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So I am still trying to seek the type of relationship I am interested in (and thinking I am some weirdo or unusual in what I want). Then I ran across this:
It fits me to a tee! Too bad the site is English (maybe they have some Americans on it though and I should give it a shot). But some excerpts from the article that express how I feel too:
Quote:
"We are not a no-strings website. We are for singles looking for regular partners with mutual attraction, genuine friendship, respect and a magical spark but whom have no expectations of moving in after three months and value their free time and independence,"
...
Croydon admits it's not for everyone. She envisions her demographic as users in their mid-to-late 30s and early 40s who are set in their ways and might find it difficult to adapt domestically to a new partner.
"They're realistic on the fairytale," she says.
...
"You don't have to see someone three to four nights a week to express love," she told CNN over the phone from London.
"In every other aspect of life, we've gone for convenience, independence and where individualism is promoted," she says. "Yet, you have this socially approved model of relationship that you live together."
Croydon says for it to work, the partners' emphasis is still on a genuine relationship, in that there is romance and sparks but "without all the monotony and obligation of a full-time relationship."
I guess there is no real point to this post except that I feel less weird about wanting a casual (AKA "part-time") relationship. But it would be nice to hear other people's opinions of it out of curiosity.
Not weird. Like I've mentioned before, it's just hard to make work. Most guys want to sleep around with absolutely no emotional attachment. Your situation is sex with some emotional attachment, and if the guy wants that than he's likely going to want a relationship.
The situation you want is like being dealt pocket aces in poker. It's a strong hand that can usually take down a pot; however, you don't get dealt them very often. I hope you find what you're looking for, because you are putting a lot of thought into this situation.
Not weird. Like I've mentioned before, it's just hard to make work. Most guys want to sleep around with absolutely no emotional attachment. Your situation is sex with some emotional attachment, and if the guy wants that than he's likely going to want a relationship.
The situation you want is like being dealt pocket aces in poker. It's a strong hand that can usually take down a pot; however, you don't get dealt them very often. I hope you find what you're looking for, because you are putting a lot of thought into this situation.
That's why I learned how to stack a deck while shuffling .
As for thought, yeah, I over think things and have been thinking about this a lot. Hey, I've had to put my most of my personal life on hold in order to find the time to date after all (less scuba diving, no camping this summer, and my garden is a mess. I've hardly seen any of my friends as I am spending free weekends on "meet and greet" dates). So since dating has been taking over my life, it's also taking over my thoughts. I plan to cut back in the fall though (summer is when I have the most time to date).
I found the article though by Googling, "part-time lover" BTW.
Anyway, I just like the idea that there is a site for it--maybe making it easier for like-minded people to match up.
Summer tends to be the best time to date. Women and men tend to both look better. Many women just don't feel sexy in the winter bundled up in clothing. I think it's also popular, because what develops can turn into something in the winter, where they feel sexy having a man on their arm for dinner parties. Three of my relationships all started in September, so that month means a little to me.
Summer tends to be the best time to date. Women and men tend to both look better. Many women just don't feel sexy in the winter bundled up in clothing. I think it's also popular, because what develops can turn into something in the winter, where they feel sexy having a man on their arm for dinner parties. Three of my relationships all started in September, so that month means a little to me.
For me it's just a matter of having time. I am supposed to have split (50/50) custody with my Ex, but he moved away. In the fall-spring, I have our child 80% of the time now because I live near the school system we agreed to. In the summer, since there is no school, she is back to staying with him half of the time, freeing me up to date. My hope (every summer) is to date around, meet someone to focus on by the end of summer and then continue to date that man the rest of the year. No luck so far. It used to be I was meeting jerks and weridos online. Then I "met" an old friend and we had a short love affair, now I am back online and am meeting very serious relationship-minded men.
