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Quality over quantity for sure with these types of relationships....and the times apart are spent building the anticipation until the next time you touch....when you get fed once or twice a week, you tend to be very hungry when it's feeding time
I dated a guy who lived far away and it was completely like this. I only saw him once a week...I had maybe a five minute window .....
I dated a guy who lived far away and it was completely like this. I only saw him once a week...I had maybe a five minute window .....
5 minutes a week? He musta packed a punch, that seems like so little time..lol You must mean five hour window right? I used to drive from the Bay Area to San Luis Obispo every week for 8 months to meet this woman. It was a lot of fun, meeting at a spa resort, get the pampering, which was a first for me, but now can't imagine not getting a mani and pedi on the regular.
It doesn't work that way for me. It just stresses me out, in a way that does not translate well into relationship stuff.
why does it stress you out? Too much emphasis on those two day? If something happens you worry that you messed up the whole weekend? If so, I get it, if you get sick, it could wipe out your time together for the whole week.
5 minutes a week? He musta packed a punch, that seems like so little time..lol You must mean five hour window right? I used to drive from the Bay Area to San Luis Obispo every week for 8 months to meet this woman. It was a lot of fun, meeting at a spa resort, get the pampering, which was a first for me, but now can't imagine not getting a mani and pedi on the regular.
No I meant I had 5 minutes to get situated before he was ready to "catch up from the week." . I was like dude, slow down! :P
why does it stress you out? Too much emphasis on those two day? If something happens you worry that you messed up the whole weekend? If so, I get it, if you get sick, it could wipe out your time together for the whole week.
No, I find the hormonal rollercoaster too difficult -- spending many hours having sex one day and then nothing for 4 or 5 days. For me, it is awful.
But jillabean is not alone -- I know other people who like it. I had a bf once who was like that (you know where this is going.... I broke up with him.) He said, 'I feel like, ok, we've been close, now that is checked of my list, time to move on and do something else.' <headdesk>
This is the same guy who, after we had been dating for 2-3 months and had not had sex in 4 weeks, I asked him, 'Are we still dating, or just friends?' Because it really was not clear to me.
He was shocked and said, 'Dating, of course!' Well, you couldn't tell from what was happening in anyone's pants.
Someone asked me if this was something others wanted, why was I having such a hard time finding it (in a private message). I answered, but I figured I would answer publicly too.
I think I am looking in the wrong place... namely online dating. I am starting to think the majority of the people online (especially on paid sites) are very focused on finding a serious relationship.
When I think of two things... myself and the single dads I knew in my old divorce support group, I realized something. I only go online to date for a couple of months in the summer... then I drop offline due to lack of time. To find all the time to do the online dating, I have to work around my daughter and my work schedule... both of which are easier to do in the summer and much harder to do during the school year and later in the year when things pick up at work (summer is the slow time at work). That's why I only do online in the summer.
Men who are in the same situation as me, most likely aren't online (which is where I've been looking and not having much luck these past two months). going back to the men from my divorce support group, if they did date, it was because they met someone who was already in their day-to-day lives... like the guy who was a single dad who played softball. He met and dated a woman on his softball team. Another man met (and is still dating) a woman he met when he took piloting classes. Even the one time I dated for an extended period of time, he was a friend of mine I happened to see when I go scuba diving--not someone I "sought out." It just happened.
Meeting people "organically" and not online is harder and slower--that's true. But maybe it's what I need to do to find the relationship I am looking for. Still, a website dedicated to people who want part-time relationships added to their already demanding and busy lives would be welcome I think. Seems like there are a few of us here who would be interested.
Yeah, as I said when she first brought the issue up, my experience is that a LOT of guys over 40 want exactly that.
And I found it frustrating because once a week, even if it's a weekend marathon, is not nearly enough sex for me.
For a few years I had a pretty good balance going with three part-time relationships, all of whom knew about each other . But eventually that fell apart.
This is how it was for me too. I had two part-timers with a little contract work sprinkled in here and there for a while too. It was fun, even though a little exhausting at times, because I was having to use multiple people to make one person.
Last edited by weezerfan84; 07-23-2014 at 07:38 AM..
I think I am looking in the wrong place... namely online dating. I am starting to think the majority of the people online (especially on paid sites) are very focused on finding a serious relationship.
On the paid sites, that's probably true. But the free sites should attract the kind of men you're looking for. The trick is to identify them. Sites like OKC don't have a "part-time lover" option. But if someone's looking for a short term relationship, they might be more interested in a part time thing. Likewise, someone who's divorced and already has kids might not be interested in anything long term. Same with someone older who's never been married. In an online profile, it's important to just spell out what you're looking for. Men who feel the same as you are probably afraid to say it, which is why you can't find them so easily. By being candid about you want, you make it easier for guys reading your profile to admit they want the same thing.
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. I was like dude, slow down! :P
. But eventually that fell apart.
