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I think so. Of course it is possible that I only exist in my head.
I enjoy being single, over 50 not so much really.
I have been married twice and raised my children so it is nice to now have my life more to myself. No SO to worry with, no compromises to make. I have the love of my family, I have friends, a job and a full life so I don't really miss the intimacy of a mate. Sometimes, but when I remember the energy it takes to be in a relationship I am content not being in one.
The freedom and autonomy of this situation is very attractive, but becomes a problem rather quickly when you try to merge your life with another person's. Maybe it depends on how well you choose a compatible mate. but this how it looks to me, over on the single side of the fence. This viewpoint makes for some ambivalence about pairing up, I am honest enough to admit that.
Yes, the freedom and control over one's own life is very enticing.
Possible Why Not's:
I don't enjoy everything about this situation, though. For one thing when you do want "pairing up" it's a challenge. And if you consider yourself on the quality end of the singles dating pool, you may have no better luck than a woman who is not on that end of things. The latter may have better luck because she is less picky oftentimes.
Other things I don't like about being over 50 and single is that unfortunately, blanket assumptions are made about your character and desirability the moment you announce you're a longtime single. People look askance and seem to be thinking, "What's wrong with you? why HAVEN'T you chased someone down or used trickery to find a man and make him yours?" This is bad news for me, because I don't chase men (that old school stuff again) and I will not use trickery or coercion to get a man interested in me.
i got annoyed once when a security guard made an assumption that I am "lonesome" and need a girlfriend. how would he know? just because i arrive to the clinic(I am being treated for cancer, I still work and have a lot on my plate) by myself in the mornings and sit for a few minutes not talking to anyone before getting my treatment? this guy himself talks of having nobody. I hate when this happens. I just have no patience for it. another time a cab driver did pretty much the same thing. when i tried to play along (which supposedly may make one feel better) I got no response or just got asked the same questions all over again. so annoying
I am happy being alone. I have peace now that my ex is not here. I have good friends with varied interests, so I am out at lease once a week and sometimes on weekends. There are times that I want to date more. Overall, I am happy and at peace.
I am happy being alone. I have peace now that my ex is not here. I have good friends with varied interests, so I am out at lease once a week and sometimes on weekends. There are times that I want to date more. Overall, I am happy and at peace.
This is exactly how I feel now. I used to always want to be in a relationship, but after living with someone for over 12 years, and now the 3-year relationship that ended in the fall, I feel differently. I feel like ti always becomes the same thing, a guy who falls in love with me for certain traits, then later tries to change those things about me. My last ex hated my family, I always felt like I had to choose.
This summer being single, I have had friends and family staying with me for weekends, dates, friends to do things with, and I don't have to "get permission" to do anything.
So many times this summer, the kids (my nephews) were acting up, etc, and I would think "thank God ____(my ex) isn't here" because he would have ruined it for all of us with his grumpiness. This has been the lovliest, most relaxing summer I have had in years.
I am still dating, but more for companion/lover than serious relationship this time around.
Do you mean single, widowed, or divorced? They are 3 different types. Too many lump them together.
A truly single person, such as myself, think of relationships in a different way than the widowed or divorced. We chose our lifestyle. It did not happen because of death, a person leaving us, or because we left someone.
We are not the marrying kind. As people get to know us they realize that ( that's when they quit trying to fix us up). Some stay, some leave. Some leave, come back, and leave again. Some people are jealous of us and others think we are nuts. Some get very angry at us when they realize that what we have now is all it is ever going to be. Don't waste your time trying to change us.
All of the truly single people I know are happy. It is the divorced and widowed that seem to get lonely. I think they want what they had in the past.
Yes, I exist. I'm over 50. I enjoy and prefer being single. By choice, I refrained from dating while raising my kids (single parent). My kids are in college now and at this point I don't want to be in an exclusive relationship and absolutely do not want to get married. I have friends and a social life. I'm happy. I like my life as it is. Also, I don't want to end up as some old guys caregiver.
these by far are the most positive responses ive ever seen to this topic. I fall into this category myself.
Seems the older you get the more comfortable you become with yourself. It's the younger people in this forum who are struggling.
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