A little off subject, but I think divorced parents who make dating a full-time job/priority are the reason so many children of divorce struggle. With a few of my dates this summer (the ones that still had minor children) they all told me their kids were troubled. these are men who want to see me 2, 3, 4 times a week, call every day, and text several times a day. One father's son was starting a drug habit and another father said his daughter was on a destructive path and was cutting herself. Makes me wonder why these fathers are trying so hard and putting full effort into finding a woman/dating when their own kids are obviously in need of more parental attention and at a tipping point where things can go very badly. My daughter is fine... high grades, high test scores, involved in the community and sports, no emotional or behavioral problems... but then again, she really is my top priority, not dating.
For me it's just a matter of having time. I am supposed to have split (50/50) custody with my Ex, but he moved away. In the fall-spring, I have our child 80% of the time now because I live near the school system we agreed to. In the summer, since there is no school, she is back to staying with him half of the time, freeing me up to date. My hope (every summer) is to date around, meet someone to focus on by the end of summer and then continue to date that man the rest of the year. No luck so far. It used to be I was meeting jerks and weridos online. Then I "met" an old friend and we had a short love affair, now I am back online and am meeting very serious relationship-minded men.
A little off subject, but I think divorced parents who make dating a full-time job/priority are the reason so many children of divorce struggle. With a few of my dates this summer (the ones that still had minor children) they all told me their kids were troubled. these are men who want to see me 2, 3, 4 times a week, call every day, and text several times a day. One father's son was starting a drug habit and another father said his daughter was on a destructive path and was cutting herself. Makes me wonder why these fathers are trying so hard and putting full effort into finding a woman/dating when their own kids are obviously in need of more parental attention and at a tipping point where things can go very badly. My daughter is fine... high grades, high test scores, involved in the community and sports, no emotional or behavioral problems... but then again, she really is my top priority, not dating.
Question, why do people lead with such negative information regarding their kids? One thing I'm very uncomfortable with is parents showing me their kids on a first date or meet up. This happened on one that I went on the other week. She was quick to show me her daughters and son. I stand by the age old comment that no one loves your kids like you do. As much as you care about them, the next person may not care at all. It just makes me uncomfortable, because initially I'm interested in the parent and interest in the child(ren) can come much later.
Like you, I'm an old style dater. I don't want to meet kids till I'm ready and I really don't want to talk about them all the time either. In the end, I want to get to know their mom as Suzanne, not the mother of two kids named Suzanne. You get where I'm coming from? I want to get to know Suzanne outside of just being a mother, because if she doesn't have a life outside her children, than we're not going to have much in common.
It's not that I don't care, but I want to know who you are outside of your child(ren). That has been difficult to find in my area this year.
Question, why do people lead with such negative information regarding their kids? One thing I'm very uncomfortable with is parents showing me their kids on a first date or meet up. This happened on one that I went on the other week. She was quick to show me her daughters and son. I stand by the age old comment that no one loves your kids like you do. As much as you care about them, the next person may not care at all. It just makes me uncomfortable, because initially I'm interested in the parent and interest in the child(ren) can come much later.
Like you, I'm an old style dater. I don't want to meet kids till I'm ready and I really don't want to talk about them all the time either. In the end, I want to get to know their mom as Suzanne, not the mother of two kids named Suzanne. You get where I'm coming from? I want to get to know Suzanne outside of just being a mother, because if she doesn't have a life outside her children, than we're not going to have much in common.
I don't get it either. I don't talk about my daughter (unless asked) and even then, I am very guarded about what I say. Mainly out of a sense of knowing "this man is pretty much a stranger to me at this point." I also have no intention of taking any man around my daughter, at all, unless it does become a serious relationship OR if by some really weird stroke of fate, he has a daughter too, about my daughter's age and we can go out with the kids as "friends" and do something with the kids like go to an amusement park, etc. But considering that I had my daughter later in life and that most people my age have teen-aged kids and most men seem to want to date younger (and therefore have even older children), that combination is probably not going to happen.
I know they need one here in the US too. If I was more computer savvy, I might start my own side business, lol. I bet there is demand since people seem so busy these days with family, career, etc.
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But it would be nice to hear other people's opinions of it out of curiosity.
they need one here in the US too. If I was more computer savvy, I might start my own side business, lol. I bet there is demand since people seem so busy these days with family, career, etc.
