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How is it any different from a man walking up "in real life" and saying, "hello, is this seat taken?" and then sit with you and start talking? To someone who just started online dating and has no experience, it comes across the same (at first). You compare things to "real life." It's only later that you realize these are spam messages people send.
Hello, is this seat taken is appropriate. Your answer is yes or no. I see it as socially appropriate. If a woman approaches me and says "You're hot", I'm not looking at her as a sweet person who wants to casually talk my ear off about things I love. It's a statement that has undertones of I want something from you, in this situation likely my number, my lips, my penis, or a combination of all. Most women I know that approach a man and say "you're hot" is probably getting naked with him before the nights over, or at least wants to.
Maybe I gauge too hard online, but I just don't believe everything I see that's put in front of me online. At least in a real life social setting I can gauge the person. Unless you're FaceTiming or Skyping, you're not able to do that in the digital world.
How is it any different from a man walking up "in real life" and saying, "hello, is this seat taken?" and then sit with you and start talking? To someone who just started online dating and has no experience, it comes across the same (at first). You compare things to "real life." It's only later that you realize these are spam messages people send.
Yes. Men often don't realise what women put up with, IRL or online, to get laid.
I'm always amazed, too, at how many men fall for scammers in online dating. They really think the person sexting them is the blonde 18 year old in the bikini picture.
Just regular old sites... EHarmony, Match, OKCupid (well, not on any of those anymore, but I saw these things there).
When I first started online dating and was new to it all, I'd get a message like, "hey beautiful. Want to talk?" and I would respond (before I figured out these were spam messages to ignore). When I responded, it was another person, definitely... but it was a scammer because the exchange of messages usually led to a point where he talked about needing money. I blocked right after that, because I was no fool. I also picked up that the scam (for women) was to play on the heart strings... a poor, widowed man who just wants his children back and needs a little money to get their passports (or whatever). It got to the point where I screened out widowers.
I don't know her personally, but a friend of mine says one of his friends fell for something like that on Christian Mingle. She was an older widow herself and a bit naive to scams and such. According to him, she ended up wiring someone thousands of dollars.
Recognizing an Online Dating Scam Artist
Your online “date” may only be interested in your money if he or she:
Presses you to leave the dating website you met through and to communicate using personal e-mail or instant messaging;
Professes instant feelings of love;
Sends you a photograph of himself or herself that looks like something from a glamour magazine;
Claims to be from the U.S. and is traveling or working overseas;
Makes plans to visit you but is then unable to do so because of a tragic event; or
Asks for money for a variety of reasons (travel, medical emergencies, hotel bills, hospitals bills for child or other relative, visas or other official documents, losses from a financial setback or crime victimization).
That is crazy. Maybe I've been lucky, but I've never had anyone ask me for money or anything. I don't talk to people who live far away or can't meet up quickly.
Hello, is this seat taken is appropriate. Your answer is yes or no. I see it as socially appropriate. If a woman approaches me and says "You're hot", I'm not looking at her as a sweet person who wants to casually talk my ear off about things I love. It's a statement that has undertones of I want something from you, in this situation likely my number, my lips, my penis, or a combination of all. Most women I know that approach a man and say "you're hot" is probably getting naked with him before the nights over, or at least wants to.
Maybe I gauge too hard online, but I just don't believe everything I see that's put in front of me online. At least in a real life social setting I can gauge the person. Unless you're FaceTiming or Skyping, you're not able to do that in the digital world.
See, the scammers don't say "you're hot" or anything charged with sexual innuendo like that. They say, "beautiful" or "you seem like a nice lady, want to talk?" etc. And guess what, men say similar things in "real life" too. I've had men smile at me and say, "you have a pretty smile," and I tend to say "thank you." Or they ask if the seat is taken and start talking to me, etc. They aren't being creepy (to me) it's just the way some men are... flirtatious and/or friendly. Of course, there are the creepy ones too, but calling me beautiful, that's not creepy, it's a nice thing to say.
So saying, "hello beautiful, want to chat" online doesn't come across any different when you are new to online dating.
It's only after doing online dating for a little while (a week maybe) that I caught on to how these things work. I never actually fell for the scam itself, just the chit chat before.
That is crazy. Maybe I've been lucky, but I've never had anyone ask me for money or anything. I don't talk to people who live far away or can't meet up quickly.
I've seen it happen, they even did a few tv specials on the subject and one lady I know ran into a few of these wonderful people. Sad to say she's quite gullible, but, she didn't fall for this most recent attempt.
Yes. Men often don't realise what women put up with, IRL or online, to get laid.
I'm always amazed, too, at how many men fall for scammers in online dating. They really think the person sexting them is the blonde 18 year old in the bikini picture.
Yeah, I never actually "Fell" for the scammers. Just started talking to them before I realized what they are.
So for men, the scammers present themselves as 18-year-olds in bikinis... for women, they present themselves as dedicated fathers who just want their kids back. They play to cliched weaknesses for certain.
I've seen it happen, they even did a few tv specials on the subject and one of my girlfriends ran in to a few of these wonder people. Sad to say she's quite gullible, but, she didn't fall for this most recent attempt.
Now that you mention it, I think my friend was communicating with one of these scammers too, but he never got to the point of asking her for money.
If that's true, then why do so many men complain that they get no response to their messages?
While this doesn't pertain to all men, when they say they aren't getting messages they mean from women they want. I had this male friend who complained no one was responding but in reality the women he wanted weren't responding. He wanted younger (18-25 and he was 40), slimmer (he was obese), professional (unemployed) and home owner or renter (lived with parents). He had women contact him but they were obese women around his age and that wasn't good enough. He died alone.
I disagree. I'm a former model, compete in pageants, and I get a lot of attention in person. Online? Nope. I get messages from shady older men that are 30 years my senior, and guys who clearly just want to hook up. Even though I receive messages, if I send out messages, maybe one or two guys will respond. I even had someone accuse me of being a fake profile lol. It's not any easier. Plus, all I get is references to my looks and no one mentions my write up or asks me any questions about myself (or cares). I ended up taking my photos down and have a private album that I only reveal to favorites.
Back to the OP, honestly, it could be any little thing. Sometimes I get picky when I'm looking through profiles, and things like their interests, political views, desire for children, if they have a large aggressive looking pet dog etc etc makes me not want to respond because it's not a match in my view. I guess guys do the same thing, and kind of just sort through profiles/messages until they find girls they feel are attractive to them and match whatever additional criteria they have in their heads about what they want. Or at least that's what I tell myself lol. Don't take it personally, online dating just sucks
My experience pretty much too (and I am also a former model). Offline I have men falling over me but online? mostly older men, guys looking for sex, and dads (my profile states no dads). When a normal seeming childless guy contacted me I found out he wasn't that normal and he was usually married or mental (one guy threatened me). I rarely ever had a guy reference my profile it was usually "you're hot".
While this doesn't pertain to all men, when they say they aren't getting messages they mean from women they want. I had this male friend who complained no one was responding but in reality the women he wanted weren't responding. He wanted younger (18-25 and he was 40), slimmer (he was obese), professional (unemployed) and home owner or renter (lived with parents). He had women contact him but they were obese women around his age and that wasn't good enough. He died alone.
no cats? They usually have cats.
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