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Gah-bidge! Terrible if you're looking for anything serious. Leave it to my generation to be so ADD that determining who's good enough to date is a matter of swiping left or right.
You can lie about your age, but I don't see the point. Women in their 30s probably aren't excluding you due to your age. Also, since there are more younger people on Tinder, you're going to be shown more people in the younger end of your age range when browsing. If you really want to focus on the women closer to your own age, take the twenty somethings out of your search, even if just for a few days. (Yeah, I know you're tired of my advice. lol)
What's the point? It opens me up to far more opportunities, that's the point. There's very, very few women on the upper end of my current spectrum (I'm not interested in women from the Bon Jovi generation anyway), and I still keep those right around my current age. Keep in mind it's about showing up as a potential match, not what my search preferences are. It's all about mathematics.
Gah-bidge! Terrible if you're looking for anything serious. Leave it to my generation to be so ADD that determining who's good enough to date is a matter of swiping left or right.
Man, some people have trouble understanding where Tinder (or online dating, for that matter) fits into the courtship process... think it's positioned along way further than it is. It's the patio at a bar, the line at a grocery store, or whatever other cliché you want to use.
How is it any different than the random girl I set eyes on who glanced me back on Mill Ave. in days of yore? How was that different? You open a line of communication (chat or in person). If they're an idiot, terrible, or incompatible, you don't move forward. What did you do? Knock on doors with suitor surveys.
I right and left swipe with my brain every time I walk into a coffee shop.
See, I started to suspect that. That's what I can't stand about women (and men, for that matter) in-and-around my age: They're just horribly out of touch. It makes people hard to relate to. See, I personally feel like Tinder is already a bit old hat. Fact is, if the demographic is strongly downwind of me age-wise, it explains why I'm getting jack. It's not even that I'm too creepy old man for many, even most, I'm not even showing in their potential matches to begin with. The default age range setting for most women on Tinder would skim me off a lot of searches. A friend of mine recommended making a fake second Facebook profile and lie my age down enough to edge into the default search range of a slightly younger set of women.
BTW, I got a third match linking me to DateRapeMe.com. It's an effing joke.
You are probably right that you are being excluded due to age, that's a good possibility. I wouldn't recommend lying about your age for the sake of getting matches. At some point, you will meet up in person. I know why people lie on online dating, however; it does more damage than good. I would just use another dating service like OKC or POF. In those, it's not just pictures, but there is also a bio as well, but Tinder isn't probably the right one.
A woman that I met said that she went out with a guy who lied about his height which is probably the worst. Of course when they met she found out and walked out on him. IMO, I'd rather just tell the truth vs. meet up and have someone walk out and it be embarassing.
A guy I also know (so I'm telling both ends) met a woman who used very outdated photos and was at least 40lbs heavier than her old photos. He also bailed and was pretty rude about it, although lying is rude too.
It seems like you are looking at least for a serious girlfriend which is totally cool, nothing wrong with that, but if you lie that will probably kill any chances of that happening.
I hung out with a Tinder lady last night, and she's been by far the best Tinder experience I've had. We got matched back in March - I 'liked' her first and she 'liked' me right after, and then immediately messaged me. Within 10 minutes, I was following her on IG, Within 30 I had her number.
Found out she lived 5 minutes away from me, and we were talking on the phone the next day and hanging out within a week. We fell out in April (I was being my typical douchey self and she started to hang out with another guy) and then in June she texted me and we ended up hanging out again. We aren't dating, kinda FWB right now, I guess.
But no matter how this goes, I admire her for being a real woman. She didn't waste time with stupid games or by acting flaky. She was interested in me, messaged me first, gave me her number, etc, etc.
A lot of these women (and men, too) on these sites are too flaky, or try to do too much and end up wasting your time. But, that's just life.
From a man's standpoint, a good barometer is the phone number. If a girl does not give her phone number then 99.99% chance she is wasting your time. I can get meeting up in person taking awhile, but at the end of the day, giving your phone number to someone online isn't more risky than some creepy guy at the bars. It's just a phone number, not your address.
I don't think meeting up is that big of a deal either as long as it's in a public place. I can say this at least from a man's standpoint, the longer you wait to ask out a woman, esp if she is still online, the more likely you will get beat out by someone else.
You can think of it basically like a job interview. If you were a company and saw a candidate that you really liked, are you going to keep doing phone interviews, or are you going to get an in person interview right away ? Well, if that candiate is actively looking, you have a small opportunity to snag them to come in. Same principle.
Man, some people have trouble understanding where Tinder (or online dating, for that matter) fits into the courtship process... think it's positioned along way further than it is. It's the patio at a bar, the line at a grocery store, or whatever other cliché you want to use.
How is it any different than the random girl I set eyes on who glanced me back on Mill Ave. in days of yore? How was that different? You open a line of communication (chat or in person). If they're an idiot, terrible, or incompatible, you don't move forward. What did you do? Knock on doors with suitor surveys.
I right and left swipe with my brain every time I walk into a coffee shop.
I'm sorry, I just think it's an utter waste of time and here's why. As with any online dating site, the concept is the same. You have an infinite amount of possibilities at your finger tips, which you might initially think is great, but I think it actually produces more deficiencies than success.
