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Old 07-30-2014, 01:32 PM
 
4,038 posts, read 4,871,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dragon_fly_12 View Post
Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode about this type of thing.... ?
You missed the vid posted earlier in this thread.
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Old 07-30-2014, 01:35 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,251 posts, read 108,166,150 times
Reputation: 116241
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avoforastig View Post
Lonely a choice? I've been single for the better part of two years. Despite putting in a huge effort and dating a variety of different women, nothing has panned out. I can't help but think I'm being too picky and this is my fault. What should I do? This girl seems pretty great on paper, I mean how can I not blame myself?
Some people revel in their solitude. Others torture themselves with loneliness. The difference between the two is your mindset. You do have a choice.
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Old 07-30-2014, 01:39 PM
 
7,413 posts, read 6,240,398 times
Reputation: 6666
What specifically changed about her looks over three dates?
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Old 07-30-2014, 04:21 PM
 
Location: between the swamp and the ocean
216 posts, read 439,107 times
Reputation: 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avoforastig View Post
Please elaborate. I have only been living in my city for a year. I have a couple good friends in the area, both of which are married or in long-term relationships. I work long hours. I'm not really outgoing.
Sounds to me like you're spending time with this woman out of boredom and loneliness, when you know in your heart and brain that it's not the right match. You're leading her on, plain and simple.
I had a similar situation recently. I was new to my current city, and began dating a man (from online) who was a lot of fun to spend time with, had a great friend group, and shared common interests. I let it go on a couple weeks more than it should have, maybe in part due to my boredom. The right thing to do is to be unselfish, and break it off with her. I recommend you focus on meeting more people through Meetups, volunteer organizations, and work, and expand your social circle that way.
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Old 07-30-2014, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,928,883 times
Reputation: 28563
I went out with a guy one time due to attraction (and conversation) but in reality he was a horrible fit because we didn't share the same values and had different goals/needs for relationship partners. I dragged it out longer than I should have because we had loads of fun together, but I knew it wasn't going anywhere. But the longer I "dated" him, the more attached he got and he started picturing the future of moving in together and all sorts of other future life planning stuff.

So if you know it is a bad fit, why drag things along, people just end up getting hurt.
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