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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
2) Do yourself a favor and look at her bookshelf. In particular, look for self-help psychology books. There's a scale to the things:
ONE BOOK -- Hey, that's okay. Self-awareness is important.
TWO BOOKS -- Sure. But she seems to be figuring things out about herself.
THREE BOOKS -- Hmmm. What's going on here?
FOUR BOOKS -- Okay. She's thrashing around, looking to resolve stuff like her Daddy fixation or her godawful decision making.
FIVE BOOKS OR MORE -- Run. Just run.
Any mental problem not treated or not stable: depression, bipolar, BPD, GAD, nobody's perfect but if you don't have your stuff together and don't want to seek help...well...you know the drill.
I can tolerate "high maintenance" if the girl is worth it.
Also the abuse of alcohol, partying every week, at thirty something...well...not for me as well. I'm not looking for a "church lady" either, but at 43, never married, I think I have my own thing together, so I expect nothing less.
I dunno about the rest but I want a potential wife and a mother of my unborn children, not some golddigger or crazy wife.
Balance is the key here. I don't want a dumb, but not a "con artist" either.
I don't have anything against divorcees, but I have found out, some divorced women come often with a "baggage" they aren't healed yet.
- def to go along with the comments about too much drama. My ex used to bag on about every guy or girl she came in contact with it seemed like. Someone was always out to flirt with her, jealous of her, etc, etc. It grew tiring pretty fast.
- disrespectful towards service people (waiters, bag boys, customer service reps, etc) to me this is a character issue
- highly dysfunctional parents sometimes is a red flag
- high maintenance and no concept of budgeting/money
- no sort of moral code/faith in a god
- heavy drinking/any sort of drug use
- too masculine
Attention ho, will always have one or two losers she's stringing along for free lunches, etc. and one or two actual "back-ups" who'll be ready to step in and "comfort" her the moment the two of you have a fight.
First one tells me she doesn't really respect men... doesn't respect their time, money, energy, emotions, etc. If she did she wouldn't let them puppy-dog around after her. And she can't respect me (or our relationship) that much if she's hanging out with dudes she's actually attracted to.
Everyone has a different view. More generally, i'd say that the earliest sign of a future train wreck is a person who doesn't respect your borders, or a person who repeatedly allows a partner to go over their declared borders. These two types often team up.
Run for the hills if you come across a girl who doesn't have a best friend or nucleus of girlfriends who she still sees.
These women tend to be needy, jealous, and untrusting in my experience. They are needy because they will need you to be their sole source of fun. They have no one to hang out with, so it's all you, you, you. On a weekend night, if you want to hang with your buds, they tend to feel like losers and jealous for not having anyone to go out with. They may even bombard you with questions about your nights events or even guilt trip you about leaving them at home while you and your boys go out to rage. They may develop trust issues because they wonder why you need to spend alone time with your buddies.
It's not hard to understand their mentality. These women don't tend to understand that guys need alone time to bond with their friends. Women that have friends understand these concepts.
Stay away from these women unless you like to be tied at the hip to her.
Last edited by latino_esq; 10-20-2014 at 08:38 AM..
Reason: editing
ONE BOOK -- Hey, that's okay. Self-awareness is important.
TWO BOOKS -- Sure. But she seems to be figuring things out about herself.
THREE BOOKS -- Hmmm. What's going on here?
FOUR BOOKS -- Okay. She's thrashing around, looking to resolve stuff like her Daddy fixation or her godawful decision making.
FIVE BOOKS OR MORE -- Run. Just run.
Along these lines, if one of those books is "Eat Pray Love"... it's time to escape and evade. You might have to make an excuse, feign a cell phone call, hurl yourself through a plate glass window, commit seppuku right there in front of her, etc. Look, just escape the situation pronto. However you do it, will be less painful that being around a woman who liked "Eat Pray Love".
Maybe you guys would be happier with..... other guys.
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