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When I do cold approach I usually strike up a conversation in line or with someone sitting near me. Usually talk about something contextual. If the convo goes well I ask them if they want to get Starbucks or something like that. How do you feel about being approached by strangers?
I prefer it. Matter of fact, where I grew up, guys approached women all the time in real life, walking on the street, in the market, you name it.
But it must be from a certain type of guy. Someone that has finesse and manners. If you are a hoodlum, it will be a turn off.
When I do cold approach I usually strike up a conversation in line or with someone sitting near me. Usually talk about something contextual. If the convo goes well I ask them if they want to get Starbucks or something like that. How do you feel about being approached by strangers?
This is what we've been advising people to do all along. This is what some women expect or hope for when they go to the store, a random approach in this manner. How does it work out for you? Some of our male posters who are too shy to approach women might like to know.
A woman is telling you how that approach makes her feel, and you're arguing her feelings?
In the dating world, you need to care about the impression you're creating and how you're being perceived by another, just as much, if not more so, than how you feel and what you're hoping to get from that person.
You're not looking to get anything out of her. You're simply testing to see if their is mutual interest.
and I'm still confused about this approach/impression thing? Is it now creepy to talk to any women ever with the intention that you guys *GASP* might make good dating partners?
maybe i'm missing something but what line? The OP simply asked if it was okay to ask for a number/coffee date if the conversation goes well.
This line:
Quote:
So I find you attractive and I'd like to buy you coffee
Yes, that is what many men feel passes for "approach conversation." Nothing more awesome than being seen as a piece of packaged meat in the deli section.
Quote:
To be fair...this is how nature works 99% of the time. Of course we don't care about your marital status, your intelligence, your sexual orientation..we don't know you! If a problem arises we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. We like your looks and we'd like to talk to you, that's all!
Not in my experience. People care very, very much about those things. Which it is why it is a good idea to talk to someone in a friendly way, with no expectations, before asking for a number or a date.
It's is not "nature," it is civilized human socialization.
I prefer it. Matter of fact, where I grew up, guys approached women all the time in real life, walking on the street, in the market, you name it.
But it must be from a certain type of guy. Someone that has finesse and manners. If you are a hoodlum, it will be a turn off.
I agree. Where I'm from, this is perfectly normal. Unfortunately, other parts of the US aren't so friendly.
This is what we've been advising people to do all along. This is what some women expect or hope for when they go to the store, a random approach in this manner. How does it work out for you? Some of our male posters who are too shy to approach women might like to know.
I just find something to talk about and then take the conversation to a personal level. If she's liking it I then ask for her number and say "we should hang out sometime"
I just find something to talk about and then take the conversation to a personal level. If she's liking it I then ask for her number and say "we should hang out sometime"
What I meant was, do you get positive results? How often do you get a number or a date from this approach?
Not in my experience. People care very, very much about those things. Which it is why it is a good idea to talk to someone in a friendly way, with no expectations, before asking for a number or a date.
It's is not "nature," it is civilized human socialization.
if there's an issue it is the woman's responsibility to bring it up. Women are intelligent, they usually know you're not asking them out because you want to be their friend. If they are gay, married, have a bf..they are simply not going to give out their number. Asking things like "are you single" will just make the man appear less confident/needy.
caring is creepy. When you first meet someone the conversation should be very light..maybe hobbies, interests, what does your schedule like..etc. For the love of God you should not be discussing your sexual orientation, your religion, your ex.
Like I said, If something needs to be said she'll tell you/not give her number out.
"I find you attractive and I'd like to buy you coffee" This was not a line! It was a thought..I would never compliment a woman's physical appearance until I got to know her better. It would be more like "Hey we should get coffee sometime, what's your schedule like?"
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