without having to answer to or consult with a man? Sorry, but that is not how a partnership works. Yes, you both have your individual interests, friends that you keep company with, and freedoms, but your partner always gets top priority. This "I want to have my cake and eat it too" attitude is childish and doesn't work.
Over on the Retirement forum there are also a few threads on this topic, with some of the women also stating that they prefer to stay alone. However, there are also posts from ladies commenting that they would indeed like to re marry, but that there is a shortage of suitable available older men, the old "All the good ones are taken" complaint.
Finally, sadly, there is one word in this entire thread that has been mentioned only very sparingly.That word is Love. Marriage, close relationships, dating, and companionship, have been discussed as if they were merely a business arrangement, interviewing a prospective tenant, or agreeing to associate with each other due to a common interest. Don't men and women still marry each other, regardless of how old they may be, because they love each other? Or am I just an old sentimentalist, out of touch with the times, that believes in this?
Hilarious list! And I think the mentality behind the "don't want to take care of a man" complaint comes from seeing too many men who are already aged and infirm who just want to marry a young nurse to see them through their final years. You know, look perky and have plenty of energy for selfless service to a curmudgeon with failing faculties. There are definitely those out there. In other words, women don't want to get stuck on a one-way street.
Just saying. Otherwise, all your points are excellent!
Hilarious list! And I think the mentality behind the "don't want to take care of a man" complaint comes from seeing too many men who are already aged and infirm who just want to marry a young nurse to see them through their final years. You know, look perky and have plenty of energy for selfless service to a curmudgeon with failing faculties. There are definitely those out there. In other words, women don't want to get stuck on a one-way street.
Just saying. Otherwise, all your points are excellent!
well, by his list, it seems to me, that is something he made up from hearing it from some one else....
we touched on 2 or 3 on his list jokingly, but I didn't read any woman's post in here to say all those things or any man's post in here....I believe there are other reason's behind his anger...sorry to say...
Its a good thread Cremebrulee. Thank you for starting it. Its nice to have threads aimed more towards us seasoned posters.
thanks hun, greatly appreciate....I know my girl friends and a few guy friends would love joining in, but I don't want them to know I'm posting here, shhhhhhh. LOL
seriously, I've enjoyed it as well...can't wait to see my one friend who just came back from vacation with her man friend, we talked on the phone and she was so happy, they had such a good time, and yanno what she said, "its' so wonderful to have this kind of relationship b/c we appreciate each other so much more when we see each other". They have both discussed it....and believe you me, when she first met him, I didn't like him, he treated her awful. But, he was cheated on and feared trusting again, he was really afraid, so they parted for a while, and whoooo hoooo, you should see how nice he treats her...OMG, what a difference. I'm so happy for them and cannot wait to hear all about their fun time. Ajnd btw, she is a real hoot, he enjoys her and appreciates her sense of humor.
I don't dislike men, I happen to love them, but, just like my gal friends, I don't want them up in my face 24/7 any more than the other. I'd love to have fun times with a guy that would enjoy time out just as I do with the girls and then go the, high horse on their way home after we're all funned out just like with the girls. But yes, we'd do some stuff I don't do with the girls friends, I would think my guy friend would find that a bonus. But, noooooooooo, try finding that combo without locking onto the whole ball and chain. J/k, don't mean it in a harsh way. I'm just too old and tired for the challenge of a commitment.
Honestly, I've lost too many loved ones over the past few years, I just don't have the energy to get that attached to anyone, plus, I don't have the patience for a lot of nonsense IRL. I just don't have the desire to go out on dates and play the head games that come along with the process. Last man I was seeing, meaningfully, I wasn't able to sleep comfortably in the same bed all night during his visits. To think there was a time, we had planned to live together. During his visits, I'd count the minutes till it was time for him to leave and still I did/do care about him. I get bored with most people pretty easily, including myself; I rarely enjoy hearing myself talk more than five minutes.
I'm not relationship material, I'll admit, I'm too fragile in some ways stronger in many others, but comfortable with how things are and prefer not to change them. I imagine somewhere in the universe there exist a man that I would possibly reset my mind and open myself up to, but, more than likely, I'll purposely sabotage it. And I'm good with that thought though I know many think I shouldn't be. Too damn old to care.
To the rest of you, enjoy the process, I had my fun dating days, did a whole heck of a lot of it, way more than many, so, I'm good, though, a 101 more steamy nights would do a body good.
Yes you are, the dominant sentiment of this thread is that old radical
feminist saying that,
"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."
Well no Im not and sorry you take it that way. My post was specific to my relationships. I don't see this as a gender issue and would like to hear more experiences from the male posters. A few male posters are shy of marriage due to financial and emotional damage from divorce, one experienced the same so many female posters have in having been the primary caretaker during his marriage.
Quote:
According to the attitude on this and other threads on CD, we older men are
said to be beasts because, choose as many as you like:
We get old.
We develop health issues.
We lose our looks.
We do not stay in shape.
We demand sex too often, or
We screw our secretaries,
or We are no longer able to screw anyone.
We play golf too often.
We go fishing too often.
We go bowling too often.
We spend too much time away from home, or We spend too much time at home and get in the way and get on a woman's nerves.
We do not make or have enough money.
We spend too much money on trivial things.
We make money, but do not spend enough on her, we are cheapskates.
We never help out or do anything around the house.
We never pick up after ourselves, drop our clothes all over, and leave a mess wherever we go.
We pee on the toilet seat or on the floor.
We expect a woman to always wait on us hand and foot at a moment's notice.
