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Loves, I don't think he feels like he "made a mistake". Not at all. He said he simply has fallen back in love with this person (in a matter of about 3 weeks) and wants to be with her. I know them pretty well. And there has been a few stressful events in the last couple of years. One that I was personally involved with. I told them at the time to get counseling even though the issue was not a "marital" one. ( It involved one of their sons.). But he refused to consider it . They have always been each orher's rock. It's just so damn sad.
Do your best to encourage him to speak to a therapist.
And tell his wife not to panic or draw lines in the sand if she wants to save her marriage. It is possible if he doesn't feel backed into a corner he would have time to think this through better once the emotions die down a little and he gets an unbiased perspective.
Do your best to encourage him to speak to a therapist.
And tell his wife not to panic or draw lines in the sand if she wants to save her marriage. It is possible if he doesn't feel backed into a corner he would have time to think this through better once the emotions die down a little and he gets an unbiased perspective.
No it's done. He's making plans to leave already. There is no changing his mind. I'm headed there this weekend. I really don't want to see him because I'm afraid of what I will say.
I would have never married the women I was with if I felt this way about anyone
I have no real loose ends that would lead me back to anyone and my doorway is shut to further involvement if anyone ever did decide I was some special kind of lover they needed back.
Last edited by rego00123; 06-03-2014 at 04:33 PM..
Loves, I don't think he feels like he "made a mistake". Not at all. He said he simply has fallen back in love with this person (in a matter of about 3 weeks) and wants to be with her.
That sounds like he just wants to relive his youth (high school) or redo his life over again in some way. I would think it's probably more about that than it is about the actual woman. She can't be that great that he'd just decide to leave a perfectly happy and fulfilling marriage (if it truly was one).
Loves, I don't think he feels like he "made a mistake". Not at all. He said he simply has fallen back in love with this person (in a matter of about 3 weeks) and wants to be with her. He was actually married to another woman, but divorced, before meeting his current wife. I know them pretty well. And there has been a few stressful events in the last couple of years. One that I was personally involved with. I told them at the time to get counseling even though the issue was not a "marital" one. ( It involved one of their sons.). But he refused to consider it . They have always been each orher's rock. It's just so damn sad. 27 years.
You know, here's the thing about lovers.
Lovers don't ask you to take out the garbage.
Lovers aren't needing your help with the kids.
Lovers aren't asking you to pay the cable bill.
Lovers aren't forcing you to go to their parent's house on Sunday.
Lovers don't tell you to pick up your socks.
Lovers don't drape their underwear on the rail of the shower curtain.
Lovers don't nag you, for the fourth time today, to mow the grass already.
Lovers don't roll over and turn out the light because they're not in the mood.
Lovers don't do any of those things. No, they are always ready to go and always into you. They are less a living, breathing person than an embodiment of what love should be, an idealized image where nothing goes wrong, no one disagrees, and it's just rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns at all times.
So when your acquaintance encountered trouble in his life, he looked at this other person and saw nothing but beauty and life, with him at the center of it all. He really needs to be disabused of this fantasy and understand that the world will continue spinning on its axis and that his troubles will multiply, not divide, if he goes through with this.
No it's done. He's making plans to leave already. There is no changing his mind. I'm headed there this weekend. I really don't want to see him because I'm afraid of what I will say.
Just as long as you realize nothing you could say to him would make much of a dent right now.
Later he'll be in a world of hurt when he realizes how he's nuked his life
There is no "one who got away," for me. Anybody I've been in a relationship with, that relationship ended for definite reasons. No pining for the past in my life.
Doesn't work when you've only been with one person. Sigh
LOL. Me too. But this special boy that made me feel something I've never felt again in my life is pretty special to me.
I doubt he will have any interest in me coz he never did when we were 10. What more that he has his own family. And he got fugly anyway. And he still lives in our country. I'm here in US.
But if for some miracle we cross paths and we are both single well OMG yes I would do him errr, ya, LOL. I don't care if he got fugly. But if either one of us is married or both married, if we ever cross paths, nope I am loyal and not a home wrecker like that.
People I dated more than 20 years ago? No...lol
The ONLY time I ever think of them is when one of these types of threads pops up.
I have no idea where they are now and I can't say I'm even curious about what they are doing in their lives currently. If one of them contacted me I'd have a good laugh, because 20+yrs later, I'm sure I'm not even a blip on their radar either.
I didn't even like them that much back then...there was no "love" until I met my husband.
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