Since we're all complaining about online dating... (girlfriend, men, older)
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Moon Beam, ignore the men assuming you are old/ugly/fat/whatever. It might be that but could be many other factors. I'm none of the above (though some sociopaths think at 43 I'm elderly but whatever) and still struggled with online.Oh I got hundreds of responses but most were of the "you're hot" variety or men not what I wanted. Don't let it get to you. I couldn't understand why a man rejected me though he seemed like a match but their loss.
I'm honestly too chicken to use these sites. Me and a freind browsed her sister in laws account once and all she got was messages from guys wanting sex. we scrolled some of the men on there and lets just say my confidence was boosted because any and everything you can imagine has a profile on there lol. I guess confidence is key because most of the men just want the hot chicks with there goods all exposed. I once got a message from a guy on one site and he flat out asked if I wanted to have a one night sort of deal. I ignored it. One thing I wanted to point out is that its not only bigger girls or the ugly ones getting hit up only for sex,I have two freinds that are pretty and get checked out in public and they haven't had any luck online. Just sex request and things that never materialize.
Moon Beam, ignore the men assuming you are old/ugly/fat/whatever. It might be that but could be many other factors. I'm none of the above (though some sociopaths think at 43 I'm elderly but whatever) and still struggled with online.Oh I got hundreds of responses but most were of the "you're hot" variety or men not what I wanted. Don't let it get to you. I couldn't understand why a man rejected me though he seemed like a match but their loss.
She wasn't called ugly. She was assumed to be average looking, which she admitted she is. You're not doing her any favors by sugarcoating.
Most guys on dating websites are in relationships, but the relationships are new and they are 'seeing how it goes' before they take down their profile, or they just forgot about the site and never returned to delete, or they are married, considering divorce, and testing the waters.
Not that many of them are actually available, so a lack of response is not necessarily any reflection on the OPs attractiveness.
The OP may also not know that, in internet dating culture, no response is considered a very polite 'no thank you'.
I'm not getting attached, just thinking a little common courtesy wouldn't kill anyone.
That's a huge peeve of mine. I respond to every single message, without exception. Guys get few enough messages as it is, do we really need to compound the problem by ignoring them? Your experience is basically what all men online deal with, and we obviously don't enjoy it. You'd think more of us would ENCOURAGE people to message us by at least replying to the ones who do.
Most guys on dating websites are in relationships, but the relationships are new and they are 'seeing how it goes' before they take down their profile, or they just forgot about the site and never returned to delete, or they are married, considering divorce, and testing the waters.
Not that many of them are actually available, so a lack of response is not necessarily any reflection on the OPs attractiveness.
The OP may also not know that, in internet dating culture, no response is considered a very polite 'no thank you'.
I attempted to use pof recently. I got like 200 messages the first day. I responded to maybe 5. After that, I only responded to the ones that seemed interesting. I think the problem was that even if I expressed a lack of interest, I would get more messages from the guy. I mean, since you don't know the people at all, and they don't know you at all, and it's just the online thing, I don't think it's necessary to expect some kind of message in response to every message you send out. I mean, if they're not interested, they're not interested. Do you really need something saying, "You seem nice but no thanks." ? On the flip side, I sent a message like that to a guy and he wrote to me: "You're like all the crazy b-tches on this site!" I thought I was being polite in saying he seemed nice, I did not think we would be compatible, but I wished him the best. I dropped my profile after the *one* guy who seemed really decent sent me a totally random picture of his penis. Sigh!
Have to agree with the last two posts. OP is probably average looking at best. Decent looking girls would be getting responses to her messages. Maybe not every single one, but I'd wager at least half. If you're only average looking or below, you're going to have send out more messages to get that response. 5-10 messages isn't enough. Guys often send out way more just to get one response. You're just going to have to suck it up and keep trying.
I disagree. I'm a former model, compete in pageants, and I get a lot of attention in person. Online? Nope. I get messages from shady older men that are 30 years my senior, and guys who clearly just want to hook up. Even though I receive messages, if I send out messages, maybe one or two guys will respond. I even had someone accuse me of being a fake profile lol. It's not any easier. Plus, all I get is references to my looks and no one mentions my write up or asks me any questions about myself (or cares). I ended up taking my photos down and have a private album that I only reveal to favorites.
Back to the OP, honestly, it could be any little thing. Sometimes I get picky when I'm looking through profiles, and things like their interests, political views, desire for children, if they have a large aggressive looking pet dog etc etc makes me not want to respond because it's not a match in my view. I guess guys do the same thing, and kind of just sort through profiles/messages until they find girls they feel are attractive to them and match whatever additional criteria they have in their heads about what they want. Or at least that's what I tell myself lol. Don't take it personally, online dating just sucks
Speaking for myself, there are times when I actually use the site aggresively, and then there are times when my profile is still up & I check it occasionally but I'm not really active in a meaningful way - in particular sending or responding to messages. So there are times when I'm just there to scope things out. Perhaps you're encountering people like that? I've been on and off of OKC for more than a year but I'd say I've been an active, highly participatory user maybe 4 months at most.
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