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I agree with the OP's wife. If the trust isn't there, there's no point in staying married. If you don't trust her, OP, why are you so bothered she left? Do you honestly thought she will put up with your incessant inquiries like a recycling plant over and over and over.... you get my drift?
Ah yes, trying to excuse the woman her bad behavior and/or blame the man. How typical. She LIED to him. Why should he trust anything she says?
I can't imagine how I would react in this situation. My hat is off to you and I hope you can find peace and make it as easy as possible for your daughter in this hard time. It sounds like you are all she has.
If the OP cant find a suitable replacement in a reasonable time then his daughter is going to watch the slow denigration into alchoalism and depression. Nights on POF chasing ghosts.
I generally like your posts, but not in this case. He could be a decent father while taking his time to make sure he doesn't end up with the kind of b**** that does that to him again. His daughter is more important than his own needs right now and that should be more powerful than drinking or self loathing.
She has left you with few choices. You didn't say what state you live in, but if and when you file for divorce, that will make a difference. Not all states would treat this situation the same. If you can prove infidelity, and have a witness, try to get a statement by that witness signed before a notary public. Getting a divorce is not going to be a fun thing to go through, but neither is trying to live with a spouse who is a habitual liar and a cheater. If I were you I'd spend a hundred bucks and see an attorney and find out just where you stand. I would also keep my mouth shut about what you are doing to family and friends until you know exactly what the laws in your state are, and where you legally stand. Chances are she will paying you child support if she has a job, and If you get custody of the child you will keep your house for the time being. Realize one thing, there is nothing that can be done to make this relationship like it used to be. Forgive, yes, but don't let her sweet talk you into taking her back into the house, or back into the relationship. It is darn hard to fall out of love, but if you don't, and you give in to any of her demands because you still love her, and feel sorry for her, you will regret it. Hey, I've been where you are. I can tell you, you will be lonely, you will be sad, and you will long for the good times you spent with her. They are over, learn to treat them like an ice cream cone; it was good while it lasted, but when it's gone it's gone. There will be a time in the months ahead, your life will come back together and you will know you did the right thing by getting her out of your life. Don't let her con you into giving her a second chance and don't share your plans with her unless you don't care how you have been treated. If you want to maintain custody of your daughter, get moving on this and see an attorney, and learn you can not be a nice guy and come out on top.
Last edited by Nite Ryder; 08-07-2014 at 10:45 PM..
She left several months back and has expressed no interest in counseling when I broach the subject.
Then there's nothing left to do but find a good divorce lawyer. She made that clear when she walked out not just on you but on your daughter as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
. . . Be warned that most men on this site have never been in a relationship (let alone married) and get their ideas from misogyny forums. Take anything you hear here about divorce and courts with a tew tons of salt. They are not speaking about real life.
And enough of us have beenMod cut: languageover in "real life" court to know it still happens on a regular basis. Thankfully this bird gave the OP the upper hand by leaving their daughter with him, but don't be surprised nonetheless if she winds up with primary custody before the day is over.
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Thankfully this bird gave the OP the upper hand by leaving their daughter with him, but don't be surprised nonetheless if she winds up with primary custody before the day is over.
