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I'm a virgin (and almost 25)... is that a bad sign for a guy? Haha. I'm curious, I'm not looking to date as I'm trying to move and have given up on dating (single for 5 years)... but I want to know what a guy or guys think about that.
In general, it's not a "bad" sign, but if you want the blunt answers, here's how a lot of guys would look at it, one of a few potential things to watch out for (or welcome if that's your thing) once you do decide to date:
-it makes you a worthy goal so they can take your virginity
-they may (correctly or incorrectly) assume you're not interested in sex and therefore frigid and/or potentially boring/stingy in bed
-they may assume you're the ultra-religious type (correctly or incorrectly) and feel you'd meet their goal of the "perfect Christian wife".
However, many guys will not care one way or another and treat you as any other woman.
The asexuality would be a bigger issue, certainly. If that is what you are, it is what you are. Nothing wrong with it, but dating will be indeed difficult.
I agree. Doesn't make you a "bad" person, but it's difficult. You could always try to seek out an asexual guy, but it appears, anecdotally, that among the heterosexual population at large, more women than men are asexual (but small as a percentage of either gender), so that's a tall order.
5. Has more dude friends than chick friends. Always a red flag and never a good sign.
6. Constantly talks about her past relationships/boyfriends
7. She likes country music.
#5 can go either way, in my experience.
If she has ALL male friends, or mostly, yeah, that's an issue. If she simply has relatively few friends of either gender (but those she has are very strong/long lasting) that's different. She may be, like many people, somewhat introverted and a bit "offbeat" in her personality.
It's a hard pill to swallow. I don't mind that she has guy friends, but if she's constantly hanging out with them without other females or me in the group I tend to think there's more going on. I mean, I know what her guy friends want..
Kinda jealous I suppose. I have female acquaintance that I chit chat with from time to time, but I wouldn't call them friends. They don't come over to my place and talk about stupid things and drink coffee or go on trips with me or anything. They're just nice people that are fun to talk to for 10-20 mins if I see them in my daily routine.
Honestly though, I think it's because I'm not into the tomboy type.
I think it's a little childish to call a red flag because someone listens to country music though.
I mean, I'm an Alt rock guy and I don't like country, but going dancing with chicks who love it is a lot of fun. They're still smart people.. music doesn't say everything about a person, some people just aren't into it.
I like "some" level of tomboy - my wife does some stuff like that. I like women who are feminine but if they shriek "eeeew gross" at everything, freak out if their hair is a bit messy or, God forbid, they BREAK A SWEAT, that's a turnoff, too.
I have some good female friends; however, they are all scattered around the U.S. Most of them are into the same sh*t I am into, stuff the vast majority of women are not into, and definitely not married women with children. Truth is, I have more in common with a subset of men than I do most women. Honestly, I wouldn't know what the hell to do when going out with a group of women. Girls night out? Like sushi? Sure. I like to eat. But girl bonding time? Eh. I do that stuff alone.
I don't even attempt to make mom friends. :shudder: They're often conservative, not necessarily in religion/politics, but in their demeanor and presentation, and uptight. And the same when my ex-husband was in the military. Stayed the hell away from all of that drama.
My wife has a group of close friends, but they all have something in common in that none of them were the "popular" type, not the "girly-girls" and not the "prom queen" type, either (not that they're not attractive, just not the popular type) in high school. Of course things change in adulthood, but her friends are the ex-jock girls, the nerds, the geeks, the offbeat types as I call them. Most of her friends she still has from high school and college were the science/engineering girls. Not sure if that makes sense.
In no particular order, these are the the things that'll instantly get a woman booted from my phone and my life:
1) Critical of me and those around her while not ever acknowledging her own faults
2) Angry, tempermental, screamy and generally emotionally unstable. All women are a little unstable, which I can handle, but some are just downright psycho.
3) Likes conflict and always has drama following her
4) Eating disorder - morbidly obese or deathly thin
5) Talks about her dumps and period all the time
6) Sublty tries to make you give up something you love (dog, motorcyles, religous beliefs etc...)
