Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I seek out women who have careers and children at home. They are busy most of the time, so we will text a bit before bedtime, maybe an occasional phone call, but we understand that direct communication can't always happen. I can't stand when I feel obligated to make calls or text in a timely manner. And I always get that, when a woman is single without kids. I need women who are as active/busy as I am. If the balance is one sided, it's almost a guarantee, that the person with more time, will most likely act clingy, and demanding. And if they don't, they are probably showing good restraint.
And if they don't, they are probably showing good restraint.
I don't know. I take after my mom. We've got too much other stuff going on to call/text all day. It just isn't my nature at all. I talk to my parents roughly once a week or every 10 days and they complain it isn't enough. There are occasional texts or emails mixed in.
Not long ago I dated a guy who I thought was like me. But I was wrong. He just called too often. Daily is about the max for me, and I would get several calls from him a day. He was a chatterbox too. I was thought, OMG I don't have this kind of time.
Probably friends with benefits is most appropriate. It's right in the middle b/c overly casual and dating. The thing is though it can sometimes tilt where one party wants more and does not end well, so I usually don't try a 'middle of the road'. Not to say it cannot work, but it has a decent potential to go awry.
I know, for some other men this can be hard to imagine...
Of course, I am ill willed, and lack imagination! Right?
You are not understanding the math here. A part time monogamous relationship is not of interest to many men because they will not have their physical needs met. The honest men are the ones like me that acknowledge up front that they are interested in a part time *non monogamous* relationship. Supply and demand factors will drive some men that respond to Jillabean's ad for a part time relationship to lie about their intentions. Out of let us say 20 responses from men, 14 men will provide honest replies that they are interested in such a part time relationship on a non monogamous basis, 2 will provide honest replies that they are interested in a part time relationship on a monogamous basis, and 4 will provide dishonest replies that they are interested in a part time relationship on a monogamous basis. Jilabeen will throw out the 14 replies from honest men that seek a non monogamous relationship, which will leave her to make her decision from the 6 men that said they would be interested in a part time monogamous relationship. The problem being that even though only 4 of the 20 men (20%) that responded lied, all 4 of those men are now part of the 6 man pool that she has to select from. So the odds of her selecting one of the men that lied is now 66%.
Of course, I am ill willed, and lack imagination! Right?
You are not understanding the math here. A part time monogamous relationship is not of interest to many men because they will not have their physical needs met. The honest men are the ones like me that acknowledge up front that they are interested in a part time *non monogamous* relationship. Supply and demand factors will drive some men that respond to Jillabean's ad for a part time relationship to lie about their intentions. Out of let us say 20 responses from men, 14 men will provide honest replies that they are interested in such a part time relationship on a non monogamous basis, 2 will provide honest replies that they are interested in a part time relationship on a monogamous basis, and 4 will provide dishonest replies that they are interested in a part time relationship on a monogamous basis. Jilabeen will throw out the 14 replies from honest men that seek a non monogamous relationship, which will leave her to make her decision from the 6 men that said they would be interested in a part time monogamous relationship. The problem being that even though only 4 of the 20 men (20%) that responded lied, all 4 of those men are now part of the 6 man pool that she has to select from. So the odds of her selecting one of the men that lied is now 66%.
Most of the men I date are my age or a little older. Which means most of the men I date are divorced, single dads in their 40s and have that obligations (and I live in a state with 50/50 custody by default unless the couple agrees otherwise or one party is found unfit). Also, most men in my dating age range are at the height of their careers. They are like me. Their weekdays are packed with obligations such as work, family, kids, etc. They aren't kids with raging hormones and no real obligations in life.
The supply and demand" if they are like me, they are responsible parents and adults (like their married counterparts), they don't have the time to date on a week day except on a rare occasion. They are like me and have time on weekends to date--but not even all weekend because there are still other obligations and if you have friends or hobbies, you aren't going to want to give them up. In between you call, text, whatever.
As for "physical needs" -- you make time for it or pack it in to fun filled weekends and such or meet up on a lunch break now and then. Last guy I dated (long distance) we would have sex 3-4 times a night all weekend long. You make up time and spice it up with anticipation.
I guess what I am saying is I am looking for an independent man who has a life... not a dependent who can't function unless he's around a woman all the time. As I've been dating, I am running into men who seem to have no life, no friends, nothing. I am not interested in a clingy man who "needs" to see me every other day, call every day and text non-stop all day like a teenager. I am not interested in a man who puts his children behind some woman he just met online last week. I am not interested in a man who has no life, hobbies, or interests of his own... no passion in life.
And if a man isn't interested in a part time relationship, fine... go date a clingy woman. There are men out there like me. That's who I am interested in.
Do you wanna collaborate? I work in IT as a web developer.
I'm surprised there isn't already a site like this in the U.S. Then again, people would probably dismiss it as a hookup site. The big dating sites like Match and OKC offer options like short term dating, but that really isn't the same thing as part time lover. As someone close to 40 who's never been married, this is probably more in line with what I'm looking for. The idea of living with someone doesn't really appeal to me as much as it used to. I like having a life outside of my partner where if I want a night or two off to do my own thing, I can without having to tell them where I'm going or who I'm meeting. The part time lover is especially appealing when it comes to family. No longer do you have to worry about introducing your partner to your parents or meet their parents or worry about someone not getting along. At the same time, you're not chasing after a new person every week.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1w0n
I seek out women who have careers and children at home. They are busy most of the time, so we will text a bit before bedtime, maybe an occasional phone call, but we understand that direct communication can't always happen. I can't stand when I feel obligated to make calls or text in a timely manner. And I always get that, when a woman is single without kids. I need women who are as active/busy as I am. If the balance is one sided, it's almost a guarantee, that the person with more time, will most likely act clingy, and demanding. And if they don't, they are probably showing good restraint.
These are they types of men I am interested in... men who have a life outside a romantic relationship and want me to have my own too.
Last edited by jillabean; 07-22-2014 at 05:39 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