We do not give a woman the emotional intimacy, affection, closeness, and warmth that she needs.
We never take her anyplace she wants to go.
We seek out another woman late in life only because we want, "A nurse, a
purse, and a housekeeper."
Not sure where you came up with that but I choose: We never pick up after ourselves, drop our clothes all over, and leave a mess wherever we go. and We expect a woman to always wait on us hand and foot at a moment's notice. But that applies to the men that I have had in my life. Im well aware not all men are this way and that many women are.
Quote:
As a presently unattached older male, on the above list, about the only thing
that myself, and many, many other older men are guilty of, is getting older, and
perhaps, loosing our looks a bit and getting a few minor health problems. The
blatant cynicism and accusations hurled by bitter women are infuriating to those
of us that do not deserve them.
We are discussing our personal experiences, our real relationships and its your list not ours. It would be nice if we could not make this a gender issue thread.
Quote:
One of the common complaints expressed by these women is whining that they "Are
tired of taking care of a man." Excuse me, but isn't that what you do in a close
relationship, take care of each other? He takes care of you, and you take care
of him? It would seem that these self centered women feel entitled to all the
benefits and advantages of a close relationship with a man, while at the same
time not assuming any of the responsibilities or obligations. You want a man in
your life but not in your house? You wish to do just what you choose to do,
when, where, and how you want, without having to answer to or consult with a
man? Sorry, but that is not how a partnership works. Yes, you both have your
individual interests, friends that you keep company with, and freedoms, but your
partner always gets top priority. This "I want to have my cake and eat it too"
attitude is childish and doesn't work.
Yes, sorry but that is how some of us feel later in life and after marriage. We already did that once or twice. Im not sure why you take such offense at that. We don't want a partnership at this point in our lives. What is wrong with that. There are as many men out there that feel the same way.
Quote:
Don't men and women still marry each other, regardless of how old they may be,
because they love each other? Or am I just an old sentimentalist, out of touch
with the times, that believes in this
I guess your just an old sentimentalist. Nothing wrong with that.
I don't dislike men, I happen to love them, but, just like my gal friends, I don't want them up in my face 24/7 any more than the other. I'd love to have fun times with a guy that would enjoy time out just as I do with the girls and then go the, high horse on their way home after we're all funned out just like with the girls. But yes, we'd do some stuff I don't do with the girls friends, I would think my guy friend would find that a bonus. But, noooooooooo, try finding that combo without locking onto the whole ball and chain. J/k, don't mean it in a harsh way. I'm just too old and tired for the challenge of a commitment.
Honestly, I've lost too many loved ones over the past few years, I just don't have the energy to get that attached to anyone, plus, I don't have the patience for a lot of nonsense IRL. I just don't have the desire to go out on dates and play the head games that come along with the process. Last man I was seeing, meaningfully, I wasn't able to sleep comfortably in the same bed all night during his visits. To think there was a time, we had planned to live together. During his visits, I'd count the minutes till it was time for him to leave and still I did/do care about him. I get bored with most people pretty easily, including myself; I rarely enjoy hearing myself talk more than five minutes.
I'm not relationship material, I'll admit, I'm too fragile in some ways stronger in many others, but comfortable with how things are and prefer not to change them. I imagine somewhere in the universe there exist a man that I would possibly reset my mind and open myself up to, but, more than likely, I'll purposely sabotage it. And I'm good with that thought though I know many think I shouldn't be. To damn old to care.
To the rest of you, enjoy the process, I had my fun dating days, did a whold heck of a lot of it, way more than many, so I'm good, though, a 101 more steamy nights would do a body good.
Same here, but not just with men, but with my girl friends as well. I'm a loner, and sometimes I have to keep them at bay, and tell them, no...remember when we were young and we had to be with our girlfriends all the time, well, that wasn't for me, didn't enjoy it, to much of a good thing, yanno.
So, it isn't just about feeling this way about men, but I will say this, I love men, but find it necessary to be with my girlfriends, there is a bond there that cannot be compared, and I'm unable to explain it, but we all get it....
Yanno, I was dating a guy, the last man I dated, and told him, "yanno, it's not just about sex, there is something about a relationship that can be spiritual without the sex, if it is a good match. But he didn't get that.....
How do you feel about that?
oft times I used to say, I wish to find a man, who was like some of my girl friends...that closeness, to know without knowing....to feel without feeling....to share what we feel....like my girl friends and I do.
First let me preface this by saying I adore my husband and we have a great life together. If anything happened to him I would be very sad. He however, says he wouldn't want live if anything happened to me. I think therein lies the difference between men and women. I'm 50, I have spent almost my entire adult life from the age of 18, involved in some way, shape or form with a man. I just couldn't be bothered doing it all over again with yet another guy. Keeping a lover is the most I would want.
First let me preface this by saying I adore my husband and we have a great life together. If anything happened to him I would be very sad. He however, says he wouldn't want live if anything happened to me. I think therein lies the difference between men and women. I'm 50, I have spent almost my entire adult life from the age of 18, involved in some way, shape or form with a man. I just couldn't be bothered doing it all over again with yet another guy. Keeping a lover is the most I would want.
me neither, but I couldn't live with a woman either...in every single relationshiip you have, there is give and take....and it's just so nice to be alone, and see my friends once in a while. We talk about going on a vacation together, but always warn them, if we do that, if I don't want to go along with the gang, I don't want anyone getting insulted or angry, b/c it's my vacation to, and don't want to feel obligated to do what you want to do....so be prepared to venture out on your own if you so want to....
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a 101 more steamy nights would do a body good. 