7) Princess attitude
8) Refuses to financially contribute to the relationship. I dont mind paying for everything during courtship but once we've had the "We have feelings for each other and dont want to see anyone else" talk, she needs to be an adult and start helping out. Doubly so if we've moved in together.
All good ones! Well #5 doesn't bother me that much if it's not in mixed company, but yeah, mostly agreed.
I have some good female friends; however, they are all scattered around the U.S. Most of them are into the same sh*t I am into, stuff the vast majority of women are not into, and definitely not married women with children. Truth is, I have more in common with a subset of men than I do most women. Honestly, I wouldn't know what the hell to do when going out with a group of women. Girls night out? Like sushi? Sure. I like to eat. But girl bonding time? Eh. I do that stuff alone.
I don't even attempt to make mom friends. :shudder: They're often conservative, not necessarily in religion/politics, but in their demeanor and presentation, and uptight. And the same when my ex-husband was in the military. Stayed the hell away from all of that drama.
My good female friends are scattered too... friends I've had since high school in a lot of cases. And like SuperDave's wife, most of mine are the non-girly girls or offbeat girls too. One of them moved closer to where I am recently, so I see her more often. My local friends are mostly guys because of the activities I participate in. Most of them are also married and love their wives or (if they are single) are 10 years younger than me and looking for women their own age, so I am not in the picture for them. I really am more like a sister to these guys.
And I find I have the same problem with mom friends too... it's not that there is anything wrong with them, but most of the women in my neighborhood with children my daughter age are the typical stay-at-home mom who's life revolves around kid events, PTA, etc. I hang out with them for the kid events I participate in or will sit and talk with them at the neighborhood pool in the evening. But try to talk to them about things that interest me like (for example) the latest Marvel movie and I end up chatting with their 8-year-old sons who also like Ironman, lol. And they won't even get in the pool for fear of messing up their hair (and I am not at the pool to sit there and bake in the sun... I swim laps, play games with the kids, or dive off the diving board, etc... basically the stuff the dads at the pool do).
My good female friends are scattered too... friends I've had since high school in a lot of cases. And like SuperDave's wife, most of mine are the non-girly girls or offbeat girls too. One of them moved closer to where I am recently, so I see her more often. My local friends are mostly guys because of the activities I participate in. Most of them are also married and love their wives or (if they are single) are 10 years younger than me and looking for women their own age, so I am not in the picture for them. I really am more like a sister to these guys.
And I find I have the same problem with mom friends too... it's not that there is anything wrong with them, but most of the women in my neighborhood with children my daughter age are the typical stay-at-home mom who's life revolves around kid events, PTA, etc. I hang out with them for the kid events I participate in or will sit and talk with them at the neighborhood pool in the evening. But try to talk to them about things that interest me like (for example) the latest Marvel movie and I end up chatting with their 8-year-old sons who also like Ironman, lol. And they won't even get in the pool for fear of messing up their hair (and I am not at the pool to sit there and bake in the sun... I swim laps, play games with the kids, or dive off the diving board, etc... basically the stuff the dads at the pool do).
My wife is a beautiful woman who "cleans up" well (her words, not mine) - she is the only mom at our local pool who actually gets in and swims with the kids - she silently mocks the ones afraid to get in...
She has great hair, BTW...the two aren't mutually exclusive.
You and my wife would get along famously, I think!
My wife is a beautiful woman who "cleans up" well (her words, not mine) - she is the only mom at our local pool who actually gets in and swims with the kids - she silently mocks the ones afraid to get in...
She has great hair, BTW...the two aren't mutually exclusive.
You and my wife would get along famously, I think!
Sounds like it!
One of my favorite activities at the pool (with other parents' permission of course) is to don my scuba pro jet fins, mask, and snorkel and give "dolphin rides" in the pool. I started doing it with my daughter (she sits on my back and I kick... with the fins on and no scuba gear to encumber me, I can reach some pretty intense speeds in the water). Other kids would see this and beg for a ride too. Like I said, I would always say, "if your mom or dad says it's okay."
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