Have you ever shopped for something online and you just can't make up your mind because there are so many different options available? Now imagine that concept being incorporated with dating. That's exactly what Tinder is, and any online dating site for that matter. It's an excuse not to settle or give somebody a chance, because someone else, someone better, is just a swipe away. I feel like the Tinder crowd doesn't spend any time time getting to know one another. I also believe that if Tinder existed during our parent's generation, most of us probably wouldn't have been born. If you're a rock star with great looks, lots of money, a lots of worldly experience, it's probably the greatest thing since sliced bread. You're probably having an amazing time hooking up left and right. I think it's probably a great resource for that lifestyle. For an average person, who's serious about meeting someone, it's just another means to be passed over. I mean, why give anyone a chance when you can judge their entirety based on a few pictures they have posted?
You are probably right that you are being excluded due to age, that's a good possibility. I wouldn't recommend lying about your age for the sake of getting matches. At some point, you will meet up in person. I know why people lie on online dating, however; it does more damage than good. I would just use another dating service like OKC or POF. In those, it's not just pictures, but there is also a bio as well, but Tinder isn't probably the right one.
A woman that I met said that she went out with a guy who lied about his height which is probably the worst. Of course when they met she found out and walked out on him. IMO, I'd rather just tell the truth vs. meet up and have someone walk out and it be embarassing.
A guy I also know (so I'm telling both ends) met a woman who used very outdated photos and was at least 40lbs heavier than her old photos. He also bailed and was pretty rude about it, although lying is rude too.
It seems like you are looking at least for a serious girlfriend which is totally cool, nothing wrong with that, but if you lie that will probably kill any chances of that happening.
Nah. I'd caveat it on my blurb. I'm not interested in lying to anyone.
What's the point? It opens me up to far more opportunities, that's the point. There's very, very few women on the upper end of my current spectrum (I'm not interested in women from the Bon Jovi generation anyway), and I still keep those right around my current age. Keep in mind it's about showing up as a potential match, not what my search preferences are. It's all about mathematics.
Your search preferences still matter. If you were interested in women close to your age (and it sounds like maybe you're not), you'd have a better chance of seeing them if you got the younger women out of your search. My range is 27-43 and I get shown a lot of guys in their 20s. If I wanted to be shown older men more often, I'd have to get rid of the youngins.
If you're mainly interested in early 30s and younger, that's fine, but you'd probably have a better chance of meeting them outside of Tinder if that's how you usually meet them. You could try lying about your age if you want or you could change your Tinder photos and self description to reflect what younger women open to older men would most likely be looking for in a guy your age (i.e. Mature, successful provider. They can hook up with men their own age).
It does not sound like he is and it's probably just not the app to use. I agree that he is better off try other options. I NEVER had any luck on POF. Could not get a response much less date so I don't use it. Some just don't work well for some.
Man, some people have trouble understanding where Tinder (or online dating, for that matter) fits into the courtship process... think it's positioned along way further than it is. It's the patio at a bar, the line at a grocery store, or whatever other cliché you want to use.
How is it any different than the random girl I set eyes on who glanced me back on Mill Ave. in days of yore? How was that different? You open a line of communication (chat or in person). If they're an idiot, terrible, or incompatible, you don't move forward. What did you do? Knock on doors with suitor surveys.
I right and left swipe with my brain every time I walk into a coffee shop.
Reps, reps and more reps. Everyone should rep this post.
That's EXACTLY how every day life is, but all it's doing is A) putting it in a electronic form and B) presenting you with more options at one time than any trip to Starbucks, Whole Foods, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxLMG
From a man's standpoint, a good barometer is the phone number. If a girl does not give her phone number then 99.99% chance she is wasting your time. I can get meeting up in person taking awhile, but at the end of the day, giving your phone number to someone online isn't more risky than some creepy guy at the bars. It's just a phone number, not your address.
I don't think meeting up is that big of a deal either as long as it's in a public place. I can say this at least from a man's standpoint, the longer you wait to ask out a woman, esp if she is still online, the more likely you will get beat out by someone else.
You can think of it basically like a job interview. If you were a company and saw a candidate that you really liked, are you going to keep doing phone interviews, or are you going to get an in person interview right away ? Well, if that candiate is actively looking, you have a small opportunity to snag them to come in. Same principle.
This is also good stuff.
But my personal #1 barometer is how long women take to respond to you, after you get matched. I understand they have jobs, school, social life, etc. Uh so do I, minus the school, but I can take time to make conversation with someone I purposely LIKED and hoped to match with to begin with.
It's amazing, I find you attractive (clearly so if you hit 'Like') and here's a medium for us to talk to get to know each other, and you decide to take two days/two weeks to respond, then you're clearly a waste of my time.
Pfft.
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It opens me up to far more opportunities, that's the point. There's very, very few women on the upper end of my current spectrum (I'm not interested in women from the Bon Jovi generation anyway), and I still keep those right around my current age. Keep in mind it's about showing up as a potential match, not what my search preferences are. It's all about mathematics.
It's the patio at a bar, the line at a grocery store, or whatever other cliché you want to use.
